The hub-creature had a hospital appointment last week, at which I was being taught to give some of his treatment (I guess it’s part of easing the financial burden of the NHS, as the equipment needed we have to buy – and because it’s an invasive treatment, we also have to arrange for clinical waste collections – sidetracking, I know, but it does piss me off somewhat that they can’t even prescribe the stuff we need or do any of the bureaucratic bullshit for us!!) Anyway – the anaesthetist mentioned the treatment could be administered at his knee… I shuddered and felt my toes instinctively curl whilst the hub-person laughed saying “don’t tell her that for God’s sake!”
I don’t know quite when my knee-phobia first started, but I have never thought it that strange. I really cannot go into details, because thinking about it makes me incredibly nauseous but the basic gist is that I can’t bear the thought of touching a knee or having mine touched… or even seeing another person touching their own or someone else’s.
See, writing about it really does make it sound quite strange, but I really don’t think it is.
I mean, there are so many with bizarre phobias that there must be others with the same affliction, surely. Like the time I was chatting with our old dentist and he mentioned his fear of eyeballs; or the ophthalmologist who told me of her great admiration for podiatrists as she couldn’t bear to look at toes… in fact, many of the medical professionals I have encountered in my life have had one part of the body that makes them shudder.
So in explaining the hub’s remark to the doctor, I really expected some sympathy; maybe he’d point out that many people had the same affliction and I could throw an ‘I told you so’ into the mix on learning it wasn’t that obscure… but no!
“I’ve got to admit” he said, “You are a strange one. I’ve never heard of that before.”
He then proceeded to rest his hand on his knee for the rest of the appointment as though it were the most natural thing to do.
Although the catalyst for the current phase of self-analysis, this is not the only thing.
Whilst researching something completely unrelated recently, I landed rather randomly on an old Heat magazine “weird crush” list. This was from years ago, so being as prone to side-tracking as I am I had to look out the most recent; but I found myself looking at most of the guys on the list thinking “Well, why wouldn’t you?”… I honestly cannot think where the weirdness comes in where some of them are concerned – I thought that said more about the people making the list than it did me, but I now start to wonder if I am wrong.
The reason I find myself thinking more about this today is a throwaway remark from the oldest this morning. I booked tickets for her and I to go see Seann Walsh in the next town at the end of the month and went to her room to tell her. She asked where we were sitting and I told her “they have apparently added an extra row especially, so we are right at the very front” [as an aside, this puts us practically in the middle of the stage, which is pretty cool!!]
Her response was “wow – we would be like that far [indicating about four inches] away from him”
Now I have to say, leading from the weird crush list into my next comment I know how this is going to sound, so I do have to make it clear there is no sexual context, it was simply a response to her proximity statement: “We could reach out and stroke his hair”
“Um, ok – a bit weird, mum!”
The evidence really is stacking up quite horrendously against me. I wonder how much credibility I have remaining.
I used to be able to pass for normal.
What the hell happened??
No comments:
Post a Comment