Richard Herring: Talking Cock 2

I am doing things a bit back-asswards, as there are older things you are waiting on… but there is something I want to post whilst it is relevant.


In the interest of helping someone out, I want you all to take note of this morning's request from Richard Herring… fast becoming a favourite of mine (I’ll get to that later - I think!)

In gathering material for his upcoming show, Richard Herring is asking people to complete a penis-based questionnaire – links here:

BOYS
GIRLS

It is only a few questions and could *probably* take just a few minutes – however, I spent almost an hour filling mine out – well, once you start thinking about them…

So anyway, take a look and fill out the relevant one for your gender. It’s purely anonymous, so you can be as honest and open as you choose.


It is also worth noting Richard’s further plans for the show:

Should you donate £15 or more to SCOPE through his Justgiving page, your name will be put on the programme and you will get a signed copy.

JUSTGIVING


I do feel I need to explain, since I referenced in my recent review that I didn’t really like him for a long time…

I am sure I’m not the only person to be like this, but when there is a double act I particularly like, I will always harbour a preference for one half of the partnership… not just in comedy, either – George Michael was more good-looking than Andrew Ridgeley, Luke Goss was far more humble and less egotistical than brother Matt, Paul Simon was a little more normal than Art Garfunkel… okay, pushing it now, but you must kind of get my point…

And so it was that during my formative comedy years I was always destined to marry Rob Newman, have Stewart Lee as my ‘bit on the side’ and take civilised afternoon teas with Hugh Laurie… and thus my opinions of their ‘other halves’ became that they were being carried by ‘my boys’ and as such were not worthy of my following in their career with any sort of interest once the partnership disolved.

And so it went that I mostly ignored anything Richard Herring put out for many years. And I am sure he stings a little at the thought of that – I mean, how much more he could have achieved were he only worthy of my interest….

Anyway – I continued happily ignoring his existence, not watching episodes of HIGNFY or anything else if he happened to be on it because if I am being wholly honest, I felt he was too self-righteous, that he suffered some sort of superiority complex… and maybe he did for a time, but to be honest, I never really gave him chance to prove otherwise. Until, that is, I happened to catch a clip of HIGNFY during the Hitler Moustache era. And I listened to what he had to say, decided maybe he wasn’t that bad, but continued to ignore him…

Then there was a furore… and I love a good furore! This was over the Christ on a Bike show, the DVD of which was released last year. I was looking for something else on Youtube, found a really funny heckle clip featuring Herring (which I’ll share here, cos I always hate when someone feels the need to ruin a show, so it’s fabulous when the act wins on such a level as this!) and detoured by some Christ on a Bike clips including some very vociferous activists calling for the show to be banned and Herring to be sent to the tower, or crucified or somesuch…

Now, whilst my beliefs aren’t strictly conformist of the church, I do consider myself to be a Christian at heart. As such, I feel hugely pissed of when people make protests in the name of my God – because quite frankly, my God can speak for himself, and if He feels there is retribution needed He will deal a huge pile of Karma on that person… End of. There is no need for people to take themselves to the street doing ‘the God’s work’ whichever their God happens to be. That’s kind of the point of being a God, isn’t it? [DIGRESSING>>> BACK TO POINT!!]

So I watched the clips from the show to see what exactly they were complaining about – and one thing seemed glaringly obvious to me:

In order to write the show, Herring had clearly read a lot of the bible, had studied it and understood the content and formulated sensible, cohesive arguments, backing up those points with DIRECT quotes… those protesting had not watched his show, nor read transcripts, nor spoken with him about it… they simply responded because *SHOCKER* he didn’t believe the same things they did. Big surprise for you all – not everyone has to agree with you!!

And so began my full turn-around as I actually started to listen to what he had to say – to the point where I now find myself very much a fan of his work, trying my best to consume all I have missed during my phase of bigotry.

And should he look in (AS IF!!) I am sorry, Mr Herring: for all the times I derided anything you were in, anything someone quoted that you had said; for deliberately missing episodes of shows I liked just because you were in them; for denying your very existence (hold on a minute….)

I am truly sorry. And should you find yourselves in a position to attend one of his shows, do. I have watched a billion* Youtube clips and he is utterly brilliant in them all. *actual figures may be significantly lower than a billion


Buy the DVD and see for yourself:



The heckle clip as promised:




And if you haven’t felt tempted after the questionnaire and the Youtubeness and the dvd, then check out Richard’s website here:

http://www.richardherring.com/

Academies: They Aren't All Bad

You will know I am not one to get onto a mildly political rant… but just for today…

I am getting horrendously pissed off by (amongst other things) the constant bashing of Academy schooling. There are streams of reports taking the ‘academies are failing our children’ stance yet I have seen nothing written of schools which are actually the better for it.

So for a moment, I want to talk about my own experiences of the academy system… nothing funny/entertaining in this… but if you prefer your arguments to have balance, then maybe you will read on!


Baby’s school announced they were contemplating ‘going academy’ and progressed to send home swathes of information explaining what this meant for the school, how the parents (and more importantly children) were going to be affected by the decision and dates of the many consultation events which were going to be held.

Now I am not an idiot (no, really, I am NOT!!) – I know if they want to give a persuasive argument what is sent home will only be positive so being a researcher… well, I researched… and read page after page of negativity deriding the move. I could see nothing before me which made me think this would be a good move; yet the school were promising rainbows and bunnies … what to do?

The entire process felt much like the run-up to an election: the school promising everything we could ask for whilst we, the voters, listened carefully thinking all the while “they probably won’t do that, but wouldn’t it be great if they did?!”

So after many well-planned consultations (some during the day, some evenings- even a couple at the weekends, so the only excuse for non-attendance would be your own apathy) a vote was taken. Having weighed up the evidence against such a move and heard the promises of the staff to the contrary, I voted YES.

As did the majority of others.

But having been shown accounts, sample academy accounts, seen school meal menu plans and outlines of new buildings which would be affordable only under academy status, it seemed the logical move.

And it has been.

• In complete contrast to a recent article by Jamie Oliver regarding academy meals being dire, ours are great. Good, wholesome ingredients are delivered fresh each day from local suppliers and turned into fantastic meals the kids love.
• Sports provision has improved greatly with the main focus being on outdoor activity, raincoats now being part of the PE kit and ‘manning up’ generally encouraged.
• A new library has been built and stocked with far more books than previously
• Music is featured more heavily on the curriculum, giving scope for children to develop more of an interest
• The school facilities have been fully renovated; toilet blocks, access ramps etc have all been developed beyond the crude stages afforded under previous funding

These are just a few of the changes to the school itself. In real terms though we have a school filled with happy children, confident in their surroundings, well-supported by a staff team who work together brilliantly. High standards are achieved by all, with most parents I speak with telling me their own children have increased greatly in achievement level since the changeover. The children take part in many enrichment activities and trips which have relevance to their learning as well as being fun, be it as simple as a walk into the town as part of an orienteering session, a two-hour coach ride for a city experience or a week in a foreign country (although I couldn’t bring myself to set my nine-year-old off on that particular journey!). Staffing levels are hugely increased, also. Whilst class sizes themselves remain at previous levels, there are more LSA’s, giving greater support to the teachers and helping pupils get the attention they might need.

All round, it has been the most positive move you can think of.

So don’t immediately knock the academies… they will work as well as those running them so should each be judged on their own merit.

Insomniac Revelations

Not slept at all… which I am sure bodes well for anything I try to write, but what can I say…

In truth, it has been a night of revelation and self-discovery as I lay pondering over life and its many sufferings. I should say that I do very much believe in the power of a shuffled media player to bring up the very messages we need to hear at certain times - which might sound silly to some of you, but I truly have all too often noticed the relevence. Given that I am working on my netbook right now, I have a very limited selection though… the only music on this computer is the stray folder I found a few days ago containing a handful of queen tracks so once I caught up with my weekend radio (had to listen to the Rhod Gilbert show again, cos the boys were hilarious this week and Gareth Gwynn’s show is on far too early on a Sunday for any normal person to listen live!) I set the twenty or so Queen tracks to play on shuffle… and as I pondered over the greater points of life, I couldn’t help but notice the order in which they appeared…

As I started to think about everything that is wrong with my life right now, I heard ‘Stone Cold Crazy’ – a statement which does very well describe my current state of mind!
I moved to writing something about the hub-creature and about how there are days the end seems so close when within an hour or so it can suddenly seem for a moment that everything could just be okay… for a moment… and as I paused in my writing to think on the next point referencing his recent comment that he was just “waiting to die”, I realised the soundtrack to these thoughts was ‘Hammer to Fall’ – I’ll not elaborate on the poignancy but to highlight the next track to flow by; ‘The Night Comes Down’…

Then as I wrote out all the heartbreak, I found myself making some huge decisions regarding work etc (I mean HUGE! I’d tell you all about it, but this post will be dull enough, so I don’t think I will!) … to the tune of ‘Keep Yourself Alive’.

And as I closed my book on all the thoughts I had captured throughout the long night, I was faced with this from Doing All Right:

‘Yesterday my life was in ruin, today I know what I am doing. I’ve got a feeling I should be doing alright’

So today begins a new chapter… although I am unsure as to just how productive I will actually be considering I am now starting to feel sleepy yet it is time to wake baby for school… but such is life I guess!

From the Brains of the Undead

Just a quick how-do so you all know I am still around.


The funk hit me for a time, which has been replaced with some sort of viral sinussy thing which really sucks!


Just so you know I am doing things:

A couple of reviews in progress, some radio stuff, some TV stuff and the BRILLIANT Charlie Baker/Josh Widdicombe combo I was lucky enough to get to last week. (ok, maybe a bit of a spoiler there, but can't be helped!)

I have been working on a pretty exciting A-Z type project, currently writing the bits I want to write in a haphazard manner so will upload those once they start to resemble the alphabet! The facebook requests will be combined within this so if there are any more you want, get in touch (facebook, twitter, email all linked to the right!)


What else? Loads... I'll get back to this at some point!

Oh yeah, I have translated a bit more of the Elis James C2 thingy:

HERE


Just lately I have been re-introduced to the wonder that is Boothby Graffoe... can't remember my earliest 'encounter' with him, but this is the oldest clip I can find online. He is one of few comedians who has changed absolutely nothing about his comedy over the years and yet his new material is as fresh as ever! (Should save that for his entry in the A-Z I guess, but I gotta sell you all on him cos he's fab!)




Buy his new album here:


Absolutely CRACKING songs!!

That is all...

Wasting Time

There are times when even the most dedicated procrastinator needs a little help to find something mindless with which to fill their time.

And it is in that spirit I provide this list of the ten most time-devouring websites I could find in order to help you all wile away the hours you should be spending doing housework, writing essays, practicing musical instruments, cleaning a house… whatever you thought about doing before clicking the link you did to land right here.

I am listing them in order of the amount of time I could conceivably spend waste on each site. Click the images to go direct to the sites:

Ok, once you have visited this site once, you will not need to revisit... but it's a bit of pointless unnecessary fun so well worth a look! Enjoy!

If you want to get self-righteous for a moment, what better way than to mock the grammar of others. This “blog” is a great place to do just that - and links to other similarly sanctimonous places.

Some great number games and general maths-based silliness.

This site is exactly what it claims to be; a simple collection of useless information. Admittedly there is a finite amount to read, but still it is a great way to kill a few hours.

A brilliant source of word-play, anagrams, tongue-twisters, puzzles and more.

Jokes, funny pictures and some little moments of inspiration. A real hotchpotch of time-wastery if ever I saw it.

A brilliant mix of both humorous and plain interesting images. Nothing clever, no reading to be done – just a collection of great pictures to browse through.

This is brilliant for bookheads such as myself. You do need to sign up for the site, but it is free to do so and as with most sites nowadays will work off your facebook profile so is a fairly simple process. Once your account is set up, though, you can browse reading lists, get suggestions of books to read, take quizzes and much more besides.

Okay – this won’t interest you much if you are not that interested in learning a new language – or rejuvenating an old one, but this site is a huge consumer of time. There are sections in most languages and the collection of lessons is growing daily - I do constantly find myself thinking ‘just one more set of words’ and looking at my watch to find another hour has passed.

As a lover of the weird and wonderful, this site has plenty to keep me interested. Even to just look through the daily news round-up will send me on enough of a tangent to pass a few hours without even thinking about back-tracking on the existing content.

So there you go; hopefully you should find enough there to keep you going for a while!


Still got time to spare?


Buy this:



Or watch this:



Or the full blog playlist:



The Committee Meeting Playlist:



Or check out the sound files:

C2: Elis James with Daniel Glyn

Those amongst my readership lucky enough to know me in the real world will be fully aware I have been dysgu Cymraeg for, ooh… around six months or so… therefore my grasp is not brilliant. To practice, though, I watch a lot of S4C and occasionally listen to BBC Radio Cymru … and for the most part can just about tread water – so only an idiot would attempt to translate two hours of radio under those circumstances, eh? Ummm… yea!

But bear with me, because I know some of my regular readers in particular will appreciate my efforts here.


One of the shows I love to listen to is that of Daniel Glyn, part of the C2 programming aimed at the younger listeners – because of my youthfulness, I guess…

And this week his guest was the absolutely fantastic (and this is where it starts to get relevant to you people!): Elis James.



And since I know some of you will be interested in what he had to say, I figured I’d try somehow to make it available to you all.


The sound files are here for you to listen to – and to be honest, if you find yourself with some time to spare, you may want to listen even if you don’t speak Welsh, just for the little English moments within – and for Elis’ brilliant David Bowie impersonation! I haven’t joined the files together, because I figure it will be easier to digest in smaller pieces – and it makes the upload faster, too, so it’s better all round!


I will paraphrase rather than a direct transcript… no surprise there, as my Welsh is obviously poor… but hopefully it should give enough for those of you with no knowledge of the language to catch on to the little snips of English scattered throughout.

If there are any proper Welsh speakers looking in and I have made huge, glaring mistakes (which I possibly will!) please get in touch and let me know!

In the interest of getting this posted for you to listen to the files and given that this is a huge task, I will be posting outlines for now and filling in details as I complete. Updates will be announced as and when!





Part one (18mins):

The discussion started, rather predictably with Elis’ current tour “Do You Remember the First Time?” which leads into a conversation about the Glee Club in Cardiff, as Elis remembers struggling to get a gig there early on in his career.

Daniel suggests that Facebook/Twitter make it easier to get instant feedback on new material rather than waiting until you have an audience for it and there is a little chatter about people complaining that material used in live shows is often the same as that on TV appearances. (as an aside, I never understand this complaint as it is impossible to expect new stuff absolutely every time we see someone on the television – in fact, I have seen many different versions of the Rhod Gilbert luggage sketch and every one makes me laugh as though I am hearing it for the first time! Some people expect too much!)

With some discussion as to whether Elis always wanted to be a comedian, which leads to discussion over how Elis got started in the industry, having thought there were only seven other comedians so it would be easy for him…

The conversation moves onto other jobs – Elis has a History degree and talks a little about other jobs he had before he started to get paid properly for gigs.




Part two (7 mins):

The pair chat about the music played and recording tunes off the radio as a youngster.

A listener messages via FB telling Elis he’s ‘fab’ (a little Cymraeg joke here, as she says “Mae’n fab” – which in literal translation means ‘there is the son’ hence you will hear a rather cute little “Hi mam!” from Elis! – I did tell you it was worth listening for the English moments!)

Elis talks about how his management company set up corporate gigs for him. There was a recent one for the Growers’ Association which went really badly – only ten minutes to talk so there isn’t a lot of time to get in the flow and it’s poorly paid.

A discussion on Elis’ time as a warm-up for Deal or No Deal and Buzzcocks which is quite easy to follow to be honest!




Part three (10 mins):

The pair chat about Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci, first kisses and a little about Isy (of course!) and Elis reveals how incredibly busy he is right now having been preparing his Edinburgh show and recording for radio alongside his current standup commitments both within his tour and other gigs.





Part four (8 mins):

A little discussion on panel show appearances: 8 Out of 10 Cats, Chris Addison’s Show and Tell, a chat about why he hasn’t been on Mock the Week, his first experience at Up the Creek and the Montreal and Melbourne festivals.




Part five (10 mins):

A little about the comedians Elis likes to watch, how dysfunctional comedians can be and stealing other people’s jokes with a little about his brilliant sketches with Isy on Hwb.




Part six (4 mins):

A discussion about this years’ Edinburgh Festival at which Elis is doing some Committee meetings with the incredibly sexy Chris Corcoran* (His words, not mine... possibly!) and some solo shows. They also had a quick chat about Elis’ appearance on the Rob Brydon show…


And there you are:

Check back for updates when I get around to a more complete write-up – but to be honest, there is enough English scattered within that you should be able to get the gist from what I have provided…


Since it was mentioned early on in the interview, here is a snip of Elis' fantastic ‘Paintballio’ routine:




And because it was played on the show and it’s a tune I really like:

Richard Herring’s Objective

I know this is old, but it’s being repeated right now on R4 so that makes it completely relevant!

Besides, I think when this was around before I was far too deeply in a state of shallow pretentiousness to appreciate what Herring has to offer.


The premise of this show is that Richard Herring is claiming back things which have acquired a bad name over time, discussing why they became icons of negativity and how we can once again make them popular.

There have been two series thus far and they are currently being repeated in a somewhat hotch-potch fashion on a Tuesday evening at 11pm.

This is really worth a listen. I have to say, I feel somewhat cheated of the comic genius of Herring having wasted so many years with an irrational, unqualified dislike of him but I am catching up gradually and very much liking what I hear.

In the current episode which you will find on the Iplayer, the point for discussion was the hoodie. It will surprise no-one that the conversation ridicules the notion that hooded tops are worn only by the young and the idea that anyone wearing one is automatically pre-disposed to cause trouble whilst also pointing out the irony of hoodies being sold in the very places which were first to ban them. Very funny as well as making us stop and think about our own prejudices.

Catch the current ep here: Richard Herring's Objective
Or tune in to BBC Radio Four next Tuesday for the discussion on the St George Flag.