Argumental

The return of this show was welcomed most enthusiastically in our household, partly because we had so much enjoyed previous series and partly (of course) because of the first-born's latest comedy infatuation!


Obviously, there is always a concern when a show which seemed to have the perfect combination of personalities undergoes such an immense change, but for the most part the new cast doesn’t seem too bad; although maybe rather than just keeping the same old title, this series should be now billed as Argumental 2.0 just to distinguish it from the former.

I am still not quite sure how I feel about Sean Lock’s efforts as host. I think he is a brilliant comedian, don’t get me wrong, but that was a lot of the problem; his constant need to be heard did slightly grate at me, simply because that is not his purpose. It did quite make me think of the US version of ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway’, in which Drew Carey felt the constant need to write himself into rounds… I was half-wondering when we should expect Lock to announce a special round just for himself. This was the main reason the previous team worked well, John Sergeant was able to be funny without the egotistical need to be funnier than his co-stars. Part of me is a little annoyed, too, because with Lock now hosting, we won’t get to hear any of his rambling rants which always made him such a hilarious guest in previous series.

I did think new captains Robert Webb and Seann Walsh worked very well together. There is an obvious contrast between them in terms of age and experience but that can only help on a show with the sole focus being debate. There was obviously a lacking in the chemistry we saw from previous captains, Marcus Brigstocke and Rufus Hound but this I am sure will come as they both relax into the show. I did feel at times Webb was holding back slightly, although the softer side of me would like to think of it as an attempt to avoid taking over the show completely rather than to suggest he just was not trying; much like a father playing football with his son and clearly allowing the odd goal past just to boost his confidence slightly. Walsh performed outstandingly well in spite of being far less experienced than the others and the show was well worth watching a second time just for his brilliant impression of a women’s tennis match! I also think his stumbling, lackadaisical delivery is perfectly suited to such a format as this, lending to the ad lib nature.



Watch it – if you have access to Dave*, of course… if you don’t then I’m sorry. Unfortunately there is little I can do to remedy this, but to say that there are videos on the Dave website.

*As I have previously mentioned, there are places on the web that host TV shows for you to stream, but whilst the websites themselves claim it is perfectly legal, I still do not know for sure, so will not link to them… but you could find them if you looked I guess.

The next episode airs Thursday 11th November at 10pm with guests Jack Whitehall and Chris Ramsay.

Check here for details of the many opportunities to catch the show if you missed it!

Seann Walsh: Ying and Young

Child one and I popped over to the next town to watch the fabulous Seann Walsh tonight. Now I don’t know about other parents, but I do feel it makes for a promising show when the first words spoken are a reference to performing a sexual act on your child…. I’ll come back to that one though!

Walsh was supported by Romesh Ranganathan. As a warm-up, Romesh did a brilliant job; I was vaguely familiar with him from the BBC New Comedy Award and it was great to hear a longer set from him. I have to say, an unexpected support act is always a great bonus – like a BOGOF offer – free laughs, and all that… much like if you were to call an escort agency and book yourself a man for the evening then two arrive… no, sorry, that’s something else entirely – a bonus comedian is nothing like having two men arrive to take you out for an evening… but something to think about for a moment or two nevertheless.

Back to point: yes, Romesh Ranganathan was very funny. I did enjoy his slow, methodical delivery and I felt his relaxed pace contrasted brilliantly with the speed and energy of Walsh making them a great pairing.
I remember writing something about him in the summer but can’t find where it was published now; I would love to refer to it directly but I have to find something different to write in case of breeching agreements and such – so I shall just leave it at that. Take a look at his website, see where he is to be and go watch him! That is what I would do if I were you – but I’m not!

So to Seann Walsh himself. What can I say but that he was every bit as brilliant as we expected him to be! Okay, so he opened with a deeply inappropriate suggestive remark, but as you can tell by now (I hope!) I am perfectly capable of knowing the difference between something being said as part of an act and a statement of intention – and I make the assumption his statement was the former… and besides, we all know I love when my kids are embarrassed – and she certainly was!
Anyway, what more to say? The audience were particularly lively and I loved his attitude towards the more active members. It says a lot for his level of professionalism even in the rambling, lazy persona he portrays that he was able to sidetrack to joke with the audience member, yet still return to the very point he left off.
His material was great. I have read criticisms that it is material that does not work for an audience of varying ages, but I disagree completely; I don’t think there was anyone who did not get the points he was making – even if you did not understand the references directly, the delivery was such that it was still immensely funny and it really was not difficult to work out what he meant. (don't start me on another rant about lazy reviewing, please!!)
Edgy, energetic, fluid and absolutely hilarious; exactly what you would expect if you have seen any of his television appearances. If you can’t get to see him live, he is on the first episode of the new series of Live at the Apollo this Friday at 9.30pm on BBC1. I expect it will be much of the same material, as that is mostly the way with these things.

For my local readers, the tour is back in these parts on Wednesday (not in this town, obviously! But nearby) Contact me and I’ll let you know where! Just don’t tell the child-people in case they expect me to take them again… not that I wouldn’t – but I can’t justify abandoning the hub-creature for another night out whilst he is still bed-ridden.

And, yes you have guessed it – Miss Middle has been drawing again! So here is an ickle pic…

Like Hot Buttered Toast…

Every wonder if you aren’t spreading yourself a little too thinly?

I do… but have never really let it worry me until now when I find myself wondering if I need to hone in my hoarder spirit a little.

Being an eclectic person, I have made conscious efforts to avoid pigeon-holing myself by genre or demographic; I have worked with equal pride and gusto on projects for children and adults alike; I have put together basic instruction guides aimed at complete morons incapable of sussing which is the “on” switch of a new kettle to full technical guides of which I understand little myself; I have written poetry, prose and short stories on many themes, from sci-fi through to trashy romance and beyond; I have published articles on a huge array of subjects, some relevant to my own skills and experiences, some completely research-based. I have started, though, to look at whether I need to actually start to fit my writing neatly into a little box so people can find me easily.

I think it’s great to have the freedom to write about what I want, when I want but is this just the slightest bit lazy?
It probably is. If I do not declare a genre, I do not have to follow rules of that theme. In fact, I mostly just write without really thinking about what it is I am trying to say. You may tell from the here-and-there nature of these posts!

I was asked the other day “Do you not worry that you won’t build up a reliable fan-base?”
Now I see the point in this question, especially given that the person who asked does have quite a cult following of their own, but honestly; no.

I do not write for others, I write for me. Even in the case of reviews as I write here and in other shady corners of the internet I do not write them to inform others, more as a way to make my opinion heard – and let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be heard?

But yes, maybe I do need to decide who/what I am; maybe I need to focus on one thing at a time; maybe I should be writing for a market rather than for myself.

Or maybe there is enough of me to go around and as such I can spread myself as thinly as I choose.




It isn’t only my work which is affected by my ‘bits and pieces’ nature.

Having a deep love for words and language, I could not resist recently snapping the hand off a friend who was selling a Rosetta Stone bundle with a heap of language packs. I think you normally buy just the one language, but this had some twenty or so. The obvious start-point for me was Welsh, so I have worked through that set of lessons and have now commenced both Polish and Vietnamese.

I did not see an issue with learning two languages concurrently; after all we were made to do it at school and that was not so long ago… But my friend challenged me on the decision: “Would it not be better to just do one at a time?”

Um… no! Because then it would take an age to complete ALL of them, which I fully intend to do.

“But when will you use all those languages?”

And she is possibly correct, maybe I won’t; but at the moment I fully intend to.

Yesterday, after discovering my ALISON account had some 17 active courses on it, I decided to have a clear up. I finished the accountancy diploma and claimed the certificate for that, then deleted some of the others which seemed irrelevant to where my life is now, still leaving me with four ongoing courses.

Added to that I have not yet finished the final stage of my PLT training, am trying to expand my Makaton beyond that required in schools and am still planning to complete my degree once things are settled here I certainly need to do something about my hotchpotch gathering attitude!

But I have made a start at least!

Sketchy with Diarmuid Corr

I often bemoan the fact that the I-player opens automatically on the TV page. As a listener rather than a viewer, I would like at least to be given the choice! But today I stumbled across this little gem.

I do not know if it was always there, but today there was a section of the player titled “Just For You” in which was a link to Sketchy. I must say, I think they need to expand the demographic slightly; or maybe show it somewhere other than in NI, unless of course they lie and it isn’t ‘just for me’ at all.


I very much enjoyed the show. It felt a lot like some of the comedy shows I grew up watching, with a great mix of sketches and stand-up.

In a time where the majority of the comedy characters to which we are exposed are reliant entirely on catchphrases and in-jokes, it is refreshing to see sketch-based comedy which is more heavily focussed on the writing and performance.

This show gave plenty of laughs, so you should definitely check it out!

Episode two is tomorrow (Weds) at 10:35pm on BBC One (NI) – or if that clashes with other shows you need to watch, catch it on the Iplayer any time thereafter!

Woe-is-me Weekend

I always hated routine. I swore down I’d never be one of those “coffee on Wednesday, movies on Friday” kind of people… in fact when I was younger those people irritated me no end because you had to think about what day it was before deciding whether to visit them – and I never remembered that until I was almost at their house… I used to spend my time wishing they would just get a damned life!

I don’t like to think of it as getting old, rather finding a new perspective, but in a phase of my life where so much is taken up by random occurrences and such, it is good to have just one day in the week you can rely on.

Saturday is my comfort blanket amidst the chaos of hospitals, school functions and taxiing people around hither and thither. So seriously, the man who messes with my Saturday…

FEEL MY WRATH!!


It is a simple one, but nevertheless enough of a routine to make Saturday a calming, relaxing day.

I wake naturally, sometime around 9.30 and am breakfasted in time to spend an hour in the company of James Martin before heading into the office to work whilst listening to Rhod Gilbert until lunchtime, at which point I will decide whether this is a work-in-pyjamas day, a couch-potato day or even the kind of day I might decide to do something constructive (although usually avoided on a Saturday!) Mostly it becomes the former since I am in the office already and in a work-minded mood.


Not so impressed this morning, then, to have slept in; especially since I had plans which were to commence the moment Rhod's radio show finished.

Getting finally settled in the office at around 11.30, breakfast in hand, I thought it would be reasonably easy to get back into the flow. Until a phone call at 12.15 from the doctor's surgery asking why the man-person had not arrived for his flu innoculation - oops!! I honestly thought it was next week. No worries, says she... just get here within the next half hour!

So I had to wake him, get him dressed, washed and medicated and out the door pronto.

Seemed pointless, then, to wait until later to do all I wanted, so my leisure day has pretty much passed by in a whirl of shopping, (which I hate!) kids fighting over unimportant nonsense and a moany hub-creature because he had only had about 3 hours sleep when I woke him.

Thankfully my mood has lifted slightly as all is peaceful now - I left two children in town (intentionally, honest... I didn't just forget to bring them home!) the hub is sleeping again and child three is making jewellery to sell at a charity event tomorrow.


Not only that; I have been downloading a lot of images for tomorrow's event (I'm facepainting so need to have a few ideas to work from!) and as Miss Middle has been gathering more pictures for her current drawing fad, every time I download something I get to see the sexy eyes of Chris Corcoran staring back at me. Can't ask for more, really, can you?

Well - obviously, I could ask for a whole lot more, but in terms of rebuilding a destroyed Saturday, it's enough for me!

And some more drawings to look forward to seeing too! She's fab, isn't she!!

See... very easily pleased!!


And since I have mentioned both Miss-Middle's drawings and the fabulous Rhod Gilbert in this one post, I shall give not one, but two pics she drew! I know you are probably tiring of my constant references to her artistic nature, but I'll be honest, I am milking it for all it is worth whilst she isn't making me pay royalties and they are really good! Just don't anyone explain the principle of commissions to her.....

Theatres; Geography; Argh!

Ok, I am going to sound a proper Ranty McRantpants now, but life is a bit that way at the moment!

I’ve found another reason my town is so utterly crap and why moving away is so badly needed… looking around the web for something else, I discovered that the incredibly sexy Ed Byrne is here in town next week… now I am on the mailing list for our theatre precisely so I DON’T miss things like this – yet all they send me is emails begging for frigging money! I’d give them a lot more cash if I didn’t keep hearing about stuff I want to see after I’ve blown out my leisure spend on paying to see shows further away from home! There isn’t even a poster up at the theatre for it… what gives with that?

A few months ago, both Alan Carr and Tim Vine were here yet there was no mention in any of the spammy nonsense they email out; I found out once the tickets were already sold out.

I have already mentioned (many times; I am aware I repeat myself often, it’s the most effective way of having people take notice!) that there is so rarely anything worth seeing here, so why are they not marketing the backside off everything that is? You would expect a comedian like Byrne to have sold-out long before now, even at £20 a ticket (not much for some of you, I know, but that is the most expensive ticket I have seen for our piss-assed little theatre!) but there are still ‘loads’ of seats left according to the dour-faced trout I spoke to yesterday. I have not even seen any advertising for Mark Watson’s show; in fact I would not have even known it was happening were it not for his blog! (Not linking; seriously you should already know your way there by now, I’ve told you often enough and can’t be bothered with typing the code stuff!!) In fact, I was sent a notification through the post couple of weeks ago telling me the time had changed and giving new tickets, surely good marketing would have been to throw a flyer of some sort into the envelopes telling people about upcoming shows of interest. Chances are someone coming to watch MW would be just as interested in Ed Byrne, wouldn’t they?

I’d love to be able to see more here in town. Travelling to see shows is honestly a nightmare – public transport is suckish and expensive and if you choose to drive, you are travelling for an hour before you even feel you are starting the journey. I realised just how cut-off we are geographically when I was researching for the upcoming move. I will need at times to travel to London; in fact I have turned down some amazing opportunities for that very reason over the last few months. From here, it is a drive of almost five hours; impossible to do alone without becoming one of those horror ad poster-faces for motorway services. The places I have looked at moving to in Wales are almost on the same line as we are, yet the journey is only two and a half google-hours. I regularly take trips of up to three hours, so I know that is perfectly within my capabilities.

I do think our theatre is fighting very hard to bring the residents of our town to a higher level, but they really need to learn when to just give people what they want rather than trying to drip-feed culture to a population who are really not interested. They put on some nice ballets, plays, have orchestras and choirs perform; those things are hammered in the press, poster campaigns all over the town but few tickets are sold. This is a mostly working-class town with the ideals and expectations that come of the status. Wages are incredibly low, unemployment high and few have any discernable disposable income so they will not waste any money on going to the theatre for something which does not interest them. People want to laugh, they want to forget their plight for a while and just be entertained, yet our theatre has little hold on that. I remember being at the theatre a couple of years ago (Al Murray – brilliant show!) and overhearing a woman during the interval asking at the ticket desk about a medium they had heard was coming to town. They were told quite categorically they had heard wrong and that there would never be a medium in the theatre. I found this a strange response, so called the next day for more information to be told “mediumship is not considered entertainment”. I find this a funny statement indeed considering the disclaimer legally required for such shows states the complete opposite, but nevertheless whilst I know of many who have tried to put on a show here, all have been turned away; some eventually putting on very successful events in local hotels or the town leisure centre. I don’t know that I would go to such a show myself, but regardless, the people of this town are interested in this type of performance, so why are the theatre not listening and giving what they want?

Here’s another thing:

When I recently visited the theatre of the next town, I was quite surprised by the fact that people were buying drinks at the bar and casually strolling into the auditorium with them. Ours does not allow that, preferring to cram the entire audience into the small foyer where you have to try to drink without elbowing the next person. I thought “wow, what a relaxed theatre this is!” yet on speaking with the staff afterwards they expressed that in actual fact ours was one of very few to have such a rule. And I have to say, I think their rule is losing them some valuable income. I never consider buying a drink at our theatre for a variety of reasons; whilst I can cope with being in a crowd out of doors (like concerts and festivals etc) I really do not deal well with indoor ones, feeling cramped and claustrophobic; I do not relish the idea of trying to drink whilst in such a small space you can barely lift your arm without knocking someone else, theatre drinks are expensive enough and I certainly don’t want to be trying to suck a glass of wine out of my dress; I don’t like to rush a drink, nor leave one unfinished and with such a short space of time, generally only one person working the bar and hundreds of drinks to be poured there is precious little time to drink at leisure before abandoning your efforts to return to your seat. I am sure I can’t be the only person to feel this way, so why do they not realise their sales are not what they should be?


Share with me your own theatre woes; or boast about how great yours is. I don’t really care either way – I have said what I need to say!

Didn’t mean this to be such a whiney post – I’d apologise, but no-one forces you to read, so thank you if you have. If you’ve just skipped to this part, then I feel I should at least reward your scrolling efforts with something worthwhile!

Not related to the post at all, but I watched it, it made me chuckle, so I marked it to include here at some point! The brilliantly funny Isy Suttie....

A Whole World of Strange

I have always been aware of being somewhat quirky, but lately I am wondering if it truly is quirkiness or if I’m not just descending into strangeness!


The hub-creature had a hospital appointment last week, at which I was being taught to give some of his treatment (I guess it’s part of easing the financial burden of the NHS, as the equipment needed we have to buy – and because it’s an invasive treatment, we also have to arrange for clinical waste collections – sidetracking, I know, but it does piss me off somewhat that they can’t even prescribe the stuff we need or do any of the bureaucratic bullshit for us!!) Anyway – the anaesthetist mentioned the treatment could be administered at his knee… I shuddered and felt my toes instinctively curl whilst the hub-person laughed saying “don’t tell her that for God’s sake!”

I don’t know quite when my knee-phobia first started, but I have never thought it that strange. I really cannot go into details, because thinking about it makes me incredibly nauseous but the basic gist is that I can’t bear the thought of touching a knee or having mine touched… or even seeing another person touching their own or someone else’s.
See, writing about it really does make it sound quite strange, but I really don’t think it is.

I mean, there are so many with bizarre phobias that there must be others with the same affliction, surely. Like the time I was chatting with our old dentist and he mentioned his fear of eyeballs; or the ophthalmologist who told me of her great admiration for podiatrists as she couldn’t bear to look at toes… in fact, many of the medical professionals I have encountered in my life have had one part of the body that makes them shudder.

So in explaining the hub’s remark to the doctor, I really expected some sympathy; maybe he’d point out that many people had the same affliction and I could throw an ‘I told you so’ into the mix on learning it wasn’t that obscure… but no!

“I’ve got to admit” he said, “You are a strange one. I’ve never heard of that before.”

He then proceeded to rest his hand on his knee for the rest of the appointment as though it were the most natural thing to do.


Although the catalyst for the current phase of self-analysis, this is not the only thing.

Whilst researching something completely unrelated recently, I landed rather randomly on an old Heat magazine “weird crush” list. This was from years ago, so being as prone to side-tracking as I am I had to look out the most recent; but I found myself looking at most of the guys on the list thinking “Well, why wouldn’t you?”… I honestly cannot think where the weirdness comes in where some of them are concerned – I thought that said more about the people making the list than it did me, but I now start to wonder if I am wrong.

The reason I find myself thinking more about this today is a throwaway remark from the oldest this morning. I booked tickets for her and I to go see Seann Walsh in the next town at the end of the month and went to her room to tell her. She asked where we were sitting and I told her “they have apparently added an extra row especially, so we are right at the very front” [as an aside, this puts us practically in the middle of the stage, which is pretty cool!!]
Her response was “wow – we would be like that far [indicating about four inches] away from him”
Now I have to say, leading from the weird crush list into my next comment I know how this is going to sound, so I do have to make it clear there is no sexual context, it was simply a response to her proximity statement: “We could reach out and stroke his hair”

“Um, ok – a bit weird, mum!”

The evidence really is stacking up quite horrendously against me. I wonder how much credibility I have remaining.

I used to be able to pass for normal.

What the hell happened??

Youtube-ness

Even in the face of current sadness, life has given a few small chuckles today; another classic event from baby; a prime piece of ownage (or is that pwnage?) at my expense from the oldest; a most random text from Miss-middle and some youtube links I have been emailed for possible review which – well, thankfully it’s not the comedians themselves who have requested the reviews, so at least I can happily just not include them without concern that they might be offended by my silence. In fact, there were a couple of links I was sent that did have me wondering if there wasn’t some huge practical joke afoot at my expense… seriously, people, you know how hard I find it to say bad things – and you also know I’m too OCD to start watching a video and not complete it; so to send me off to 45 minutes of utter drime is at best inconsiderate. WTH?? So now the Microsoft Corporation is trying to tell me the word drime doesn’t exist… well I use it – a lot lately! – so clearly it does. In fact, having used it twice now in this very article I think I have illustrated quite clearly its existence, definition and context so screw you Oxford English! But anyway, all videos sent have been viewed and the fact that I am linking to none of them now must tell you something I am sure.

I do feel I need to point out that I am not a sharer of viral videos and as such would rather not be sent footage of cats being – well being cats really – no matter how hard you try with a soundtrack and fancy production techniques; neither am I interested in children being bratty and obnoxious; nor do I care to pass my time watching video game footage with ‘hilarious’ banter attached. But if you have something that truly is funny then please share either here or through email or facebook (or Twitter, I guess… although I still have not gotten around to figuring twitter out yet!)

I would ordinarily feel the need to link to the last thing I viewed, but I ended up following a train of “others like this” that took me to a very strange place indeed so instead something I like to watch from time to time and a song which will now be stuck in your head for the rest of the day:




And if anyone should find the un-bleeped version anywhere, please share! Hate the bleepy bleepness!!

Pushing Through....

I asked recently for some of my friends to share their methods for coping with the funk… and since I now find myself in deeper mire than before I guess it is time I formulate people’s thoughts into a cohesive coping mechanism.


Firstly, I should acknowledge the helpful souls who (rather predictably) offered up such wisdom as: “Man up!” “Stop moaning!” or my favourite “Shut the F*** up!!” These deserve first mention because this is the leaning of those nearest and dearest to me, so whilst not particularly constructive this is the tone of the advice I will mostly end up following.

So thank you friends, family and my closest co-workers; you are a fabulous bunch of people indeed, least of all for actually caring enough to respond to my call.


One friend (one of those irritating people who always completes projects weeks before deadline – you have at least one of those friends yourself I am sure!) told me simply “keep writing”. Reflecting on our youth, she reminded me of the fact that I felt compelled to write back then because I had so much negativity within my soul I needed to get out. I really cannot remember when I last just wrote in that way; possibly during my second pregnancy, but even then not to the extent I had as a teen but it has to make a difference. If nothing else, at least this allows me to process my emotions and make some sort of sense of them; and who knows, maybe there could be some useful gems standing out amidst the inevitable twaddle.


Knowing of my great love for photography a few people suggested heading out with my camera looking for those moments of minute beauty I so love. Unfortunately at the moment getting away from home is not possible… and yes, this is possibly contributing in no small way to the low mood swings but I did get out into the garden for a while last week and have some cracking macro images to show for my efforts. I was also able to get some images to accompany future blog posts which are part written so I am for once ahead of myself… don’t get too used to it though.


It wasn’t really until being sent an email describing one person’s method of dealing with their own clinical depression that I realised I see it in practice on an almost daily basis and have often applauded it without it actually occurring to me that it could help me in any small way. It is a simple task of personification; creating a character of the thing which hits you hardest and dealing with it as a living creature. A very dear friend has an illness which can be severely debilitating at times; this illness is given a human name, a personality and most importantly weaknesses. Through this mechanism my friend is able to keep her poor health from controlling her, as is the person who suggested it.

As stated by my friend in his lengthy email: “I just made up the character of Clint [surname Frown] as a means of coping, but as a creative person I am sure you could make a whole world in which your woes could all live happily together”

Makes me think of the Mr Men stories in a slightly different way!


By far the sagest advice I had came as one would expect from my mother: “avoidance is certainly not the answer”.
She is right, of course, because in order to avoid dealing with the things which are making me feel down I am firstly keeping them in the forefront of my mind throughout. Secondly, whilst I am trying to shut out certain factors, I am closing myself off to a lot of other aspects which could ultimately help with processing my issues such as friends, family members, work and just living my life.

So there; do not ever tell me I don’t listen to you all! I do – well I try to anyway!

And whilst these methods might not be able to help with my current phase of sadness, the next unexplained funk will be far simpler to deal with.








And having talked of sadness, I shall just close with a silent tribute.

A dear friend lost a very close family member recently and whilst it would be glib for me to suggest that I could know the pain she feels, I can certainly imagine a fraction of it; so I close by sending thoughts of love and healing to a family who have already had enough to deal with this year so really did not deserve to be hit with a tragedy right now and by wishing a safe journey to the next world to a wonderfully strong, organised, hard-working, independent young woman whose work in this life was far from finished.

Be at peace.

xx

Ask Rhod Gilbert

BBC 1, Wednesdays 10.45pm

Those who know me will have expected this review long ago, but it has taken many re-writes to make it not seem gushy! Much as I try to remain objective I do feel there is little these guys can do that I would not love so I have watched it over and again trying to bore myself to the point I can find something negative to say; but still I have nothing.

The show has a feel of intimacy to it, as though rather than watching people try to be funny you are just in the pub having a chat with them. With a huge array of panel shows featuring the same faces time and again each fighting for their camera time, this is a refreshing approach. And okay, nothing has really changed since the last series and I am aware I have (quite recently) criticised other shows for this very thing – but much as I hate the cliché thing: if it ain’t broke… blah blah!


This first episode featured guests David Hasseloff, Kimberley Wyatt and Phill Jupitus. I have to admit, having seen Jupitus live a few times I expected more of him than we saw in this programme, but I feel he was very much overshadowed by Hasselhoff! I have never particularly been a fan, even in the days of Knight Rider (Airwolf was more my thing, Michael Knight was far too clean-cut for my liking!) but I have to say I found him highly entertaining through this episode – not enough to persuade me to watch BGT (or X-Factor? – No it’s definitely BGT – see, researched a fact and came right back, I can do it!) but I would no longer turn a show off just because he happened to be on it.

I did notice during the first series that most of the questions posed were repeated from the brilliantly funny Irish comedy "Great Unanswered Questions" but thankfully that seems not to be the case this time around. It is far easier to roll with the jokes when you do not already know the true answer!

Ok, for some the humour might at times be a little puerile, nonsensical and juvenile but to my mind that suits the loose, easy flowing format well. This series is unpretentious and unapologetic, treating everyone with equal contempt regardless of status and as such brings out the best in its guests.


So there you are; another fabulous series! Watch it – many times – it gets funnier I assure you!


Showing Wednesday nights at the bizarre time of 10:45pm and repeated Sundays around midnight – or on the Iplayer at any time of course!


And for no other reason than to show off as usual; another of my baby's drawings!

Fresh Meat

C4, Wednesdays at 10pm


Created by Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong, the writers of (amongst many other credits) Peep Show, this series follows a group of students as they begin university life. From such a strong writing team and with a cast of established performers most people will recognise from other shows, expectations were always going to be high for this offering.

The show has been slated quite horrifically by most, but I doubt those speaking out most loudly against it are amongst the demographic anyway and whilst people are holding such high expectations there is precious little margin for error.

The first episode saw the new students arrive in their shared house, to find the brilliantly dark and sometimes sinister Howard, played by the fantastic Greg McHugh and struggle to fit in with one another.

Ok, the dialogue is stilted in some parts, but in reality this is to be expected anyway from a group of strangers being thrown together as these characters are. The maladroit sentences, often trailing off as the character becomes aware of the awkwardness were well delivered, feeling natural as the viewer cringes with the character rather than at them upon remembering the many times they have said something similar.

I was taken by some of the small observations; when we first meet Howard and he delivers a string of murmurs, having not spoken aloud for a while; the reaction of Josie (Kimberley Nixon) as she and JP (Jack Whitehall) are talking at the bar and he declares with such immense pride his somewhat geeky set of A-levels; Josie’s trip to the fridge to cover her embarrassment as JP makes his official arrival at the house. Whilst many have given the writers unwarranted criticism over contrived dialogue pauses and so on, it seems that details like this have been overlooked with the assumption that writing a script is only about putting words into the actors’ mouths.

Admittedly, this show gives little in the way of hearty belly laughs, but in all fairness I do not think that is the point. There is an overall sense of reality to the characters and the storyline, resulting in a very entertaining comic drama which does not challenge, does not make you have to think and does not insult the audience.

I personally am looking forward to the development of the characters as the series continues and shall be holding overall judgement until having seen a few more episodes.

If you missed episode one, or just wanted to wait and watch it once the hype died down, it is available on the 4od player for a few weeks. Episode two is on Wednesday 28th at 10pm with repeats on Mondays at 11.10pm.

Newsjack

Thursdays at 10:30pm, BBC Radio 4 Extra



Newsjack takes a light, satirical look at the week’s new events through a series of sketches and one-liners.

Just starting its fifth series, this programme shows no sign of pausing for breath: headed this time round by the brilliant Justin Edwards, it is every bit as fast-paced and entertaining as previous offerings.

It helps, of course, that the show does not have a formal writing team; this stops it from feeling tired as can so often happen. I love the magazine feel to the show, reminding me a little (if I can reference without glaringly giving away my age!) of watching KYTV in my youth, although to the “now” generation I guess it is more like a verbal version of Tumblr! I note that this show even holds the attention of my teens; no mean feet indeed, considering they (and most of their age) have horrendously short attention for anything without a visual. This can only serve to reinforce my point that the punchy delivery, quick-fire scripts and dynamic performances really do contribute to a fantastic piece of radio!

As always, you have probably missed the first episode by now but be sure to “tune in” (does anyone need to tune in nowadays?) for the next this week – or, yes you can search the I-player for it!

Andrew Lawrence - What To Do...

...IF YOU ARE NOT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE (Radio 4, Wednesdays at 11pm or on I-player until the following Weds)

I have mentioned this show before: series one was absolutely brilliant and I had been anxiously awaiting series two since I first heard it was being recorded!

Having watched one of Lawrence’ preview shows in the summer, much of the material is familiar to me but in all honesty it really does not matter; with much of his performance being more down to his effortless delivery and general attitude of indifference towards his audience, it doesn’t feel that you are just waiting for the next punchline to arrive. I did note when I reviewed his live show that I found he had developed a slightly darker, edgier tone: happily this has remained for the current series and I am looking forward to seeing how much further he dares push it in the future.

I have said before, though, and will re-iterate… this show needs to be more than thirteen minutes long! Okay, so it will require the writing of much more material, but I am sure that is not beyond the capabilities of a comedian such as Andrew Lawrence!

Sad to see him still referred to through the media as an unknown... I would like to think that the efforts he has put in should have his name imprinted on the minds of most who pretend comedy matters to them by now!

It would be nice to see something a little different from him down the line, although with his current material touring well into the spring of 2012 I doubt he will find the time to do anything else.


Tune in and listen… or I-player it - but be fast because as with all radio shows, there is only server space for one episode at a time and you have already missed a couple!

Knuckling Down

I have always loved the autumn with a passion!

The flourish of colour descending over trees and plants as they present their swansong; outings with excited children collecting conkers, berries and other treasures to clutter the house before spring returns; making jams, chutneys and soups to use up garden stock. Autumn also represents a time for clearance, for reflection; the time for festivals as we celebrate harvests, Samhain and its many variants and most importantly the run-up to Christmas.

From Of the Fun and the Funny

There are so many joys to be had at this time of the year, but by far the best is that the television suddenly remembers its sole purpose in existence is to entertain us.

And so I return to focus. With a sudden influx of comedy worth writing about, I now begin a series of reviews of some of the new season’s offerings. I cannot say in which order they will appear; some are written already, some are words floating in my head, some are little more than an “I really must get around to watching that” but of the many shows on at the moment, either completely new or the return of old favourites, there should be something to suit most who appreciate the value of laughter and the effort put in by those who contribute to the comedy we all love most.

Handcuffed

Having only lived here for two years, I figured it might finally be time to empty those last few boxes from the garage.

I have already talked about the aesthetic nature of Miss-middle but it should be noted that she is also something of a magpie, thus hoards all types of treasures on the basis that they look quite pretty.

So at the bottom of the last box, in the midst of single earrings, paperclips, odd screws and other unwanted trinkets she spotted a pair of ornate keys bound with a red ribbon. I had come across them earlier in the box, but had passed them over in favour of bigger, more useful things and was planning to just tip the remaining contents directly into the bin. Daughter knows me, though and anticipating my next action thrust her hand in the box grabbing up all the shiny objects in one swoop.

“Wow!” says she “these are pretty! What do they open?”

I had no idea, but assumed maybe a jewellery box or something judging by the size and how decorative they were. I told her she could have them and she duly attached them to her phone with the rest of her prettiest possessions.

Slightly embarrassing, then, to climb the stairs later and overhear a conversation between daughter and the hub-creature starting with:
“What are you doing with handcuff keys?”

This chat in the presence of all three children; one fully understanding the connotations, one getting the gist but too embarrassed to let on, the other far to young to understand anything; least of all the need to not discuss it outside the family unit.

So the next day imagine my further embarrassment on hearing baby telling her friends her mummy must have been arrested once because the police had given her handcuff keys!

Losing credibility daily as a mum now: whenever I berate Miss-middle for anything, she points out “Well at least I wouldn’t give a child a set of keys from sexy handcuffs”; the oldest expressed curiosity at firstly where are the handcuffs and secondly how could I not remember owning any and baby still thinks I have a secret past as a master criminal no matter how strongly I protest otherwise!



Lesson for the day: When life draws a halt to your sexual activities through whatever circumstances, remove all evidence whilst you still remember its purpose.



Media? Not especially relevant (although slightly!) the amazing David Bowie singing "Reptile" with Nine Inch Nails

World Cup Rugby

On the rugby world cup….

Being as it is a big deal, I guess I ought at least to acknowledge the event!

Actually, I like to watch the rugby so it is good to have an excuse to sit around watching during the day when I should be doing far more important things!

But this being a feminine(ish) household, don’t expect any relevant punditry! The types of conversations we have do tend to veer around the clothing, players’ physiques and critiques of the fashion choices of the fans – but we are watching the sport too: honest!

So here is what is intriguing us mostly:

• COUTURE: Who the heck decided that the seventies-style tight sleeved t-shirts were appropriate for such top-heavy figures as the generic rugby player? I guess the reasoning is something to do with having the ability to grab at the opponents’ shirts or something, but the look is far from flattering! Baby is redesigning the rugby kits of the entire world as we speak!
• PHYSIQUE: This is quite possibly the only sport (unless you are one of those people who consider wrestling to be a sport rather than ballet for the perpetually unfit) in which the more out of shape you look the better you are considered at your game. Seeing a tall, fairly skinny guy on the pitch at the weekend we all just looked at one another as though to say “that guy is going to be killed in minutes!” Strangely, he wasn't - but there is something quite peculiar about a relatively good-looking slightly gangly figure amidst the more traditionally-shaped players!
• HAIR: Baby’s contribution was this: “They should shave their heads to stop them getting all sweaty in the head – especially that one; he’s far too beardy to play rugby!” She had thought it through though! The man in particular had quite a curly, bushy beard and in her mind the other players could grab it to stop him running. Says a lot for the type of matches she has been exposed to I think that she sees it as a possibility, but anyway I have to say she had a point – and they were all extra sweaty so maybe they should consider it!


The indoor games must be a bizarre experience for the players too. I grew up watching rugby with my dad and saw many games in the snow or in inches of mud which added enough to the atmosphere as a spectator; even more so for the players themselves; so to play completely void of any outdoor elements at all must make the game feel pretty strange.

Miss-middle and baby are both quite interested in playing. I remembered how as teenagers, my best friendling and I were once chatting with our PE teacher (mostly as a means to get out of doing any actual activity!) about how badly we wanted to not be playing cricket and he offered to teach us anything we chose instead … adding that favoured teacher expression “within reason”. I always suspected his next sentence was a lie and who knows I may meet him again one day and ask him, but he told us that in order to teach girls to play rugby required a “special licence” which none of the school staff had; but we could learn football! In reality, actually playing rugby at that time would not have been much fun (far too dirty – and as for all that running around! Ugh!!) and we were perfectly happy with our chosen fielding positions in cricket, passing entire lessons making daisy chains having opted to “go deep” far from anywhere the ball might ever reach but it made for a lively discussion nevertheless. Our request was not entirely unfounded, though; for one thing, there was a second playing field which was only used for rugby so the girls had never even seen it. That hardly seemed fair to us so we wanted to get onto that field too!

And yes, maybe the thought of being tackled to the ground by certain boys fuelled our request a little….


So anyway, that is about all I will say on the subject....



I don’t generally link to the IPlayer because the shows don’t stay on it for long enough – especially radio shows! But you really must listen to this – very funny ‘coverage’ of the rugby from the GLC boys which almost makes us sound like experts on the sport!

Rhys and Eggsy's Goldie Lookin' Cup

Easily Pleased - Or Not

I am not avoiding real work; I just need to clear some of the fluff from my head before I start properly!

And so here I be!


I have been accused before of being one of those people by whom it is impossible to ever feel you are doing right. I think today I see how people think that way – I don’t agree of course, but I understand.

The firstborn was ousted from college at the end of the last school year for non-attendance. In fairness to her, the college is appalling: teachers are allowed to take three week holidays in term-time and not replaced, yet the kids still have to roll up to the lesson to sign in and leave again; there is nowhere they are allowed to just hang out when not in lessons in spite of regular two or three hour timetable gaps; one teacher had her four year old child sitting in on most lessons or would be on the phone checking in with her childminder throughout; after accepting daughter for her first year, they switched some of her subjects without giving her a choice because they decided not to run certain courses... I could go on, but you get the picture; shit college, child doesn’t go, child is kicked out. She is not without ambition right now, though. There is a plan and she has taken action, having enrolled herself into a college far from home next September but in the here and now she is effectively taking an unscheduled gap year.

After having something of a mini-breakdown over the weekend I have been enjoying a rather self-indulgent week of mostly relaxing, a little reshuffle of my office, a day spent hanging out at my old place of work, a day with my mum; just being in the moment for a few days which has really suited me well (for the most part!).

Yesterday I explained to child one that I was not going to be waking her in the mornings, that if she chose to spend her life languishing in bed, it would be only herself to blame if she could not achieve the things she wanted out of life and that whilst I would do all I could to help her with the things she aims to do this year, I would not do anything for her whilst she lays in bed.

So this morning, having had Miss-middle and Baby heading out of the door in peace and calm all week, Child One was out of bed before breakfast and had commandeered the television remote for MTV in favour of the usual more sedate kid shows, created a noisy, chaotic and extremely stressful ante-school atmosphere and has disrupted the entire flow of my own day to the point where I almost want to send her back to bed!

I am used to silence throughout the house during the day, but because her focus right now is her music study I feel surrounded by noise. I cannot put my own music on as it’s too distracting for her and she is in and out of the office every two minutes “can you help?” “how do I?” “what time are you?”

So yes, it is quite possible there is no pleasing me!

Get out of bed ya lazies…. But do it without coming down the stairs and interfering with my life, ok?

That is all... thank you!

Lee Nelson's Well Good Show

I tried to enjoy it; I honestly did.

My regular readers may remember I wrote a while ago about my inability to review something I had not enjoyed (here’s a link back to it, for those who do not remember). I do worry that giving only glowing reviews has an effect on my integrity, making me seem at best sycophantic, but having been brought up with the “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing” attitude I find it difficult. That said, I did promise a concerted effort, so here goes!

Having been made to endure a couple of episodes of the previous series of this show, I was fully aware what to expect. Little surprise, then to see this new series follows the exact same pattern with nothing new or particularly creative added.

Obviously, I am fully aware that Nelson is purely a character and can accept that as such his attitudes and opinions are supposed to be exaggerated and affected, but I still see nothing funny in the belittling and humiliation of audience members we see in this programme.

It is a real shame, because as a character, Nelson works; Simon Brodkin’s appearances on Al Murray’s ITV series, “Multiple Personality Disorder” always had me laughing but I just find nothing in the current format worth even raising a smile.

Granted, he has great pace and energy which he maintains throughout, but this is misdirected into cruel taunts and jibes. Again, I know the comments are those of the character rather than the comedian, but still a constant flow of taunts shows little of the intelligence and writing skill of someone who has created such a potentially fantastic character.

Having grown up in the era of only one television per household, I spent much of my youth being forced to watch television comedy I really did not want to. Often, though, there would be a point during the show at which I would release a little smirk or even a chuckle in spite of myself. That, to me, is wherein the best comedy lies: something which can make its audience laugh even when they really do not want to. We have all had that moment I am sure; sitting in traffic with the window down, radio on and something is said which makes you compulsively laugh aloud to meet the confused stares of pedestrians or fellow slaves to the transport system. Those moments where you have no control of the volume or style of your laugh, they are when you know something is truly funny.

So stoically sitting to watch this programme, with my seventeen year old screeching hysterically at every last word I waited for that moment…. I am not sure how long one should ordinarily wait, but the show is a half hour long and having watched it through twice now (because I am nothing if not thorough!) I am still waiting…

Episode one is on the I-player until the end of October if you are so inclined. Next new episode is 22:30 on 1st September. If you enjoyed anything about the last series, then I guess you will equally like this one since it is a carbon print.

In the mean time, though, I have trawled around You-tube and found this for you; to my mind far more worthy of your precious time!

Judgement Day: GCSE Results

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS LITTLE BEYOND THE MUNDANITY OF FAMILY LIFE SUCH AS IT IS SO PLEASE GRAB A HOLD OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND LOWER THEM SOMEWHAT - OR AWAIT THE NEXT POST - EITHER WAY AT THE VERY LEAST CHECK OUT MY BABY'S DRAWING AT THE END OF THE POST!

I often think I am more nervous for my children than they are themselves! Results day is certainly one such occasion! Last week I attended college with my oldest for her AS Level results; today, the two GCSE’s Miss Middle has taken this year. I don’t like to harp on about the “old days” too much as it serves as a grim reminder of just how horrendously old I am, but in my day they mailed you the result. This whole pomp and performance of trekking across town for an A4 sheet of paper with a couple of letters on is ridiculous!

She didn’t do brilliantly as it happens, but to be honest given that her attendance for the last year barely made 60% we were not too surprised. In fact, for someone who has missed so much teaching she did remarkably well, but she is not in a position to see that right now.

Regardless, I am proud of what she has achieved this year. All my children cope remarkably well given the struggles we have in this household. There is little about our lives which could be construed as ‘normal’ and they just take all that is thrown at them fully in their strides. Her results may not have been great, but she attended all the exams and worked mighty hard to achieve what she has; and whilst one result stands, the other is subject to the results of further GCSE’s next year so it is possible to crank that one up a couple of grades with the support of all around her!

I am fully aware how menial, mundane, dire etc this news is but I hope to follow with something more interesting/relevant.

In the meantime, because I am super-proud of her, here is a pic drawn by my Miss Middle... remember she’s only 15; when her style matures she is gonna be a fabulous artist, but for now busies herself drawing the rich and famous (and her not-so-rich-or-famous friends and family!)

The fabulous Mark Watson -- Have you still not read his blog? Really, he should give me props for plugging it so often! -- as drawn by my biggest little girl (or littlest big girl; it's all about perspective!)

Playing Catch-up!

I know, I have been remiss, neglectful, yada-yada.

In all fairness during my sabbatical I have managed to complete a couple of scripting projects but that matters little to my readers here I know, so I am sorry. Not much more I can do than apologise really. I guess if I cared enough I could track down each and every one of my regular readers and present you all with an individually hand-made gift of epic proportions, but all that would do is slow down the writing process further – so just be grateful I am back!

So sadly for you all, this is destined to be one of those irritating catch-up posts filling in all the minutia of my life since my last post!

Just how have I filled my time?

Well, mostly I have been in a funk… and sadly I am not a person to embrace a state of depression with the spirit of “that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”; I am not a person who will tell the world “I am feeling low, cheer me up”; I cannot push through it and write regardless: my mechanism? I hide. So that is where I have been… hiding from all who could possibly help drag me out of the mist and ignoring all but the most important messages from the outside world.

I know there are a few writers looking in here once in a while, share your coping mechanisms please! How do you still write even when the world seems so dark? Any tips but “Man Up”….


The day-to-day plods on as normal really. Kids are home for the hols. The oldest has changed career plan again, but I am confident this new direction is altogether more achievable, realistic and most importantly more her than previous plans. Miss-middle collects her first set of GCSE results tomorrow. Bizarre that they have to endure the results process twice nowadays, but I guess it means they don’t have to worry about a heap of exams crammed into a few weeks; not that it did us “older folk” any harm, did it?! She is filled with plans for the future and very much looking forward to what awaits us!

The hub-creature is still hanging in there. Not much to report really, other than that he seems able to do less and less each day. Part of me wishes they’d hurry and give him a date for his operation, but I don’t dare chase them up in case the date they give confirms what I already suspect…

With all that in mind, plans are still going ahead for the big move! I thought I had found my location; beautiful scenery, an amazing house with some land and fabulous mountain views and great prices on commercial property. I found I could afford to buy both the house and a little shop for the price my current smaller house is valued at which was quite an exciting prospect.

I had forgotten about this, but I once visited a psychic who told me I “Over-researched” things… maybe that is what I have done now! Funny how stuff just throws itself to the front of your mind once in a while isn’t it?
Anyway, being a little cynical of the relatively inexpensive property prices I approached an old school friend who lives in Wales for information on the town itself, only to be told that was an area to avoid… I am grateful for the information, that was precisely why I asked him – it’s a big deal for me and I didn’t want to be stuck once I arrived finding it wasn’t a nice place to live but that I could not sell the house on; I had focussed much of my research of schools and colleges in that area though, so have now had to backtrack slightly!
I have since looked at things slightly differently (with his help, as he encouraged me to think a little deeper about what I actually want rather than just looking at available properties) and have decided that region had little of what I actually want anyway. Google streetview is very much my best friend right now, as I trawl the streets of prospective home-towns seeking out places with all the features I need. I have narrowed my search to two possibilities, but have not yet approached the Dark Destroyer of Dreams with them; maybe I am too scared he might tell me they are not great either! Regardless, little is worse than this town right now so I am confident any move will be a positive one!

So that’s the condensed version of where I am at right now – bet you are mighty glad I kept it concise aren’t you?!

Thank you all for sticking with me it does mean a lot that I can just pickup again and know that you have waited for me!

I don’t know why, but I always feel I should have a piece of media, either video or photograph, to complete a post…

What feels relevant now?

Crank it up loud, cycle on your bicycle and leave the misery behind!