Mark Watson: Request Stops

We were lucky enough to have Mark land in the hometown this week. I am not going to get into another rant about how so few decent shows happen here. I am fully aware that as hard as it is for us to get out of the place, it is equally difficult for others to get in… especially to come to some pipsqueak town no-one outside the county has ever heard of.

But anyway:

There was little in the show that we hadn’t seen before. Much of the material is that which is being shown all over the television at the moment. That did not detract at all, though, because as with all performances the importance is in the delivery and Watson had us all chortling away even before the performance started. I will not ruin it by going into too much detail, but will just say that you do not want to arrive late for this show… well, someone must, I guess… just make sure it isn’t you.

Mark Watson is just an incredibly likeable person all-round. He played with the audience, fully understanding and acknowledging every action. I have to say, there is truly a great skill in being able to simultaneously present an act whilst watching every member of the audience, even in a theatre as small as ours, but he managed it perfectly. It is always a fear of an audience that they will be picked out and ordered to contribute to the show, but whilst participation was invited, there was no victimisation or character assassination with opinions sought but not demanded and each response duly acknowledged.

Whilst most comedians present an onstage character, I very much get the feeling there is no act where Watson is concerned, more that he is just getting on the stage to say what he wants to say and meeting him after the show, he was very much as you see in his public persona. It is quite refreshing in a world where you never truly know a person’s motivation to meet someone who seems so genuinely at ease with themselves that they will allow the world to see them for all they are, but for the most part this does seem the case.

And yes, I am aware that this is turning into a rather gushy type of review, but what can I say – a brilliant show. Very funny, a thoroughly nice guy… and he signed daughter’s drawing, seeming to genuinely love it (and why wouldn’t he? It’s fab!!)

So if there are tickets available (and there are for some shows!) near you, go along! If not, clicky the linky and make purchase of the DVD!
I’ve not watched it, but I’m sure it’s every bit as good as the live show… maybe it’s even different material, who knows!



And for no other reason than that I LOVE it!

Here’s baby’s pic again!!

Try As I Might

I am aware that of late this blog has taken rather a turn for the serious, but life is like that sometimes.

I was reminded recently of my post regarding death in comedy and yes, there are punchlines to be found. The trouble is you have to feel inclined to look for them, secondly when you have spent the best part of ten years mourning someone yet still they are not gone you tend to use up every ounce of funny you can draw from the situation.

That said, I am trying; there are a million unfinished posts just waiting to be uploaded, mostly waiting for the timing to be right or for me to find/create some fitting media to accompany them.



In the meantime, back to task:

Seeing as Christmas is fast approaching, the whole comedy world is releasing a book or DVD. I have been lucky enough to be surrounded with people who love to laugh as much as I, so they have kindly loaned me copies of their purchases in order that I can review as much as possible without the need to buy everything; and that is very much appreciated as my home needs laughter right now!

I have to say, I have watched nothing that has disappointed me so far. Check the all new Amazon widget (to the right) for a vague idea of the things I have seen thus far.

Reviews will be forthcoming in the next few days as I re-watch some things and frantically beg for copies of others. I constantly feel the need to apologise for ads on this blog, but in all seriousness; this is my work. I write for a few agencies for free in addition to the commission stuff I do and this is just another on the list of “things I do for love” (and no, I won’t do that!) So please do use the links, even if you aren’t buying what it directs to, I still get credit for your purchases. So if you are heading to Amazon any time soon, please do it through one of my links.

And whilst you are there, buy this:




It’s only £2 and is a fab read!! Ok, I am still fangirling over Chris Corcoran in a big way.

*digression alert*

See, here’s the thing… child two was using my computer a little while ago to download more images for her drawings. One of those was the lovely Chris Corcoran. So now, whenever I download anything and the little window thing opens up to ask where you want it, there he is!



But that isn’t the only thing…

I genuinely don’t know why/how, but her other pics don’t show up on my slideshow screensaver – Chris does… don’t ask, because I can’t figure it out. They are all in the same location, and everything; but I’m not complaining. The thing is, if I leave the office for a while, when I return his is always the picture on the screen. Like he’s just there smiling back at me “I’ve been waiting for you!” … And I know, that’s just a little creepy, but that’s the kind of thing that keeps me going (and not in that way, dirty!!) in a time when everything seems so utterly pointless.

On which note, time for a coffee, as I don’t think I’ve had anywhere near enough caffeine yet today …

Oh yeah, one other thing: Following on from my rather vague (for once intentionally so!) review of Rhod Gilbert's show last week, he has now announced dates for the full tour. Check out his website : tickets are on sale next week... and YAY! there are a few shows within a couple of hours' drive of here, so I have a week to decide which road I would rather spend two hours staring at...

Acknowledging Gary Speed

You will all be perfectly aware that I have precious little knowledge of spectator sports in general, with near zero knowledge of football. That said, I do want to take a moment or two to acknowledge the suicide this weekend of Gary Speed.

His was a name with which I had a vague familiarity; that said, I did have to google him on signing into facebook to find some 30 or so of my friends had posted statuses referring to his unfortunate death… and for those who still have no idea who he was, here is a link to more information.

This is not another blog of “what a great loss to football”; there are ample tributes around the web from people to whom his passing meant a great deal more than it did to me. I want to discuss the way this has highlighted the subject of depression and mental health in general.

Living with someone with severe depression, I know how difficult a condition it is to manage on a day-to-day basis. People who have never encountered it simply cannot understand and I often find myself engaged in arguments following the line of “If he just got on with his life he would soon cheer up!” – If it were that simple, would there really be the need for such a huge amount of different medications? Surely if there were a way to make all sufferers of depression better without turning them into drug-zombies it would be used quite prolifically? Not only that, but in our case there is no life for him to get on with, so where do you begin?

I am sure it is another of those postcode-lottery issues, but mental health provision on the NHS is in our experience seriously lacking – and certainly something which needs more attention. I know that during a particularly dark phase here, the hub-person told our doctor he was feeling like ending it all and was told he could be referred to the mental health team, but that there was a waiting list of 18 months… what is the point in a system that has people waiting that long? For the most part, talking to a doctor about such things means you have already suffered quite some time; no-one just wakes one morning feeling a little down and goes straight to the doctor, do they? And in our case, the decision was “Don’t bother”; hub’s attitude at that point being by the time he was seen he’d either be over it or would have made the decision to end things.

A few years ago now a friend of my first-born discovered the body of her father after he had committed suicide. I remember at the time the hub-person spoke about how selfish an action it was; in spite of also being close to the same state of desperation himself. I remember feeling anger at that time, unable to understand how he could see how selfish the other dad had been but not how his actions were much the same. Of course, years down the line I understand that selfishness and self-involvement are as much a part of the condition, but it takes a long time to come to this realisation and few people are able to stick by the sufferer long enough to reach a point of fully understanding all the symptoms and indicators.

This is a topic I really could harp on about forever, but since this really is not the place for such seriousness I will close on this note:

I do not want my readers here to think I am setting myself up as some sort of saint, being fully accepting of hub’s condition and treating him with kindness and patience. I am a bitch. I am aware of that. Whilst I understand that his actions are a result of his symptoms, I still hold resentment for his ability to spend his life in bed; summoning food at will, demanding assistance with dressing and washing, having no responsibility for housework, childcare or finances; when he tells me to hide the key for his medications, part of me thinks “Why should I?” – although, of course, I do!

But anyway; just for a few days at least, the world is thinking about how people like the hub cope with life; about how hard it is to get through each day when you don’t know that you want to face tomorrow. People who are aware of their own condition are able to say “actually, I could be that person – maybe I need help?”

And if off the back of such tragedy, just one person is able to find their way out of the darkness or help another to manage their condition, then surely this means such a high-profile death of one so popular has not been in vain.

To All Appearances

I may just have found the perfect way of getting rid of the door-to-door religion salesmen!

I am generally far too polite for my own good and end up chatting to them for an age when they come around, but for the most part I do not mind this too much. As with my attitude towards the type of comedy which challenges our thought patterns, I view these visits as a great way to affirm my own faith; particularly when my own belief system is being as heavily challenged as right now. Spending time only with those who share your own beliefs leads to a certain complacency so I relish the opportunity to defend my opinions to those who view things differently. It is also endemic of my eclectic nature that rather than holding to a particular belief system I follow a path of my own making by taking parts of formal religions so it is nice to hear how things are viewed by certain groups of people.

Occasionally, however, I would rather not be stuck on the doorstep for almost an hour discussing my views on what the bible says about the current economic climate. This morning is one such day.

Having been through a particularly difficult phase with the hub-person yesterday, I will admit to being scared of what I might wake to this morning, so opted for the sofa. Worried about him, though, I found myself awake much of the night, heading up a few times to listen at the door to check all was well. This means I slept the sum total of about four hours to wake at around ten – a fact I am sure will offer great reassurance to my regular readers given my need for a predictable Saturday!

Then a knock at the door.

Now, we are currently being subjected to an onslaught of charity do-gooders* begging for bank details, so I contemplated ignoring it. Unfortunately, though, the knock came as I was headed past the door, so I knew I would have been seen. I answered, then, to a man I could barely recognise through my bleary eyes and with the glare of a bright winter’s morning although the magazines in his hand showed it was, in fact, my regularly visiting Jehovah’s Witness. “Sorry to have disturbed you in this state!” – ummm… ok. Not quite sure what he meant by that – I had flung a sweatshirt and leggings over my nightwear (the office is cold today!) so wasn’t especially in a state of undress or anything, but clearly was not looking great! So he just handed over the usual magazines; no reference to articles of interest, no query as to whether I agreed with the current passage of bible study, just a “here you go, I’ll leave you in peace”.

Confidence knocked for the day then. Although a glance in the mirror showed exactly what had scared him so. Only three small factors, but enough to make me seem as though I had a thoroughly enjoyable Friday night: I have a degree of ptosis which looks far worse when I have not slept well (and I haven't!); I also have the driest eyes on the planet (once had a 10-minute blot paper test and there was absolutely no moisture) so they are red and sore-looking before I apply medication; add to this the fact that I am having the worst kind of bad-hair day having opted to forego blow-drying my hair before settling down to sleep last night.

Attractive creature, eh?!
Funnily enough, as I write this Rhod and Chris are currently discussing people lying in dating ads to make themselves seem more attractive.

Before I sidetrack, then, onto something else, I will conclude what I set out to say: namely that in future if I am wanting to avoid talking to the man at the door I will simply rough up my hair, rub sand in my eyes and affect a greater droop of my eyelid.






Anyway – connected with the subject of appearance and since it fits with this morning’s intellectual debate from Messers Gilbert and Corcoran, what of the whole issue of lying to impress when signing up for internet dating sites?

Is there really any point? I mean it’s all very well, I guess if you are looking for nothing beyond exchanging a few emails; but if you are truly looking for a partner why would you make claims to be someone you are not? You are not likely to form an actual relationship if you have to start with apologising for every lie you have told on your application, are you? Surely what you would want to do is sell yourself short so when they meet you their first thought, rather than disappointment is “Not as bad as I expected!”

Or maybe it’s a sign of my current state of mind that “not as bad” sounds like quite the compliment.

*I should make it clear that I have nothing against the idea of charity, but I have huge issues with the current wave of door-knocking beggars. The smugness they respond with when you say no. “Do you not think the future of our children is important?” – of course I bloody do, but I choose to show this by actions which benefit others rather than by throwing money into a scheme which is unlikely to ever be seen in this area anyway. I also know that the person currently judging my attitude towards parting with “just enough for a daily paper” (which as it happens I do not buy anyway!) most likely does not have a monthly standing order either and is taking money from the charity for the time they are running around the streets guilting people into handing over their cash.


And since I want Amazon credit to treat myself to some new books, please clicky some of the linkies...


If you've not watched this film yet, then you really should click, buy, watch 'cos it's fabulous!

On Those Topman Tshirts

Amidst a huge campaign of faux-feminism, Topman have been forced to remove part of their new range from sale.

I’m getting on my high horse again, but really – what gives with society that we have to be so prissy about everything?!

I looked at these shirts and had a chuckle… ok, so they aren’t the funniest slogan t-shirts I have seen, but this is not a t-shirt review so that’s not the issue is it?



The claim that one shirt somehow condones domestic violence – wrong on a few counts…

Firstly, where is the suggestion that it is referring to acts of violence? To me, it’s more of a general “I’m a bloke, bound to have done something wrong, whatever it is I’m sorry” kind of thing. I really did not consider until reading further into the article linked above that there was a suggestion of battery.

Secondly, were we to assume that to be the reference, would we then also make the assumption the wearer of the shirt is in some way advertising his own violent nature? When you see a man in a superman t-shirt, do you assume he can fly? I have to say, it’s not the first thought to cross my mind…

Were I in a new relationship, meeting a friend of my new partner for the first time and he arrived in the “new girlfriend” shirt, would I really assume his shirt was a reference to me? Maybe if he whipped off for a wardrobe change once introductions were dispensed, but other than that; no. It’s just a vaguely amusing t-shirt.


I personally find the generic “They are sexist” argument really insulting. It suggests that females have no sense of humour; that we somehow take ourselves too seriously.

The main issue for me, though, is: what exactly is it about these shirts that can be construed as anti-feminist?

If anything, these are more sexist against men: women can speak out and make their thoughts known without need for a t-shirt declaring their opinions; women do not screw up often enough to warrant the necessity of a permanent reminder of their need for excuses; women, frankly, would not been seen dead in such tacky shirts. Is that not the real issue here?

So men: make a stand! Declare your interest if you feel so inclined…

But the reality?

In my usual stance of cynicism, I have to suggest once again that with reports of extremely low pre-Christmas spending and the panic businesses are going through over how to get their share of what little cash is being spent on gifts… just how many extra sales have the Topshop group gained since the commencement of this current campaign? How many have looked in to see what other “offensive” offerings the new range has? And how many have just ‘had’ to buy something whilst they were there?

So for today I ask this of you:

When you read about how offensive something is, think about why it could seem so and whether you think it a valid reason before deciding to blindly follow the crowd.

Rhod Gilbert: Flaming Battenburg Tattoo

Like many others at the moment, Rhod Gilbert is previewing new material and I was lucky enough to get hold of some tickets for a show not too far from here. It is not possible to review properly, simply because we were not given polished material, but in terms of delivering on a promise, well we were told there would be some stuff that worked and some that didn’t and I have to say there is little I felt fell short.

The evening was every bit as hilarious as you would expect; I have mentioned previously how much I actually enjoy the preview shows because I really like the raw, unrehearsed feel. I also like the way you could easily see every show of the run and never see the same thing twice, although having worked as hard as I did to get tickets to this one I do not think I could endure the process too many times to risk finding out for sure!

I will not go into any detail on the material, as this would spoil things when the show is finally cut together, but I would say little needs changing in my opinion. I was quite struck at the irony of spending two hours listening to someone rant about how they no longer feel the need to rant, but I really do not think it would be the same if he were to perform any other way, so I hope he hasn’t really mellowed as much as he claims! It is a vital part of the character we all see him as that we get to ridicule his response to things as well as recognising the nonsense of the situation he describes.

Some of what he delivered did not feel new to me, so I spent much of my time thinking “When did I hear him do that before?” – but this is more a sign of my fangirl nature than that he is not delivering on a promise of completely new material. I do make a huge effort to catch every TV and radio performance and even a writer as hard-working as Gilbert could not possibly come up with the vast amount of material needed to make every single performance unique.

So there you are; I would say your chance to see a preview show has probably passed unless new dates are announced as tickets sell quickly, but keep an eye on Rhod’s website for announcements of the main tour and definitely make the effort to go along – although if you are reading this blog, you will no doubt be doing that anyway whether I tell you to or not…

There are many of Rhod's performances to be found on youtube, but I particularly love this one!



And this is on my Christmas list, since my seperate copies have vanished!

Or you can pre-order the DVD of this new material, due for release in time for next Christmas:

Fangirling Like a Crazy

I received the brilliantly funny “Random Thoughts” by Chris Corcoran last week.

It’s an amazing book, but I can’t bring myself to review it properly here. I greatly value my integrity and feel sure that anything I write about it will at the very least seem sycophantic and to be honest if you are ordering anything from Amazon (or any other online store for that matter) it’s no big deal to add another £1.99 to your order and make up your own mind!

When it arrived, I had just poured a cup of tea: I intended to read a little of the book whilst my tea was steeping and then get back to work, but ended up reading the entire thing before doing anything else (well, I did whip the teabag out of the cup between chapters and once left the book for a couple of minutes whilst I transferred some laundry from the washer to the dryer).

Today I read it for a third time and still laughed aloud as much as the first.

There is not much more I can say than that, really; mainly because I am very much in love with Mr Corcoran right now so to start trying to review anything he has touched on would just appear gushy and insincere regardless of how hard I try to remain objective.

So buy the book. As Chris says himself: “If it’s rubbish, you’ve only wasted £1.99” …. but it isn’t, so you’ll have wasted nothing!




And because I am fangirling in such a crazy-assed way at the moment, I should admit to having watched this video starring the delicious Mr Corcoran - oh and Elis James several times over the last few months - and it doesn't get any less funny!

Flattered

Today’s picture is provided by my delightful eight-year old. She spent almost an hour working in secret, making us close our eyes for a grand reveal before asking “Well, do you know who it is?”

I should say that at this point, the picture had no title – if it did the question would have been easier to answer and possibly would not have led to the ensuing discussion.

“I don’t know, Santa maybe?”

“NO MUM!! It’s clearly you; look at it, I put the double chin in and everything!”



On the plus side I noticed that she had used blue for my hair.

I recently decided to move away from the comfort of varying degrees of red, burgundy and copper for a promising “Cosmic Blue”… what I have, however, is black. It’s a nice black rather than the dull, dry shade you tend to get with dyed hair but a bright, bold, ‘clingingtomyyouth’ blue colour it ain’t.

She knows that, though, and has clearly acknowledged my will to be seen as a funkier more youthful version of myself.

“Thank you for making my hair blue, at least!”

“Well, I didn’t really – just that it’s chalk – there isn’t a black is there!”


So here I am, warts and all. Not that I have any warts… thankfully… although you can be sure baby will be letting everyone know should I ever grow any – or acquire them – not sure how you refer to the onset of warts.


Thankfully I have now been deleted from the chalkboard in favour of a poll:

DINNER: Fry-up vs Carbonara.

Three votes each… I know you are confused now; how does a five person family make for six votes? Since I refused to choose one child over the other, baby put a vote on each side on my behalf. So carbonara with sausages, baked beans and fried eggs then.

Interesting indeed.

Scrabbling

This post comes with a warning – of sorts.

It contains language likely to offend some, in fact the entire post is based on one word – and it is not a good one!

I have warned you – there has been ample opportunity for you to stop reading.




My readers who know me will be aware of my love of word games and as such will possibly on occasion have played scrabble with me. I prefer to play online than real life. For one thing, the maths is done for you, for another you don’t need to worry about whether a word really exists; you just try it out, hit the “send” button and it goes – or more often it doesn’t; but the point is you can play words without really giving much thought to whether they really exist.

By far the worst thing when playing scrabble though, whether playing online or not, is when you see a rude word on your rack, because you know from that moment your game is thwarted.

Picture the scene, then, on making a move and looking at my new letters: C – bugger! A C is never good, because you just know you will be stuck with it for a while … but hold on, because I still have the K from before, so it’s not so bad after all, I mean a CK is 8 points right off the bat without even factoring in special squares and so on and there are far more CK words than with just a single C.

Also amongst my new letters was a U.

I already had an F.

Now, regardless of age or gender, there is a 14-yr old boy hidden somewhere in the back of everyone’s brain which will activate what I like to refer to as the ‘Beavis and Butthead Reflex’ but I am sure there is possibly some proper term for it.

“Hehe! I’ve got the word FUCK!”

And you stare at the letters for an age in the pretence of trying to think of any other word you could possibly play, but in actual fact all you are doing is staring at the word FUCK, thinking

“Should I?”

So you shuffle the letters around a bit; because if they are mixed up you won’t see the word and might stand a chance of creating something clean, right?

WRONG – We have all seen the French Connection logo, so we know how it works; your brain will do that really clever thing where it says: “You know what, those letters are all mixed up! Here, let me sort them for you!”

And no matter what order you have the letters in, still all you can see is FUCK





Now here is where we see the biggest difference between playing scrabble online vs the ‘real world’; because in the real world, you would never play the word FUCK, even with the U on a triple-word square butting up against an X (66 points, by the way!) but playing online somehow makes you feel that you can push the boundaries – so you place your letters – hit the ‘send’ button and await the “invalid word” message with that immature chuckle echoing in your mind. But it doesn’t come; because online scrabble has no moral code nor a sense of humour; and so it sends your word. And you are left needing to send an apology to the physicist with whom you had until this point been deep in intellectual recourse explaining why you felt the need to use the word FUCK in this particular game. He would understand, though, wouldn’t he? Surely as a scientist he’s familiar with the BBR?

It seems not.

Flylady : Schmylady!

Some days it is really hard to focus.

This pretty much represents how today is panning out for me:




So far, in order to avoid real work I have cleaned my kitchen and all three bathrooms, sorted a couple of boxes of stuff the kids don’t want into what is good for passing on and what is only fit for the bin, stared out of the window for a bit, contemplated cleaning the car (but it’s raining so I thought better of it), compiled some WMP playlists, prepared some stuff for an upcoming interview on a friend’s radio show (in spite of not yet even having a date for said interview!), sent out a few random BS emails about nothing in particular, written a poem and an article, completed a couple more future posts for this blog and blown out an hour on Youtube.

As for the job I am supposed to be doing: well, I have scribbled 3 pages of notes and opened somewhere in the region of several firefox tabs containing useful information and websites of interest… but I need a particular book – I know where it is, it’s in a box in the gym – might just have a run whilst I am out there!


On the plus side, look at what a productive day I’ve had!

Kicking the Flylady in the teeth; who says you need a plan and a clean sink to get anything done? All I need is a tricky topic to avoid writing about...

Argumental

The return of this show was welcomed most enthusiastically in our household, partly because we had so much enjoyed previous series and partly (of course) because of the first-born's latest comedy infatuation!


Obviously, there is always a concern when a show which seemed to have the perfect combination of personalities undergoes such an immense change, but for the most part the new cast doesn’t seem too bad; although maybe rather than just keeping the same old title, this series should be now billed as Argumental 2.0 just to distinguish it from the former.

I am still not quite sure how I feel about Sean Lock’s efforts as host. I think he is a brilliant comedian, don’t get me wrong, but that was a lot of the problem; his constant need to be heard did slightly grate at me, simply because that is not his purpose. It did quite make me think of the US version of ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway’, in which Drew Carey felt the constant need to write himself into rounds… I was half-wondering when we should expect Lock to announce a special round just for himself. This was the main reason the previous team worked well, John Sergeant was able to be funny without the egotistical need to be funnier than his co-stars. Part of me is a little annoyed, too, because with Lock now hosting, we won’t get to hear any of his rambling rants which always made him such a hilarious guest in previous series.

I did think new captains Robert Webb and Seann Walsh worked very well together. There is an obvious contrast between them in terms of age and experience but that can only help on a show with the sole focus being debate. There was obviously a lacking in the chemistry we saw from previous captains, Marcus Brigstocke and Rufus Hound but this I am sure will come as they both relax into the show. I did feel at times Webb was holding back slightly, although the softer side of me would like to think of it as an attempt to avoid taking over the show completely rather than to suggest he just was not trying; much like a father playing football with his son and clearly allowing the odd goal past just to boost his confidence slightly. Walsh performed outstandingly well in spite of being far less experienced than the others and the show was well worth watching a second time just for his brilliant impression of a women’s tennis match! I also think his stumbling, lackadaisical delivery is perfectly suited to such a format as this, lending to the ad lib nature.



Watch it – if you have access to Dave*, of course… if you don’t then I’m sorry. Unfortunately there is little I can do to remedy this, but to say that there are videos on the Dave website.

*As I have previously mentioned, there are places on the web that host TV shows for you to stream, but whilst the websites themselves claim it is perfectly legal, I still do not know for sure, so will not link to them… but you could find them if you looked I guess.

The next episode airs Thursday 11th November at 10pm with guests Jack Whitehall and Chris Ramsay.

Check here for details of the many opportunities to catch the show if you missed it!

Seann Walsh: Ying and Young

Child one and I popped over to the next town to watch the fabulous Seann Walsh tonight. Now I don’t know about other parents, but I do feel it makes for a promising show when the first words spoken are a reference to performing a sexual act on your child…. I’ll come back to that one though!

Walsh was supported by Romesh Ranganathan. As a warm-up, Romesh did a brilliant job; I was vaguely familiar with him from the BBC New Comedy Award and it was great to hear a longer set from him. I have to say, an unexpected support act is always a great bonus – like a BOGOF offer – free laughs, and all that… much like if you were to call an escort agency and book yourself a man for the evening then two arrive… no, sorry, that’s something else entirely – a bonus comedian is nothing like having two men arrive to take you out for an evening… but something to think about for a moment or two nevertheless.

Back to point: yes, Romesh Ranganathan was very funny. I did enjoy his slow, methodical delivery and I felt his relaxed pace contrasted brilliantly with the speed and energy of Walsh making them a great pairing.
I remember writing something about him in the summer but can’t find where it was published now; I would love to refer to it directly but I have to find something different to write in case of breeching agreements and such – so I shall just leave it at that. Take a look at his website, see where he is to be and go watch him! That is what I would do if I were you – but I’m not!

So to Seann Walsh himself. What can I say but that he was every bit as brilliant as we expected him to be! Okay, so he opened with a deeply inappropriate suggestive remark, but as you can tell by now (I hope!) I am perfectly capable of knowing the difference between something being said as part of an act and a statement of intention – and I make the assumption his statement was the former… and besides, we all know I love when my kids are embarrassed – and she certainly was!
Anyway, what more to say? The audience were particularly lively and I loved his attitude towards the more active members. It says a lot for his level of professionalism even in the rambling, lazy persona he portrays that he was able to sidetrack to joke with the audience member, yet still return to the very point he left off.
His material was great. I have read criticisms that it is material that does not work for an audience of varying ages, but I disagree completely; I don’t think there was anyone who did not get the points he was making – even if you did not understand the references directly, the delivery was such that it was still immensely funny and it really was not difficult to work out what he meant. (don't start me on another rant about lazy reviewing, please!!)
Edgy, energetic, fluid and absolutely hilarious; exactly what you would expect if you have seen any of his television appearances. If you can’t get to see him live, he is on the first episode of the new series of Live at the Apollo this Friday at 9.30pm on BBC1. I expect it will be much of the same material, as that is mostly the way with these things.

For my local readers, the tour is back in these parts on Wednesday (not in this town, obviously! But nearby) Contact me and I’ll let you know where! Just don’t tell the child-people in case they expect me to take them again… not that I wouldn’t – but I can’t justify abandoning the hub-creature for another night out whilst he is still bed-ridden.

And, yes you have guessed it – Miss Middle has been drawing again! So here is an ickle pic…

Like Hot Buttered Toast…

Every wonder if you aren’t spreading yourself a little too thinly?

I do… but have never really let it worry me until now when I find myself wondering if I need to hone in my hoarder spirit a little.

Being an eclectic person, I have made conscious efforts to avoid pigeon-holing myself by genre or demographic; I have worked with equal pride and gusto on projects for children and adults alike; I have put together basic instruction guides aimed at complete morons incapable of sussing which is the “on” switch of a new kettle to full technical guides of which I understand little myself; I have written poetry, prose and short stories on many themes, from sci-fi through to trashy romance and beyond; I have published articles on a huge array of subjects, some relevant to my own skills and experiences, some completely research-based. I have started, though, to look at whether I need to actually start to fit my writing neatly into a little box so people can find me easily.

I think it’s great to have the freedom to write about what I want, when I want but is this just the slightest bit lazy?
It probably is. If I do not declare a genre, I do not have to follow rules of that theme. In fact, I mostly just write without really thinking about what it is I am trying to say. You may tell from the here-and-there nature of these posts!

I was asked the other day “Do you not worry that you won’t build up a reliable fan-base?”
Now I see the point in this question, especially given that the person who asked does have quite a cult following of their own, but honestly; no.

I do not write for others, I write for me. Even in the case of reviews as I write here and in other shady corners of the internet I do not write them to inform others, more as a way to make my opinion heard – and let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be heard?

But yes, maybe I do need to decide who/what I am; maybe I need to focus on one thing at a time; maybe I should be writing for a market rather than for myself.

Or maybe there is enough of me to go around and as such I can spread myself as thinly as I choose.




It isn’t only my work which is affected by my ‘bits and pieces’ nature.

Having a deep love for words and language, I could not resist recently snapping the hand off a friend who was selling a Rosetta Stone bundle with a heap of language packs. I think you normally buy just the one language, but this had some twenty or so. The obvious start-point for me was Welsh, so I have worked through that set of lessons and have now commenced both Polish and Vietnamese.

I did not see an issue with learning two languages concurrently; after all we were made to do it at school and that was not so long ago… But my friend challenged me on the decision: “Would it not be better to just do one at a time?”

Um… no! Because then it would take an age to complete ALL of them, which I fully intend to do.

“But when will you use all those languages?”

And she is possibly correct, maybe I won’t; but at the moment I fully intend to.

Yesterday, after discovering my ALISON account had some 17 active courses on it, I decided to have a clear up. I finished the accountancy diploma and claimed the certificate for that, then deleted some of the others which seemed irrelevant to where my life is now, still leaving me with four ongoing courses.

Added to that I have not yet finished the final stage of my PLT training, am trying to expand my Makaton beyond that required in schools and am still planning to complete my degree once things are settled here I certainly need to do something about my hotchpotch gathering attitude!

But I have made a start at least!

Sketchy with Diarmuid Corr

I often bemoan the fact that the I-player opens automatically on the TV page. As a listener rather than a viewer, I would like at least to be given the choice! But today I stumbled across this little gem.

I do not know if it was always there, but today there was a section of the player titled “Just For You” in which was a link to Sketchy. I must say, I think they need to expand the demographic slightly; or maybe show it somewhere other than in NI, unless of course they lie and it isn’t ‘just for me’ at all.


I very much enjoyed the show. It felt a lot like some of the comedy shows I grew up watching, with a great mix of sketches and stand-up.

In a time where the majority of the comedy characters to which we are exposed are reliant entirely on catchphrases and in-jokes, it is refreshing to see sketch-based comedy which is more heavily focussed on the writing and performance.

This show gave plenty of laughs, so you should definitely check it out!

Episode two is tomorrow (Weds) at 10:35pm on BBC One (NI) – or if that clashes with other shows you need to watch, catch it on the Iplayer any time thereafter!

Woe-is-me Weekend

I always hated routine. I swore down I’d never be one of those “coffee on Wednesday, movies on Friday” kind of people… in fact when I was younger those people irritated me no end because you had to think about what day it was before deciding whether to visit them – and I never remembered that until I was almost at their house… I used to spend my time wishing they would just get a damned life!

I don’t like to think of it as getting old, rather finding a new perspective, but in a phase of my life where so much is taken up by random occurrences and such, it is good to have just one day in the week you can rely on.

Saturday is my comfort blanket amidst the chaos of hospitals, school functions and taxiing people around hither and thither. So seriously, the man who messes with my Saturday…

FEEL MY WRATH!!


It is a simple one, but nevertheless enough of a routine to make Saturday a calming, relaxing day.

I wake naturally, sometime around 9.30 and am breakfasted in time to spend an hour in the company of James Martin before heading into the office to work whilst listening to Rhod Gilbert until lunchtime, at which point I will decide whether this is a work-in-pyjamas day, a couch-potato day or even the kind of day I might decide to do something constructive (although usually avoided on a Saturday!) Mostly it becomes the former since I am in the office already and in a work-minded mood.


Not so impressed this morning, then, to have slept in; especially since I had plans which were to commence the moment Rhod's radio show finished.

Getting finally settled in the office at around 11.30, breakfast in hand, I thought it would be reasonably easy to get back into the flow. Until a phone call at 12.15 from the doctor's surgery asking why the man-person had not arrived for his flu innoculation - oops!! I honestly thought it was next week. No worries, says she... just get here within the next half hour!

So I had to wake him, get him dressed, washed and medicated and out the door pronto.

Seemed pointless, then, to wait until later to do all I wanted, so my leisure day has pretty much passed by in a whirl of shopping, (which I hate!) kids fighting over unimportant nonsense and a moany hub-creature because he had only had about 3 hours sleep when I woke him.

Thankfully my mood has lifted slightly as all is peaceful now - I left two children in town (intentionally, honest... I didn't just forget to bring them home!) the hub is sleeping again and child three is making jewellery to sell at a charity event tomorrow.


Not only that; I have been downloading a lot of images for tomorrow's event (I'm facepainting so need to have a few ideas to work from!) and as Miss Middle has been gathering more pictures for her current drawing fad, every time I download something I get to see the sexy eyes of Chris Corcoran staring back at me. Can't ask for more, really, can you?

Well - obviously, I could ask for a whole lot more, but in terms of rebuilding a destroyed Saturday, it's enough for me!

And some more drawings to look forward to seeing too! She's fab, isn't she!!

See... very easily pleased!!


And since I have mentioned both Miss-Middle's drawings and the fabulous Rhod Gilbert in this one post, I shall give not one, but two pics she drew! I know you are probably tiring of my constant references to her artistic nature, but I'll be honest, I am milking it for all it is worth whilst she isn't making me pay royalties and they are really good! Just don't anyone explain the principle of commissions to her.....

Theatres; Geography; Argh!

Ok, I am going to sound a proper Ranty McRantpants now, but life is a bit that way at the moment!

I’ve found another reason my town is so utterly crap and why moving away is so badly needed… looking around the web for something else, I discovered that the incredibly sexy Ed Byrne is here in town next week… now I am on the mailing list for our theatre precisely so I DON’T miss things like this – yet all they send me is emails begging for frigging money! I’d give them a lot more cash if I didn’t keep hearing about stuff I want to see after I’ve blown out my leisure spend on paying to see shows further away from home! There isn’t even a poster up at the theatre for it… what gives with that?

A few months ago, both Alan Carr and Tim Vine were here yet there was no mention in any of the spammy nonsense they email out; I found out once the tickets were already sold out.

I have already mentioned (many times; I am aware I repeat myself often, it’s the most effective way of having people take notice!) that there is so rarely anything worth seeing here, so why are they not marketing the backside off everything that is? You would expect a comedian like Byrne to have sold-out long before now, even at £20 a ticket (not much for some of you, I know, but that is the most expensive ticket I have seen for our piss-assed little theatre!) but there are still ‘loads’ of seats left according to the dour-faced trout I spoke to yesterday. I have not even seen any advertising for Mark Watson’s show; in fact I would not have even known it was happening were it not for his blog! (Not linking; seriously you should already know your way there by now, I’ve told you often enough and can’t be bothered with typing the code stuff!!) In fact, I was sent a notification through the post couple of weeks ago telling me the time had changed and giving new tickets, surely good marketing would have been to throw a flyer of some sort into the envelopes telling people about upcoming shows of interest. Chances are someone coming to watch MW would be just as interested in Ed Byrne, wouldn’t they?

I’d love to be able to see more here in town. Travelling to see shows is honestly a nightmare – public transport is suckish and expensive and if you choose to drive, you are travelling for an hour before you even feel you are starting the journey. I realised just how cut-off we are geographically when I was researching for the upcoming move. I will need at times to travel to London; in fact I have turned down some amazing opportunities for that very reason over the last few months. From here, it is a drive of almost five hours; impossible to do alone without becoming one of those horror ad poster-faces for motorway services. The places I have looked at moving to in Wales are almost on the same line as we are, yet the journey is only two and a half google-hours. I regularly take trips of up to three hours, so I know that is perfectly within my capabilities.

I do think our theatre is fighting very hard to bring the residents of our town to a higher level, but they really need to learn when to just give people what they want rather than trying to drip-feed culture to a population who are really not interested. They put on some nice ballets, plays, have orchestras and choirs perform; those things are hammered in the press, poster campaigns all over the town but few tickets are sold. This is a mostly working-class town with the ideals and expectations that come of the status. Wages are incredibly low, unemployment high and few have any discernable disposable income so they will not waste any money on going to the theatre for something which does not interest them. People want to laugh, they want to forget their plight for a while and just be entertained, yet our theatre has little hold on that. I remember being at the theatre a couple of years ago (Al Murray – brilliant show!) and overhearing a woman during the interval asking at the ticket desk about a medium they had heard was coming to town. They were told quite categorically they had heard wrong and that there would never be a medium in the theatre. I found this a strange response, so called the next day for more information to be told “mediumship is not considered entertainment”. I find this a funny statement indeed considering the disclaimer legally required for such shows states the complete opposite, but nevertheless whilst I know of many who have tried to put on a show here, all have been turned away; some eventually putting on very successful events in local hotels or the town leisure centre. I don’t know that I would go to such a show myself, but regardless, the people of this town are interested in this type of performance, so why are the theatre not listening and giving what they want?

Here’s another thing:

When I recently visited the theatre of the next town, I was quite surprised by the fact that people were buying drinks at the bar and casually strolling into the auditorium with them. Ours does not allow that, preferring to cram the entire audience into the small foyer where you have to try to drink without elbowing the next person. I thought “wow, what a relaxed theatre this is!” yet on speaking with the staff afterwards they expressed that in actual fact ours was one of very few to have such a rule. And I have to say, I think their rule is losing them some valuable income. I never consider buying a drink at our theatre for a variety of reasons; whilst I can cope with being in a crowd out of doors (like concerts and festivals etc) I really do not deal well with indoor ones, feeling cramped and claustrophobic; I do not relish the idea of trying to drink whilst in such a small space you can barely lift your arm without knocking someone else, theatre drinks are expensive enough and I certainly don’t want to be trying to suck a glass of wine out of my dress; I don’t like to rush a drink, nor leave one unfinished and with such a short space of time, generally only one person working the bar and hundreds of drinks to be poured there is precious little time to drink at leisure before abandoning your efforts to return to your seat. I am sure I can’t be the only person to feel this way, so why do they not realise their sales are not what they should be?


Share with me your own theatre woes; or boast about how great yours is. I don’t really care either way – I have said what I need to say!

Didn’t mean this to be such a whiney post – I’d apologise, but no-one forces you to read, so thank you if you have. If you’ve just skipped to this part, then I feel I should at least reward your scrolling efforts with something worthwhile!

Not related to the post at all, but I watched it, it made me chuckle, so I marked it to include here at some point! The brilliantly funny Isy Suttie....

A Whole World of Strange

I have always been aware of being somewhat quirky, but lately I am wondering if it truly is quirkiness or if I’m not just descending into strangeness!


The hub-creature had a hospital appointment last week, at which I was being taught to give some of his treatment (I guess it’s part of easing the financial burden of the NHS, as the equipment needed we have to buy – and because it’s an invasive treatment, we also have to arrange for clinical waste collections – sidetracking, I know, but it does piss me off somewhat that they can’t even prescribe the stuff we need or do any of the bureaucratic bullshit for us!!) Anyway – the anaesthetist mentioned the treatment could be administered at his knee… I shuddered and felt my toes instinctively curl whilst the hub-person laughed saying “don’t tell her that for God’s sake!”

I don’t know quite when my knee-phobia first started, but I have never thought it that strange. I really cannot go into details, because thinking about it makes me incredibly nauseous but the basic gist is that I can’t bear the thought of touching a knee or having mine touched… or even seeing another person touching their own or someone else’s.
See, writing about it really does make it sound quite strange, but I really don’t think it is.

I mean, there are so many with bizarre phobias that there must be others with the same affliction, surely. Like the time I was chatting with our old dentist and he mentioned his fear of eyeballs; or the ophthalmologist who told me of her great admiration for podiatrists as she couldn’t bear to look at toes… in fact, many of the medical professionals I have encountered in my life have had one part of the body that makes them shudder.

So in explaining the hub’s remark to the doctor, I really expected some sympathy; maybe he’d point out that many people had the same affliction and I could throw an ‘I told you so’ into the mix on learning it wasn’t that obscure… but no!

“I’ve got to admit” he said, “You are a strange one. I’ve never heard of that before.”

He then proceeded to rest his hand on his knee for the rest of the appointment as though it were the most natural thing to do.


Although the catalyst for the current phase of self-analysis, this is not the only thing.

Whilst researching something completely unrelated recently, I landed rather randomly on an old Heat magazine “weird crush” list. This was from years ago, so being as prone to side-tracking as I am I had to look out the most recent; but I found myself looking at most of the guys on the list thinking “Well, why wouldn’t you?”… I honestly cannot think where the weirdness comes in where some of them are concerned – I thought that said more about the people making the list than it did me, but I now start to wonder if I am wrong.

The reason I find myself thinking more about this today is a throwaway remark from the oldest this morning. I booked tickets for her and I to go see Seann Walsh in the next town at the end of the month and went to her room to tell her. She asked where we were sitting and I told her “they have apparently added an extra row especially, so we are right at the very front” [as an aside, this puts us practically in the middle of the stage, which is pretty cool!!]
Her response was “wow – we would be like that far [indicating about four inches] away from him”
Now I have to say, leading from the weird crush list into my next comment I know how this is going to sound, so I do have to make it clear there is no sexual context, it was simply a response to her proximity statement: “We could reach out and stroke his hair”

“Um, ok – a bit weird, mum!”

The evidence really is stacking up quite horrendously against me. I wonder how much credibility I have remaining.

I used to be able to pass for normal.

What the hell happened??

Youtube-ness

Even in the face of current sadness, life has given a few small chuckles today; another classic event from baby; a prime piece of ownage (or is that pwnage?) at my expense from the oldest; a most random text from Miss-middle and some youtube links I have been emailed for possible review which – well, thankfully it’s not the comedians themselves who have requested the reviews, so at least I can happily just not include them without concern that they might be offended by my silence. In fact, there were a couple of links I was sent that did have me wondering if there wasn’t some huge practical joke afoot at my expense… seriously, people, you know how hard I find it to say bad things – and you also know I’m too OCD to start watching a video and not complete it; so to send me off to 45 minutes of utter drime is at best inconsiderate. WTH?? So now the Microsoft Corporation is trying to tell me the word drime doesn’t exist… well I use it – a lot lately! – so clearly it does. In fact, having used it twice now in this very article I think I have illustrated quite clearly its existence, definition and context so screw you Oxford English! But anyway, all videos sent have been viewed and the fact that I am linking to none of them now must tell you something I am sure.

I do feel I need to point out that I am not a sharer of viral videos and as such would rather not be sent footage of cats being – well being cats really – no matter how hard you try with a soundtrack and fancy production techniques; neither am I interested in children being bratty and obnoxious; nor do I care to pass my time watching video game footage with ‘hilarious’ banter attached. But if you have something that truly is funny then please share either here or through email or facebook (or Twitter, I guess… although I still have not gotten around to figuring twitter out yet!)

I would ordinarily feel the need to link to the last thing I viewed, but I ended up following a train of “others like this” that took me to a very strange place indeed so instead something I like to watch from time to time and a song which will now be stuck in your head for the rest of the day:




And if anyone should find the un-bleeped version anywhere, please share! Hate the bleepy bleepness!!

Pushing Through....

I asked recently for some of my friends to share their methods for coping with the funk… and since I now find myself in deeper mire than before I guess it is time I formulate people’s thoughts into a cohesive coping mechanism.


Firstly, I should acknowledge the helpful souls who (rather predictably) offered up such wisdom as: “Man up!” “Stop moaning!” or my favourite “Shut the F*** up!!” These deserve first mention because this is the leaning of those nearest and dearest to me, so whilst not particularly constructive this is the tone of the advice I will mostly end up following.

So thank you friends, family and my closest co-workers; you are a fabulous bunch of people indeed, least of all for actually caring enough to respond to my call.


One friend (one of those irritating people who always completes projects weeks before deadline – you have at least one of those friends yourself I am sure!) told me simply “keep writing”. Reflecting on our youth, she reminded me of the fact that I felt compelled to write back then because I had so much negativity within my soul I needed to get out. I really cannot remember when I last just wrote in that way; possibly during my second pregnancy, but even then not to the extent I had as a teen but it has to make a difference. If nothing else, at least this allows me to process my emotions and make some sort of sense of them; and who knows, maybe there could be some useful gems standing out amidst the inevitable twaddle.


Knowing of my great love for photography a few people suggested heading out with my camera looking for those moments of minute beauty I so love. Unfortunately at the moment getting away from home is not possible… and yes, this is possibly contributing in no small way to the low mood swings but I did get out into the garden for a while last week and have some cracking macro images to show for my efforts. I was also able to get some images to accompany future blog posts which are part written so I am for once ahead of myself… don’t get too used to it though.


It wasn’t really until being sent an email describing one person’s method of dealing with their own clinical depression that I realised I see it in practice on an almost daily basis and have often applauded it without it actually occurring to me that it could help me in any small way. It is a simple task of personification; creating a character of the thing which hits you hardest and dealing with it as a living creature. A very dear friend has an illness which can be severely debilitating at times; this illness is given a human name, a personality and most importantly weaknesses. Through this mechanism my friend is able to keep her poor health from controlling her, as is the person who suggested it.

As stated by my friend in his lengthy email: “I just made up the character of Clint [surname Frown] as a means of coping, but as a creative person I am sure you could make a whole world in which your woes could all live happily together”

Makes me think of the Mr Men stories in a slightly different way!


By far the sagest advice I had came as one would expect from my mother: “avoidance is certainly not the answer”.
She is right, of course, because in order to avoid dealing with the things which are making me feel down I am firstly keeping them in the forefront of my mind throughout. Secondly, whilst I am trying to shut out certain factors, I am closing myself off to a lot of other aspects which could ultimately help with processing my issues such as friends, family members, work and just living my life.

So there; do not ever tell me I don’t listen to you all! I do – well I try to anyway!

And whilst these methods might not be able to help with my current phase of sadness, the next unexplained funk will be far simpler to deal with.








And having talked of sadness, I shall just close with a silent tribute.

A dear friend lost a very close family member recently and whilst it would be glib for me to suggest that I could know the pain she feels, I can certainly imagine a fraction of it; so I close by sending thoughts of love and healing to a family who have already had enough to deal with this year so really did not deserve to be hit with a tragedy right now and by wishing a safe journey to the next world to a wonderfully strong, organised, hard-working, independent young woman whose work in this life was far from finished.

Be at peace.

xx

Ask Rhod Gilbert

BBC 1, Wednesdays 10.45pm

Those who know me will have expected this review long ago, but it has taken many re-writes to make it not seem gushy! Much as I try to remain objective I do feel there is little these guys can do that I would not love so I have watched it over and again trying to bore myself to the point I can find something negative to say; but still I have nothing.

The show has a feel of intimacy to it, as though rather than watching people try to be funny you are just in the pub having a chat with them. With a huge array of panel shows featuring the same faces time and again each fighting for their camera time, this is a refreshing approach. And okay, nothing has really changed since the last series and I am aware I have (quite recently) criticised other shows for this very thing – but much as I hate the cliché thing: if it ain’t broke… blah blah!


This first episode featured guests David Hasseloff, Kimberley Wyatt and Phill Jupitus. I have to admit, having seen Jupitus live a few times I expected more of him than we saw in this programme, but I feel he was very much overshadowed by Hasselhoff! I have never particularly been a fan, even in the days of Knight Rider (Airwolf was more my thing, Michael Knight was far too clean-cut for my liking!) but I have to say I found him highly entertaining through this episode – not enough to persuade me to watch BGT (or X-Factor? – No it’s definitely BGT – see, researched a fact and came right back, I can do it!) but I would no longer turn a show off just because he happened to be on it.

I did notice during the first series that most of the questions posed were repeated from the brilliantly funny Irish comedy "Great Unanswered Questions" but thankfully that seems not to be the case this time around. It is far easier to roll with the jokes when you do not already know the true answer!

Ok, for some the humour might at times be a little puerile, nonsensical and juvenile but to my mind that suits the loose, easy flowing format well. This series is unpretentious and unapologetic, treating everyone with equal contempt regardless of status and as such brings out the best in its guests.


So there you are; another fabulous series! Watch it – many times – it gets funnier I assure you!


Showing Wednesday nights at the bizarre time of 10:45pm and repeated Sundays around midnight – or on the Iplayer at any time of course!


And for no other reason than to show off as usual; another of my baby's drawings!