That said, child one came running down the stairs last night in full fangirl-mode “OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, MUM…. MUM… MUM… SNOGMARRYAVOID….NOW….GOLDIELOOKINCHAIN….QUICK” and proceeded to switch off the DVD being watched by Miss-Middle to make us all join her in watching.
It may be obvious (and certainly is to anyone with access to my ‘real-world’ Facebook) that Child One does quite like a bit of the GLC – to a worrying degree… but who am I to judge?
And so I found myself watching some of the most peculiar television I have seen since… well I don’t know… and I am aware it isn’t the most bizarre thing on right now, just that as a person with so much to fill a day I don’t indulge in the mindless drime nowadays! (and really? my ‘generic’ document-writing software is still trying to tell me Drime isn’t a word!)
But anyway… for those as ill-informed as I was, the premise is this:
A girl (it might always be a girl, maybe not – honestly I don’t intend to watch another episode, so I will never know!) walks down the street in her underwear to be picked apart over such things as:
- Her ridiculous fake tan
- Her trowel-applied make-up
- Hair resembling… well I don’t know… but definitely not hair. Actually, I do know – you know those über-fluffy cats? Imagine one of those unbrushed for about 8 years. Then think about the matted mess that would have to be clipped off once you realised you *should* have brushed it – THAT is what her hair was… only completely void of colour.
- Oh and the thing on her face that made her look as though she’d tripped and fallen into Amy Childs’ vagina…(or onto, I guess…regardless, who the hell has a vajazzled face??)
And the men/boys asked had to say which they’d rather… snog, marry or avoid her… predictably, the result was a resounding ‘avoid’ – although I would have thought the law of averages would state they’d have found a few guys who – well to be frank, would snog just because she looked pretty much a sure thing… but I guess those results are removed from the score, otherwise what would be the point?
So anyway, Miss-middle is humphing at the fact she is being made to miss her DVD for this, I am thinking about all the things I could be doing instead and Child One is squealing something about if we hang on GLC are going to be on, she promises and we can’t miss them, we have to all watch it… I have to say, I was intrigued to see what would be created of them… not only that, but if we turned off it meant the time spent watching thus far was just time spent watching a mediocre, pathetic excuse for television… so we waited.
Now here’s the thing… I am sure they don’t dress that way all the time… I mean, the whole chav thing is just an act, right? I hope it is – and have always assumed it is… if I’m wrong, well… then I worry for them all.
So that said, I can see the irony in how they were transformed. The setup was that the computer which creates the new look quite likes Take That and since they are a band and GLC are a band, that was the look for them…
So did they look like the Take Twats? No… not even vaguely resembling a poorly constructed tribute act… in fact, the impression they gave was that it was 10pm and a YFU disco somewhere was turning out for the evening.
But it was good to see them enter into the spirit of the show…which was incredibly funny indeed!
Oh and a shameless plug for their brilliant “Half Man, Half Machine”
So I will add that here - cos it's brill and they don't get anywhere near enough mainstream air time:
*Just to clarify for those who have been in touch, I was aware this isn't a new show, but I wanted to write about it, so I did... on TV right now makes it topical enough for me to talk about it! KThxBii!*
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