"Wow, you are so lucky! It must be great to be your own boss!"
Judging by a person's reaction to that sentence, it is perfectly clear whether they have ever been self-employed or not.
It's something I hear time and again, and yes, for the most part being my own boss is pretty cool.
But the flipside to that is having me as a boss.
And here is what I can tell you about my boss:
She is a major punk-assed BITCH.
She is overly critical of my work whilst always finding the positive in others'; she punishes me excessively for the most minor hiccups; she stands in the way of me doing constructive tasks, insisting instead that I do things far beyond my capability; she sets me up to take on far more jobs than I can do in the time I have... I could go on, but I am sure you get the message.
I have just returned to work today from a depression break of... well, far too long. I shan't go into it in any depth, cos: Hello? Comedy! But I haven't coped well for pretty much the whole year.
And you won't get that from looking at my public feeds because it is very easy to hide depression under a couple of witty tweets each day, but I have been struggling. Don't feel sorry for me, though. There were decisions to be made long ago and I put off making them, which leaves me in a life which although it makes me desperately unhappy I did choose, so it's up to me to deal with it.
But I haven't been.
From now, though, I am.
But here is where I get back to my bitch of a boss, because day one after a five month haitus and here I am presented with a to-do list of epic proportions with people who have waited far longer than they should have for certain things, a heap of posts for you and at least three all-new 'start from scratch' projects which are very exciting and could lead to great things... but which are scary, difficult and possiibly a little beyond me. And she has very high expectations on all fronts.
So what of this space?
Well, there are a billion-and-ten articles part written for you. And a couple I have written for other comedy blogs... but you'll have to wait. I have set out so many times thinking to complete a batch to post for you and failed miserably, so my sole aim for today is post this. You know, just to remind you all I am still here.
And still laughing.
Because some days it feels that laughter is all you have.
On which note, I am currently working in the garden (because: Self-employed!) in my bikini (that visual is free, for which you are absolutely welcome!) and seem to have chosen a spider nest in which to site my lounger as I now have no fewer than seven... yes, SEVEN... tiny spiders on one part of my body or another.
But before you laugh at my misfortune, just take a look at where you are working right now. Are there birds and butterflies? Trees? Flowers? Fresh air? SUNSHINE?
Hmmm....
*sneezes* *rubs eyes*
