And so here I be!
I have been accused before of being one of those people by whom it is impossible to ever feel you are doing right. I think today I see how people think that way – I don’t agree of course, but I understand.
The firstborn was ousted from college at the end of the last school year for non-attendance. In fairness to her, the college is appalling: teachers are allowed to take three week holidays in term-time and not replaced, yet the kids still have to roll up to the lesson to sign in and leave again; there is nowhere they are allowed to just hang out when not in lessons in spite of regular two or three hour timetable gaps; one teacher had her four year old child sitting in on most lessons or would be on the phone checking in with her childminder throughout; after accepting daughter for her first year, they switched some of her subjects without giving her a choice because they decided not to run certain courses... I could go on, but you get the picture; shit college, child doesn’t go, child is kicked out. She is not without ambition right now, though. There is a plan and she has taken action, having enrolled herself into a college far from home next September but in the here and now she is effectively taking an unscheduled gap year.
After having something of a mini-breakdown over the weekend I have been enjoying a rather self-indulgent week of mostly relaxing, a little reshuffle of my office, a day spent hanging out at my old place of work, a day with my mum; just being in the moment for a few days which has really suited me well (for the most part!).
Yesterday I explained to child one that I was not going to be waking her in the mornings, that if she chose to spend her life languishing in bed, it would be only herself to blame if she could not achieve the things she wanted out of life and that whilst I would do all I could to help her with the things she aims to do this year, I would not do anything for her whilst she lays in bed.
So this morning, having had Miss-middle and Baby heading out of the door in peace and calm all week, Child One was out of bed before breakfast and had commandeered the television remote for MTV in favour of the usual more sedate kid shows, created a noisy, chaotic and extremely stressful ante-school atmosphere and has disrupted the entire flow of my own day to the point where I almost want to send her back to bed!
I am used to silence throughout the house during the day, but because her focus right now is her music study I feel surrounded by noise. I cannot put my own music on as it’s too distracting for her and she is in and out of the office every two minutes “can you help?” “how do I?” “what time are you?”
So yes, it is quite possible there is no pleasing me!
Get out of bed ya lazies…. But do it without coming down the stairs and interfering with my life, ok?
That is all... thank you!
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