Some Material Writes Itself...

News: Magic Penis Killing

I am sure that everyone with internet access has by now seen this story, but it doesn't make it any less funny!

The gist, for those too lazy to click the link and read for themselves is that an African pastor named Albert Malwane was suspected by members of his village to be using an enchanted penis to woo the ladies, so they killed him!

I shall ignore the fact that these people believe in magic, curses, enchantment etc because this is the norm for many such cultures and in reality are no more bizarre than some of the beliefs held by people in the Western world (indeed, my own belief system could be deemed quite wacky by some!)

The bare facts, then:

Pastor gets down and dirty with a few women from the village who claim to have been enchanted so he is dragged from his home and set alight.

This in itself is extreme behaviour and not in the least funny….

But – you have to wonder at the women concerned. If they really believed they were bewitched, would they not have mentioned it to someone? Or at least warned the other women?

Seems far more likely to me that someone’s husband overheard a conversation:

“Well, what was he like then?”
”You know, he was simply magical, I felt as though I were under a spell!”

Husband tells his friends:

“The women are all bewitched, we must stop him!”

“How is he casting his spell over them?”

“With his penis of course!”

“Oookay….”

“Yes, his enchanted… um… invisible penis!”

But it doesn’t even stop there.

The villagers also claim the pastor’s wife (yes, he was married!) was able to transform herself into a SNAIL and “terrorise” the neighbourhood…. You know, like one of those vicious killer snails you hear so many horror stories about! I would have thought the ability to take on the form of an animal could be quite useful; but a snail? What would she have achieved in that state?

And so as to lay the entire thing to rest; showing the villagers’ actions were completely unfounded; this from the family of the deceased:

“Actually it’s fine, because at the funeral we released a curse on them all!”

In a New Direction

From time to time, I find myself pulled off on what seems an imense tangeant but nevertheless I hop on the wave and ride it 'til it fizzles out. Yes, ok, I have been spending more time speaking with my sun-addled doods than my children but once you find yourself as woman in her mid-thirties dropping "lols" "whatevs" and the ultimate "blates" into general conversation, grownup company in whatever form becomes necessary! 

I spoke recently about how I wasted spent an entire day reading my old scrawlings; but from that I actually discovered something un-tapped. 

I grew up in a laughter-rich environment where my full exposure to radio, television and film was comedy-focussed. My parents firmly believed that laughter could get you through just about anything, a philosophy which has stuck with me to this very day.

That said, the stuff I was reading (mostly lain neglected for five years or more as I had been working at a real job!) was all trying so hard to be serious. Mostly it is derived from original scribblings as a suicidal teen desperate to hide from laughter and fun under a veil of black denim, leather and eyeshadow, so there is going to be no fun to be had there! What I have enjoyed doing, though (as much as a two-fingers at that morose creature as anything else) is re-writing it all but adding in the human element I tried so hard to bury before. In fact, I think a lot of it could simply be published as-is under the guise of comedy! Not that I will, of course, because I wouldn't give the person I was the satisfaction of publication in any form - but I could! 
So I am on a new journey now. The words flow far more easily now that I am no longer trying so hard to be serious about it all and life feels good - mostly because I am laughing! 
And if I laugh as I write, I can hope that at least one person will laugh as they read.

And if I make just one person laugh, then it's worth the effort.

Simply Simon Munnery

A funny thing happened on the way to the theatre tonight, but that’s not really relevant. It was by no means as funny as what encountered us once we arrived!

I had not heard anything of Simon Munnery since the early 90’s, having loved his surrealism and the fantastic character work he did as Alan Parker; the misguided urban warrior so representative of the attitudes of many at the time of wanting to fight the cause whilst not quite understanding what their cause was. Time has passed, though, and yet he is still every bit as outstanding as he ever was.

The venue itself was a new one to me and I think it was perfectly in tune with his easy-going, somewhat understated nature in a way which would not have worked in a larger full theatre.

Without announcement or ceremony, Munnery walked onstage to commence his stand-up routine which had all around him in stitches throughout. Over the years I have spent watching comedy shows, it has been my experience that ordinarily a few people will have come simply to accompany another person and thus will sit stony-faced throughout. From talking to those attending, it was clear a few people had never heard of him and had no idea what to expect, yet still after only a few minutes all were laughing in unison at his witty, frank delivery.

Post-interval we were treated to a particularly surreal restaurant sketch which was outlandishly funny and creative before a further stand-up routine to close the evening. Even after his work was done, Munnery remained in the auditorium chatting with audience members.

A great guy; extremely funny and highly entertaining. If the tour happens to land somewhere near you, make the effort to go see it!

Buy Simon's most recent DVD here