When choosing one of my children to accompany me on a major crime spree, I must remember not to choose the eight-year-old!
We went to a nearby town this morning to drop miss-middle at her work experience placement and as baby needed a party gift for this afternoon decided to park up and check out the shops whilst there. I only had notes in my purse and did not want to be asking the people around me for change, so made the decision to wing it and hope not to get a ticket for the short time I was to be there.
The police station being close by means there are always a couple of police cars parked up, but baby was worried this meant I would be arrested for not paying a parking fee. So for the entire fifteen minutes we were in town she kept saying “I’m scared, mum, what if the police are still there?” “If the police take you away, who will drive me home?” – The Lord only knows what the people around us must have thought I’d been up to!!
Fortunately, having spent the best part of fourteen years covering up the embarrassing things my kids say and do little fazes me nowadays. So I calmly set about telling her in a voice loud enough that all around could hear that the police were too busy dealing with people who had done something wrong and that she really shouldn’t be scared of them at all.
Seemed to work – for a while…..
Until we head back to the car park, and baby calls out “Oh no, the police are still here, I’m scared mum! Quick, let’s run to the car!”
Two seniors walking a short way ahead of us shot a look in our direction, scowling disapproval at me and an offering of sympathy to baby. I half expected them to stop me and search my bags or something, demanding that baby be taken into the care of social services, but thankfully they opted for the British way of pretending they’d seen and heard nothing, so all was well!
So when I do decide I have had enough of conformity and opt for a life of crime, baby shall be staying at home where she can do nothing to scupper my efforts!
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