Some Material Writes Itself...

News: Magic Penis Killing

I am sure that everyone with internet access has by now seen this story, but it doesn't make it any less funny!

The gist, for those too lazy to click the link and read for themselves is that an African pastor named Albert Malwane was suspected by members of his village to be using an enchanted penis to woo the ladies, so they killed him!

I shall ignore the fact that these people believe in magic, curses, enchantment etc because this is the norm for many such cultures and in reality are no more bizarre than some of the beliefs held by people in the Western world (indeed, my own belief system could be deemed quite wacky by some!)

The bare facts, then:

Pastor gets down and dirty with a few women from the village who claim to have been enchanted so he is dragged from his home and set alight.

This in itself is extreme behaviour and not in the least funny….

But – you have to wonder at the women concerned. If they really believed they were bewitched, would they not have mentioned it to someone? Or at least warned the other women?

Seems far more likely to me that someone’s husband overheard a conversation:

“Well, what was he like then?”
”You know, he was simply magical, I felt as though I were under a spell!”

Husband tells his friends:

“The women are all bewitched, we must stop him!”

“How is he casting his spell over them?”

“With his penis of course!”

“Oookay….”

“Yes, his enchanted… um… invisible penis!”

But it doesn’t even stop there.

The villagers also claim the pastor’s wife (yes, he was married!) was able to transform herself into a SNAIL and “terrorise” the neighbourhood…. You know, like one of those vicious killer snails you hear so many horror stories about! I would have thought the ability to take on the form of an animal could be quite useful; but a snail? What would she have achieved in that state?

And so as to lay the entire thing to rest; showing the villagers’ actions were completely unfounded; this from the family of the deceased:

“Actually it’s fine, because at the funeral we released a curse on them all!”