Firstly, I should acknowledge the helpful souls who (rather predictably) offered up such wisdom as: “Man up!” “Stop moaning!” or my favourite “Shut the F*** up!!” These deserve first mention because this is the leaning of those nearest and dearest to me, so whilst not particularly constructive this is the tone of the advice I will mostly end up following.
So thank you friends, family and my closest co-workers; you are a fabulous bunch of people indeed, least of all for actually caring enough to respond to my call.
One friend (one of those irritating people who always completes projects weeks before deadline – you have at least one of those friends yourself I am sure!) told me simply “keep writing”. Reflecting on our youth, she reminded me of the fact that I felt compelled to write back then because I had so much negativity within my soul I needed to get out. I really cannot remember when I last just wrote in that way; possibly during my second pregnancy, but even then not to the extent I had as a teen but it has to make a difference. If nothing else, at least this allows me to process my emotions and make some sort of sense of them; and who knows, maybe there could be some useful gems standing out amidst the inevitable twaddle.
Knowing of my great love for photography a few people suggested heading out with my camera looking for those moments of minute beauty I so love. Unfortunately at the moment getting away from home is not possible… and yes, this is possibly contributing in no small way to the low mood swings but I did get out into the garden for a while last week and have some cracking macro images to show for my efforts. I was also able to get some images to accompany future blog posts which are part written so I am for once ahead of myself… don’t get too used to it though.
It wasn’t really until being sent an email describing one person’s method of dealing with their own clinical depression that I realised I see it in practice on an almost daily basis and have often applauded it without it actually occurring to me that it could help me in any small way. It is a simple task of personification; creating a character of the thing which hits you hardest and dealing with it as a living creature. A very dear friend has an illness which can be severely debilitating at times; this illness is given a human name, a personality and most importantly weaknesses. Through this mechanism my friend is able to keep her poor health from controlling her, as is the person who suggested it.
As stated by my friend in his lengthy email: “I just made up the character of Clint [surname Frown] as a means of coping, but as a creative person I am sure you could make a whole world in which your woes could all live happily together”
Makes me think of the Mr Men stories in a slightly different way!
By far the sagest advice I had came as one would expect from my mother: “avoidance is certainly not the answer”.
She is right, of course, because in order to avoid dealing with the things which are making me feel down I am firstly keeping them in the forefront of my mind throughout. Secondly, whilst I am trying to shut out certain factors, I am closing myself off to a lot of other aspects which could ultimately help with processing my issues such as friends, family members, work and just living my life.
So there; do not ever tell me I don’t listen to you all! I do – well I try to anyway!
And whilst these methods might not be able to help with my current phase of sadness, the next unexplained funk will be far simpler to deal with.
And having talked of sadness, I shall just close with a silent tribute.
A dear friend lost a very close family member recently and whilst it would be glib for me to suggest that I could know the pain she feels, I can certainly imagine a fraction of it; so I close by sending thoughts of love and healing to a family who have already had enough to deal with this year so really did not deserve to be hit with a tragedy right now and by wishing a safe journey to the next world to a wonderfully strong, organised, hard-working, independent young woman whose work in this life was far from finished.
Be at peace.
xx
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