Sunday Summary 29/01

I’ll be honest; I am closing this week in Quandary Lane, somewhere just off the intersection with Indecision Street.

There are a couple of things I have been working on of late of which I am quite proud and would really like to include here; I am concerned though because the subject matter is … well, it’s crude, sweary and likely to offend some… but I know some of you will like it as much as I do… so do I drag this blog into a pit of iniquity and risk losing some of you for the sake of sharing a few pieces of work?

I have been trying to re-write in a less -I guess graphic would be the right word- way… but I just can’t see the funny in it when it has been watered down; and were I writing a guide on how to be funny, I am fairly sure step one would be something along the lines of writing things which seem funny to yourself.

In terms of achievements this week:

• Not that I am number-driven, but my visitor stats have reached an all-time high here this week. Don’t get me wrong, I have done the research and know exactly how I could have hundreds of people passing by this blog on a daily basis; the steps I would need to take though would take me away from what I really want this blog to be, so I choose to plod along in my own way; and it’s always fabulous to be able to stick two fingers at the ‘experts’!
• Whilst TV and radio seems to hold little that is new right now, I have been looking further afield. I know some of you are tiring of my constant Welsh references, but there is some fabulous stuff to be found there right now. Starting with the brilliant “Gwlad yr Astra Gwyn” which I reviewed earlier this week and “Elis James Pantheon of Heroes” which is to follow (well, the review is ready to upload, just that I have to select a sample file to upload with it, which is proving tricky when the entire thing is so bloody funny!) amongst other things. I am trying to cover things which aren’t being covered on quite literally every review site, mostly because we do all become creatures of habit and I would like to help you break that even for just half an hour!
• There has been something of a resurrection of some old favourites on the BBC IPlayer – in particular, sitcoms Everyone Quite Likes Justin and Claire in the Community as well as Chris Addison’s The Ape That Got Lucky, sketch show The End of the World Show … the list is endless, so take a look for yourself at the comedy section of the listings and see if your old favourite is there.
• I have completed a huge chunk this week of that darker piece I have been referring to… I will try to post some sort of abridgment here, but I am not sure how that will work out without losing the full context. To be honest, with this being a fairly surreal piece, I am not sure whether to see it written down makes it seem a little silly… as a spoken word piece, it works really well, though! (I guess you’ll have to just take me at my word on that!)
• Oh, I finally filed my tax return too! That’s got to count as an achievement I think!!

So another pretty good week in spite of near zero sleep and general apathy… imagine where I could be by now if were a little more driven, eh?

Another something to think on, I guess!

And because I love it… here’s a clip from Everyone Quite Likes Justin, written by Justin Moorhouse and Jim Poyser.

This clip features Justin Moorhouse, Susan Cookson, Paul Copely and Lloyd Langford:

A Matter of Politics

Generally, I avoid making intentional political statement. Not through any deliberate avoidance of the subject, more a lack of confidence in my own opinion I guess, that and that I really feel my own political stance is of little consequence, there being others far better qualified to express and analyse the thoughts and opinions of the population.

I have in my time encountered a great many people who hold blindly to the all-politics-is-bullshit ethos; those who refuse to vote because ‘voting makes no difference’; who will hate on a politician simply because of their role in society rather than their opinions or actions; those who shout loudest about the way ‘the system’ does not give enough of what they want and only benefits others. These people, it will not surprise you to learn, grill my goat in the worst way possible. If you refuse to participate in a system designed to (usually) give voice to the majority you cannot complain about it not performing in the way you want – END OF!!

A short time ago, I discussed the important role comedy had played in my own political education and I have since learned this is the case for many other people brought up in similarly apolitical and disenchanted households. Off the back of that particular post and the commissioned article which had led to the investigation, I began to look at things in a different way and looked for new sources of comedic political statement.

And here is where I started to realise the bigger problem. We had only three, then four, later still (occasionally) five television channels, four national radio stations and one local. Those and a far smaller selection of newspapers was the full extent of availability of information and entertainment; thus we often ended up watching things which would not ordinarily hold our interest and become informed on more diverse subject matter. Nowadays, with a 24-hour bombardment of hundreds of television and radio channels and the internet yelling incessantly from the corner of the room we can always find exactly what we want; so if politics does not interest you, it can be avoided quite easily. We truly have become an ADHD society, unable to watch more than a few seconds of anything before deciding “not for me!” and moving on.

I am perfectly aware, of course, that it is this same response that has many of you landing here now as you frantically jab at the “next blog” button looking for something worth reading. If this is the case and you are still with me, I feel I should acknowledge your efforts, so Thank You!

But back to point…

If we are to seek out our politically-based comedy, how do we firstly know where to look and secondly encourage the disaffected to also find it?

The answer, as with most things in modern society, possibly lies in the social networks. In a spirit of double standards which seems to be very much the model nowadays, I find myself loathing the loss of my own privacy brought by the new ticker feed whilst praising it for the fact I see every click of the ‘like’ button by my friends and it is that very feature that has led me into my current phase of renewed interest in political statement and satirical comedy. I noted that a friend regularly ‘liked’ posts by the comedian Tiernan Douieb and soon found myself subscribing to his blog, checking out some of his work online and taking more of an interest in politics off the back of his commentary. Incidentally, Tiernan Douieb has recently started a blog at the news site, Huffington Post which you should really check out! Another friend whose posts I generally pay little attention to was posting many links to a particular video to which I eventually succumbed. In reality, this person is not one known for her sense of humour and possibly believes whole-heartedly in every word of the video concerned, but regardless I found it funny… and in one of those rare Youtube journeys that ended in a positive place, I want to share a brilliant video of that same comedy character, Sir Ian Bowler:



So I guess the message for today is to pretend like it’s 1985, find the thing which interests you least and start your own google journey… or pay greater attention to what your facebook/twitter/tumblr friends are up to… or to be slightly deeper:

If you wish to express an opinion about immigrants, the benefits system, how we all pay too much for fuel, taxes being too high, wages being too low, schools performing badly, kids being given limited options/too much freedom, bankers and/or politicians receiving too high a wage and too many ‘extras’ or any similar bandwagon statements of opinion you have to contribute more than a re-hashed Daily Mail headline… so teach yourself something before you speak out. What’s that quote often misattributed to Twain? (or some would say “attributed to”, I think it depends on your source) …something about keeping quiet and having people think you a fool vs speaking and proving them correct… it would be relevant to professionally quote that now, but I have already spent longer than intended writing this after a simple exercise in transcription became a major re-write so we shall assume you all know the one I mean rather than trawling off on another Google voyage!

In short, if you think there is a chance you could be one of those people who after the riots of the past summer were claiming a political reason for their actions in spite of not having a clue what they were talking about: really, stop now. Do not speak. No. Stop. Not one word.

You know the ones… we all watched them and laughed at their stupidity… well, I hope you did anyway! Those claiming that they had a right to take a 3D television as recompense for the taxes they were paying out of their benefits; those declaring that rioting was a nation making themselves heard in spite of not knowing what it was they were trying to say; those who believed that somehow their actions were going to change the government stance on immigration. Listening to interviews with participants trying to justify their actions with such an outpouring of misinformation really grated at me at the time. Even now with so much time passed, I am getting angry again just remembering them….

So thank you, people. I was feeling kinda good today, but giving you all something worthwhile to read has really quashed my nice.


Find a happy place…find a happy place…find a happy place

Getting Your Sag On

I saw quite possibly the most ridiculous sight ever this morning!

It was pouring with rain as I returned home from town and walking towards me was a youngster on his way to college (well, he had books… ) battling to keep the hood of his sweatshirt up against the blustery wind. That was not the ridiculous thing, although it is peculiar bothering to struggle so with an item of clothing not at all waterproof… but anyway:

He was also wearing black low-rise jeans and a pair of black boxers with a picture of *a* Muppet character… note I do not know which; it would have been indecent to have looked too carefully since he was little more than a child, but I am sure I could have easily seen had I felt so inclined. I know it is not a new look, but this was by far the lowest I have seen a pair of jeans go without gravity taking over. And I have to say, for a moment even the poor boy himself seemed concerned as he frantically scrabbled to hold onto both his hood and his trousers whilst simultaneously supporting the bag slung across his shoulder. I would have laughed aloud, were it not for the mum-instinct kicking in and feeling just a *little* sorry for the poor kid!

So I am sure you know where this particular middle-aged rant is going… I don’t even need to say it, do I?

• If your mum is still buying your pants for you (and his clearly is!)
  : Pull your bloody trousers up!
  
• If you can feel the rain and/or wind on your tackle as you battle the elements
  : Pull Your Bloody Trousers Up!
  
• If you need to walk like you’ve
  
  1. Cr@pped yourself
     
  2. Ridden forty miles into town on the back of a donkey
     
  3. Cycled over a mile of cobbles with a flat tyre
     
  4. Spent the entire preceding night embracing a new lifestyle choice
  : PULL YOUR BLOODY TROUSERS UP!
  
  

I am not a narrow-minded person. I can appreciate that fashion changes and that things we find ridiculous are cool to today’s youths in the same way that our own fashions were beyond the comprehension of our parents … I do not need to look far for a reminder of that fact as I think back over my own teenaged years and the amount of stresses my choice caused my parents. I am reminded in particular of having a skirt purchased on my behalf at an open-air market and being made to change in the back of our three-wheeler car as my father was embarrassed by the clothes I had chosen to wear on that day – the irony of that situation was lost on me at the time! And I do admit that the low-rise jean, on the right person can look less than ridiculous; in fact, having gone off on a free-image search for a picture to accompany this post I have to say that there are some men who look mighty fine with a classy pair of hipster jeans barely clinging to their lower torso… but the lower the jeans fall, the greater the chance you look less of a hunk and more of a dick… that’s just the way it is, I’m afraid!

So if your jeans are more no-rise than low-rise, for pity’s sake
: PULL YOUR BLOODY TROUSERS UP!

Ethically Challenged

I know you will have looked at the image accompanying this post and be thinking “Here we go again!” but I promise, this is not just another post about the luscious Mr Corcoran… there is a bigger issue here altogether which has really got me irked.

I set off on one of those peculiar Google journeys this morning… I wasn’t even looking for him, I promise… I was happily researching a completely unrelated topic when I saw the name pop up in a result, not a page of any consequence to my research, but today being a fairly productive one thus far I thought I deserved a little diversion… then I find myself on another search tangent, which eventually had me at this Ebay listing for Chris Corcoran's Random Thoughts:



Even those amongst you (how?) who are as yet unfamiliar with the book itself can clearly see the label: £1.99… that is all this book costs… yet this store is selling it on for a whopping £4.69.

“Fair enough,” you say, “the seller has to cover costs” – um, no actually… because firstly this seller is clearly representing a book store given the huge volume of stock he is carrying so is even making a profit by selling at £1.99. Also, his allowance of £2.99 for postage is MORE than it costs to ship from the UK to the US… I checked...and the packaging itself is going to cost pennies to someone mailing out a high volume of goods so what is the justification for blatantly ripping people off in this way? Especially given that these US buyers could easily order from Amazon for $0.68! (In itself another irritation… sixty-eight cents for all that effort! Gah!!)

The thing is it isn’t just the buyer being sold short here; whilst the prospective buyers are paying double the value of this book is anyone mailing off a cheque to Mr C in recompense for the inflated royalties? Um, doubt it!

And don’t think I am only complaining because it is this book in particular, it’s just that I noticed it because I know the book; truly, it would have irritated the crap out of me whatever book it may have been… but you will have to take me at my word on that one!

I am all for free enterprise and people being allowed to earn a living, but this really takes the piss… in a BIG way!

I mean, is it really so different to someone who buys a DVD, copies it and sells both on? The financial boost to the seller is exactly the same, yet only one is technically illegal. Time for artists to make a stand, I feel!

Sunday Summary 22/01

It’s been a funny old week for us at FE-HQ! The hub-creature and child-shaped people were all wiped out with the flu… which of course meant more running around than usual for me! Not good since I was hit with a minor version of their virus later in the week. Spending a day with no other symptom that a husky voice, I thought I was getting off lightly, but it seems not, since my energy has been zapped and I am now stuck with the worst case of vertigo ever! But I have done some work regardless, because that’s the level of commitment you can expect from me!

Highlights of the week:

• I had plenty of peace as no-one wants to visit the Plague House!
  
• I managed to set an all-time record for reading Chris Corcoran’s Random Thoughts … 34 minutes, don’t you know! And still laughed aloud throughout… really it doesn’t get old at all!
  
• I did some more work on a particularly dark project which is panning out to be something I am really proud of! (more on that another time, though!)
  
• I finally figured out a way to (legally) include content other than that from Youtube, so can better highlight my reviews now!
  
• Having a heap of downtime, I was able to complete a batch of reviews and an abridgment of a bigger piece to include here
  
• I have managed to spend some time tidying up the blog, adding media to posts without it and coding in the all-new “Related Posts” widget… what do you thnk?
  

There’s a load of other stuff that’s gone well this week… far too much to go into really, but you get into picking apart every small aspect of life and it’s just ridiculous really!

Let’s just say that in spite of the viral attack, this week has been a good one!

And because it really made me laugh, I want to share this with you!

A new show written by and starring Jason Byrne, starting Saturday 4th Feb at 10pm on Radio Two.

Gwlad yr Astra Gwyn

I doubt any of you will have caught this show, but really you must.

Ok; it is in Welsh, but to be honest I think if a person is so narrow-minded that they will avoid things just because they might have to read a subtitle or two they are restricting themselves in the worst way.

As a person new to speaking Welsh, I have to say the best thing by far for me was that there was no complexity in the language, so it was easy to keep up with, but I am aware this makes me a niche market! If I were to have a complaint it would be that this programme didn’t have subtitles ‘yn Gymraeg’ because I find that helps!

But this is not a Welsh review, so I’ll get to the point…

It’s a simple premise:

Trefor runs a taxi service, aided by his unseen sister on the radio. The show is shot entirely inside the taxi as we meet his regular customers going about their daily lives. The characters we meet are extremely funny and there is a high energy to the programme, with almost the feel of a sketch show; possibly testament to the show’s origin as part of a sketch show itself, but regardless it keeps a good pace throughout.

The humour is puerile, crude and base, but is hilariously so, drawing the viewer into Trefor’s world and making us feel very much a part of every fare.

Trefor is brilliantly played by Rhodri Meilir, who will be best known to English audiences from BBC appearances in My Family and Dr Who but has a huge range of credits on Welsh-language television and there are a few other familiar faces amongst the cast of customers.

It is a brilliant show! You should know by now that I do not say anything I don’t mean, so click the piccy below to watch online, or catch it on Sky channel 134 on Thursday nights at 10pm.







Update:5th Oct 2012

Series two is currently airing on Wednesday nights at 9.30pm with repeats on Fridays at 11.35pm. This new offering is every bit as funny as the first series, so be sure to check it out!

That is all!

House of Rooms

I tried to come into watching this void of any preconceptions… something thankfully made far easier by its being so completely different than could possibly be expected that the moment it started I forgot all about Milton’s fantastic stand-up and was whisked away into his little world.

Being a surrealist at heart, I loved the bizarreness of the whole affair as we see the down-beaten Milton struggle to cope with the popularity of new tenant Paul, especially from his love interest, Alice, and has a brilliantly thought-out sub-plot I shan’t detail for fear of ruining it for you!

I will be honest, there were parts of it which put me in mind of ‘Flight of the Conchordes’… not for the content but for the general ambience of the show, with subtle sound effects and the occasional musical backing track. Not that I consider that a bad thing, by a long stretch… Conchordes is fabulous! Suffice it to say that if you liked one, you would most likely feel the same way about the other!

To my mind, Jones proved brilliantly that his one-liner style can fit perfectly into a sitcom with script which is absolutely hilarious in the most understated way.

As a pilot offering, I really hope this becomes a full series at some point… I for one will be very much looking forward to it!


Click the image to view the show on 4oD

Stella

Stella is a brilliant new comedy drama written by and starring Ruth Jones. Jones’ character is a single mother trying to work hard to provide for herself and her children in spite of the issues life throws in her way.

Ok, if you have been waiting on this review to decide whether to watch this series or not, you will be disappointed to have missed the first few episodes! Not to worry, though, I am sure they will be repeated at some point and one of the joys of this show is that you really can just step in anywhere so no need for an extensive catch-up session; there are no complexities in the plot, no twists or surprises - it really is quite a simple story of one woman struggling to do her best by her family against all the normal stresses of modern life.

This show is equally hilarious and poignant, giving me personally many a teary moment of empathy towards our eponymous heroine, played brilliantly by Ruth Jones. It is always a tricky act to follow a hugely successful project such as Gavin and Stacey but Jones has managed it perfectly with this offering, being both beautifully written and really well executed.

I personally love the backdrop, too, as we see the amazing Welsh scenery – and I know, you will think I am biased, but honestly I do believe that it further adds to the dichotomy of the show in that we see this almost idyllic scene in spite of which there are people really struggling to get by. It yells to me of a deeper message about taking note of our surroundings and being grateful for what we have rather than lamenting what we don’t… but this may just be incidental! It has often been said though that I think too deeply about things which really do not matter!

The cast are all fantastic, playing their characters wonderfully to the point where even exaggerated traits seem perfectly normal.

I really struggle to find a weak point in this series at all, so watch and enjoy!

You can watch videos of the show here: Sky One.com Stella Videos and new episodes air on Fridays at 9pm.

Zombie Apocalypse

I know, reviews promised… but my head is far too fuzzy, so for now make do with my ramblings instead. In case you are worrying; no, I do not have the flu which has floored everyone else… thankfully! I awoke yesterday feeling just fine to the sound of the phone ringing and as I answered thought “That’s not me!” At some point overnight, I had developed a peculiar huskiness you normally couldn’t achieve without blackened lungs and a shrivelled liver. With no other symptoms than a vague loss of energy, I found myself in a position where running a premium rate sexline suddenly seemed a very viable business opportunity. Today, however, that loss of energy has become an all-round vagueness, my head feels as though it is stuffed with bubblewrap with an over-excited child popping a few cells just often enough to cause discomfort and whilst the sultry voice remains, along with it comes a breathlessness and chesty cough that has others cowering away in fear… so not so sexy then!

It is very much feeling as though we are living in one of those apocalypse movies… I stocked up on groceries on Monday ‘just in case’ and we quarantined ourselves in order to prevent a spread – now we are at the point of preserving stock and rationing food so as to avoid going out… not that I am too ill for a trip to Tesco, but I really do not want to!

But anyway, in case you were worrying at the lack of posts, that is the situation here; hope you don’t catch the virus from reading this!

The radio is keeping me going at the moment, so I will share this with you all… because having listened far too many times to count, I am still laughing every time I hear it… a little Andrew Lawrence:

Andrew Lawrence discusses being described as 'Misanthropic': From his radio show 'What To Do If You Are Not Like Everybody Else'

Fruity Ponderings and Flu Avoidance

I feel as though I am living inside an old vaporub jar at the moment – that smell really permeates everything, doesn’t it!

I’ve managed to be cold-free for something like fourteen years now and really do not plan on succumbing to the one currently flooring the hub and kids; so this morning I did what any sensible person should do and went shopping!

Don’t panic, I’ve not been hit with an attack of spontaneous materialism, it was a purely survivalist excursion to nowhere more exotic than Lidl! Don’t judge me, though; I do not have the constitution to fight off pensioners at the market and Lidl’s is very much the next best thing in terms of gathering fruit and veg which can be eaten on the day of purchase – besides which, the benefit-bound aren’t even out of bed yet, so I can head there without fear of encountering any unsavouries! So I have stocked up on plenty of vitamin loaded, virus beating yummies and am now enjoying a (rather late) breakfast of hot buttered toast, grapefruit and ‘proper’ chocolate (94% cocoa - because I am hardcore!!)

And much like floating in an oarless canoe toward a waterfall, I now drift effortlessly towards my point:

Just who was it who made the decisions as to how we should eat certain foods? I don’t mean people coming up with recipes, but the real stuff – things we eat with minimal interference besides chopping, peeling etc.

Why do we play at the Giant’s teaparty eating grapefruit with a tiny spoon whilst we segment oranges of the same size to eat with our hands?
Why is it considered appropriate to sprinkle sugar over a grapefruit and eat it, whilst equally unpalatable fruits such as lemons are resigned to the rank of ingredient/decoration?
Who decided pineapple and coconut were worth the effort needed to reach the flesh?
Who declared the grapefruit a breakfast food, tomato and cucumber to be used for salads and squashes to be vegetables?

And most importantly, who the hell ever thought a piece of fruit could constitute dessert?


These are the things I found myself pondering over whilst packing away my purchases and painstakingly scoring my grapefruit.



In fact, I was reminded a few days ago of being given my first pomegranate as a youngster. As baby and I walked home from school, we caught up with the little girl next door. She was eating one as she walked (hence her being so slow that we caught up with her!) and baby asked her “Are you using a spoon?” “No, it’s a pomegranate fork!” – Actually, it was a chip-shop fork, but I’ll let her off since the poor girl has probably never seen the inside of a chippy! It seemed a strange thing though to give a child as part of their packed lunch… what ten year old has the stamina to eat a pomegranate? I was probably around twelve when I first saw one and was given a threaded needle with which to eat it. We were hardcore beach scavengers, ‘catching’ a lot of winkles and such so eating with a needle wasn’t a big deal but nevertheless I soon bored of the repetitive process: choose, spike, eat, choose, spike, eat, choose, spike, drop… it seemed unending and eventually I just couldn’t be bothered so had an apple instead. Coming from the home of “waste not, want not” though, my fruit was placed in the breadbin and I was expected to return to it as often as necessary until it was gone; day three, I cast it over the garden wall to ‘feed the birds’ living in the trees beyond because nothing is worth that much effort!

But anyway – such ponderings have me lusting after a strong cup of tea and I still have to complete those reviews I have promised you all. (Plus I am working on a contingency in case I should find myself floored by this strain!)

That and you find when there is a case of flu within the household that people visit less and "Can't stay". Add a second patient and they will only chat on the doorstep until by victim number four you are completely in quarantine... so knowing my time will be my own for a couple of days at least I should also have time for another read of this:



Did I mention, it's a great book ?! ...

Sunday Summary 15/01

I do have some proper posts to put up later, but I know those of you only here after the closure of my other blog are used to the Sunday Summary and as such here ‘tis! (not that I make any promises to maintain the regularity or promptness you are used to, but I shall try!)

So:

Highlights of the week:

• A brilliant new focus which has me with a brimming folder of character profiles, new ideas, different ways of making old ideas work etc.
  
• I have developed a new resolve after whiling away some of the time I had allocated for not completing my tax return on calculating the costs of freebies over the last year – and as such sent a few people on their way. Odd to call this a highlight I know but in actual fact it’s a mark of a newly strengthened character, since the ability to say no has long eluded me (read into that what you will!)
  
• The re-enforcement of just how fantastic my girls are as they (the older ones, anyway) tried to persuade me that I should take the trip I was planning for the summer and broke down exactly how they would cope without me! (I’m not going, because I can’t justify the huge cost for just a week away, but regardless the fact they are so supportive is amazing!)
  
• I know I have said it before, but I have found the perfect house! And it falls in a location approved by the Dark Destroyer of Dreams, so even better! (oh and I will be in Wales in a few weeks; hopefully it will still be available then so I can go have a snoop!)
  And for relevance here:
  
• Some real moments of funny in:
  
  • Some time of reminiscence as well as a few laughs from my rediscovery of the hilarious Harold Lloyd
    
  • Obviously, The Rhod Gilbert Show which was absolutely hysterical this week – which great though that is, meant I was unable to work whilst listening as I usually do… but I needed to laugh more than I needed to write!
    
  • Stella, the fab new comedy drama from Ruth Jones
    
  • House of Rooms – this week’s brilliant channel four offering from Milton Jones
    
  • Some true old-school chuckles on Sky Arts in the form of Saturday Night Live episodes from the late ‘70s and the fabulous Monty Python films
    
  • The return to the Iplayer of series one of ‘What To Do’!
    

So all-in-all, a pretty good week as they go!

Now to complete the coding on those other posts and make them ready to upload…

Silent Movies Rediscovered

You know how every once in a while you stumble across something and it just re-ignites a dormant passion you’d long forgotten about?

This is where I am after a recent research journey for a commission piece on silent movies.

It had never occurred too much until a conversation with one of the child-shaped people, but when I grew up there were often silent movies on the television; nowadays they seem to never be on unless part of a clip-run during a documentary.

Laurel and Hardy were always lauded as the best during my childhood, but I never much liked them; possibly part of my anti-hype nature (Yes, maybe my hipster personality started that long ago!) but I really do not remember why now, nor is it particularly important; the films I loved were those of Harold Lloyd. And so it was that during my research for this article, I found myself whiling away hours watching and re-watching Youtube clips featuring some of the funnier moments of his movie career.

I am not going to analyse the whys and wherefores – it seems quite obvious really that with verbal comedy there is a delay as we wait for the build up to an inevitable punchline but silent comedy has to keep hitting to hold the focus of the audience hence we are given far more laughs per minute. Of course, being denied a punchline means we are also denied the big laugh at the end, with these films often just fizzling out but I personally think it’s worth the trade-off.

I do worry about the fact that there no longer seems the chance to view these films en masse; with the huge volume of television channels available to us, you would think they’d be shown somewhere and add that most cinemas nowadays have multiple screens so could surely show older films alongside new releases. When you think about the fact that an entire generation has absolutely no awareness of the existence of silent movies, not just the fabulous comedies but such aging classics as Ace of Hearts, Camille and of course the amazingly dark Nosferatu it makes you wonder what will become of these volumes over the next twenty years. Will anyone remember them or will they be lost forever?

But anyway… little whinge over!

And as a reminder of (or introduction to) some of the work of the utterly amazing Harold Lloyd, here’s a little clip video for you:



Incidentally, for those who are interested, there are a huge amount of 'proper' old films available in full on You-tube... Nosferatu being one! I know what I will spend my weekend doing!

Character Profiling...

It’s a tricky balance sometimes, the need to lock oneself in a room alone to write conclusively vs the obvious need to be out finding things to write about.

My previous existence managing a sports facility gave me plenty of character ideas and stories to tell, but provided little in the way of constructive time to actually commit any of them to formal text; thus I found myself in search of a voluntary role in order that I can simply step away and write when I feel the need to.

I spend one day a week working at a brilliant place which runs computer-based courses for all, teaches life skills to those let down by a failing education system and assists the unemployed in making themselves employable; searching for jobs, completing applications, preparation for interview and so on.

I have the opportunity to meet a huge range of people of different class, nationality and intellect and thoroughly enjoy every minute of the work I do as much for the amazing array of characters I encounter as for the chance to put my skills to better use than the usual waffle and twad I churn out!


At the present time, I am writing at my previous place of employment; no other reason for this than “Because I can”. It tends to be my go-to place; somewhere to hide from those who feel working from home means having nothing to do but hand out free coffee and chatter all day; somewhere to be around people who no longer ask “when will you?” “why didn’t you” “couldn’t you just?”; somewhere to simply write for the hell of it. Alright, they do throw me the odd free coffee from time to time, but I put in a lot of hours for them over the six years I worked here, I earned a few coffees at least!

So here I am; writing character profiles on those around me; making judgments as to their habits and hobbies; inventing jobs and families based purely on the fact they have chosen to come out today in a red jacket or that they arrived in a beaten down Vauxhall Corsa.

There are times I suddenly realise I am knuckling down and taking my work more seriously and this really is one of them. For the most part, people think I spend my days hiding in the office doing nothing more constructive than refreshing my social networks; and I’ll admit, there are times I realise I could take on far more work were I better able to focus and aim for a faster turnover. Spending a couple of hours scribbling in my notebook, though, and finding myself with a heap of transcribing to do and some new ideas to work up I can see just how differently I am coming at the whole process than this time last year. Maybe this is the year I actually decide to package myself into one of those neat little straight-edged, pointy cornered boxes people are so keen on... or maybe not.

Fairy steps, I think... a few character profiles and a couple of really exciting new ideas are really not enough to warrant choosing a genre, are they? ... especially given that the new ideas are so very different from one another!

But changes are afoot, nevertheless...

As always, watch this space!


Seriously, keep watching....


Don't look away, now!

Ambition-fuelled Nonsensical Whimsy

I am not quite sure what has happened to me this year.

You will gather from my “I hate New Year” post that I don’t do the renewed vigour, the gritty determination to make more of my time, decisions to lose weight and get healthier or any other such clichéd resolution-type bullshit.

Why, then, am I now writing this at 9:15am, having already cleaned the kitchen, eaten breakfast, sorted some paperwork, packed away a little of Christmas and finally finished a deadline-free article I had hoped to complete last month but for it being a difficult one to write on?

Oh, and here is another thing… I went for a run the night before last, which I’ve not really had time to do since some time in November and did some pilates and a bit of Wii fit last night – I soon put paid to the Wii fit smugness though: “You’ve not been here for ages, fatty! Do you want some workout tips? – Oh my bad, you’ve lost 16 pounds since you played last, maybe you don’t need me after all… I’ll be under the coffee table should you change your mind!” Not that I particularly feel the need to lose weight, but it’s still good that I have. In fact, losing it when you aren’t trying is a real bonus; a freebie from karma to me… so in your face to all those people who are spending the next two or three weeks at the gym whilst nagging at those of us who prefer to workout somewhere void of the condescension of being surrounded by the young and healthy-without-even-trying as we sweat, pant and wheeze our way through the most sedate circuits we can create.

I found myself writing a list, too; a “things to do this year” type of list. It’s not a particularly creative one, nor is it anything too taxing… in fact there is no reason any of the things on the list are not attainable… but I am worried it smacks a little of a resolution of sorts.

You see, I do always find myself with accidental resolutions.

One year, I sat alone at the turn of the clock having had to stay up for the inevitable family phone calls and just cried. As with all years, there had been plans, but they fizzled out as one-by-one everyone else fell asleep until by the turn of the calendar I had been moping in my own misery for almost two hours; so I cracked. I was horrendously overweight at the time, although did not care much about it and started to wonder about how many calories I had consumed in the bottle of cheap celebratory fizz I had drunk alone so hit the internet in search of calorific values of various wines etc to find myself landing eventually on what turned out to be quite a life-changing website . I read about how this website could change everything I hated about my life by teaching me to create healthy habits. The website also had a calorie-counter, into which you could enter the food you had in a day and it would give a full nutritional breakdown.

I hadn’t wanted to lose weight really; I knew I needed to, but there is a certain comfort in being bigger. Mainly in my case, as I was to learn much later, the fact that by staying fat (read: unattractive) I could go out without attracting unwanted attention from other guys, so did not need to think too much about whether or not I was happy with how deeply morose my home-life was. That said I found myself signing up, as much to use the calculator to work out my alcohol-calories for the day as anything else and found myself working through the stages to self-betterment.

Being as anti-cliché as I am, I was determined not to start a diet; especially on New Year. I was also very much of the impression that in order for any life-style change to stick it had to be as much like the norm as possible and as such, I did nothing to change my life initially, choosing to simply log my normal diet and activity just to see where I was; and that was the shocker.

In order to lose a healthy two pounds a week, the system told me I needed to consume 1250 calories a day; excluding that New Year’s Eve, I was taking on around 250. In fact, over the first two weeks, I was only able to break 300 on one day – and that was a day I had felt immensely stuffed and lethargic. I had always taken great pride in having beaten an eating disorder completely unaided at the age of 17, but the more I looked at it the more I realised that in actual fact all I had beaten was the need to weigh myself in fifteen minute intervals. At this point I was thirty years old, weighed almost two hundred pounds and decided enough was indeed enough.

The website had the most amazing wealth of information and experts you could chat with on-demand. It was (and still is!) completely free to use which amazed me, having seen how much some other sites were charging for a far less helpful service. I found myself learning about starvation mode, about the nutritional necessity of specific minerals and most importantly for me which foods offered high calories without adding fat, sugars, salt and other nasties. I gradually brought my intake up until eight months into the regime I found myself celebrating a first full week of hitting my target calories every day. That in itself was a big day for me, but also represented the most important message the site endorses; “Slowly, slowly; catchy monkey.” You cannot change your life in one day, it takes time. By starting with the small target of taking breakfast each day, I got into the habit of eating. Once that was set, I determined that breakfast had to be before ten which meant that I was starting to get hungry by mid-afternoon so would eat lunch. I had not felt hungry in such a long time, so that was a huge achievement for me and over time I was able to build up to regularly taking three meals, with a handful of nuts or seeds in the evening to punch the calorie target. I learnt so much about fitness, nutrition, goal-setting and more importantly about myself and I am eternally grateful for that.

But it does not change the fact that without intending to, I had stumbled into a weight-loss resolution.

Other years have passed in a similar fashion, like the year the girls and I had seen in the New Year singing along with the music channels on TV and had decided to have more family time, so opted for a weekly “Family Night”. That drifted off the radar after a few weeks when it became more a “mummy and baby” night.

There was also the year I had a New Year phone call from my gran, which had left me determined to make more effort to visit my older family members more often; but time was hard to come by and I never really managed to visit anyone.

And the year I decided to clean the house whilst awaiting my mum’s call and happened across my book of lists; I decided I no longer needed lists, so threw the book away and determined to never list anything again. That was the worst year ever; I forgot everything, was horrendously disorganised and life just became immensely chaotic until the moment I started to plan a birthday party for one of the kids and just knew without a list it would be the worst party ever.

You see, I accidentally make life-changing decisions at New Year and head down the pathway to Resolution-ville without a second thought.


And this year?

I seem to be accidentally working out

And losing weight

And taking a more organised approach to my work

And after having looked back through my list, gained some sort of ambition and drive unheard of before.

So now I have to make a decision:

Do I determine to achieve all I want and hope for success?

Or…

Do I throw the list away now before the thought of failure and Clichédom become too much to bear?

New Year Aspirations

New Year befalls us again!

And so it is that I once again find myself stumbling down the pathway into Clichédom with accidental intentions of self-improvement and an end to bad habits.

I hate the concept of resolutions and work hard to avoid them; nevertheless as the clock strikes midnight, calendars are opened and a new chapter begun I always find myself alone; stuffed from the over-indulgence of a meal and a bottle of wine intended for five which I have taken alone, maudlin from the heartbreak of making plans which as always come to nought and far too introspective to trusted in charge of my own life for any period of time. Thus I find myself listing all that is wrong with my life, all that I need to change and most importantly all that I have the power to change in an attempt to make the most of the next year.

And yes, I understand that decisions made tonight will leave me feeling virtuous for few weeks before realising that nothing I can do will change the things about my life that most need alteration and resigning to yet another failure… but still I know I will awaken tomorrow in the midst of an accidental detox plan with a beautifully formatted list of hopes and dreams for the coming twelve months (or more realistically, days).

But anyway …

I truly hope 2012 brings each and every one of you all the health, wealth and happiness you deserve.