Getting Your Sag On

I saw quite possibly the most ridiculous sight ever this morning!

It was pouring with rain as I returned home from town and walking towards me was a youngster on his way to college (well, he had books… ) battling to keep the hood of his sweatshirt up against the blustery wind. That was not the ridiculous thing, although it is peculiar bothering to struggle so with an item of clothing not at all waterproof… but anyway:

He was also wearing black low-rise jeans and a pair of black boxers with a picture of *a* Muppet character… note I do not know which; it would have been indecent to have looked too carefully since he was little more than a child, but I am sure I could have easily seen had I felt so inclined. I know it is not a new look, but this was by far the lowest I have seen a pair of jeans go without gravity taking over. And I have to say, for a moment even the poor boy himself seemed concerned as he frantically scrabbled to hold onto both his hood and his trousers whilst simultaneously supporting the bag slung across his shoulder. I would have laughed aloud, were it not for the mum-instinct kicking in and feeling just a *little* sorry for the poor kid!

So I am sure you know where this particular middle-aged rant is going… I don’t even need to say it, do I?

• If your mum is still buying your pants for you (and his clearly is!)
  : Pull your bloody trousers up!
  
• If you can feel the rain and/or wind on your tackle as you battle the elements
  : Pull Your Bloody Trousers Up!
  
• If you need to walk like you’ve
  
  1. Cr@pped yourself
     
  2. Ridden forty miles into town on the back of a donkey
     
  3. Cycled over a mile of cobbles with a flat tyre
     
  4. Spent the entire preceding night embracing a new lifestyle choice
  : PULL YOUR BLOODY TROUSERS UP!
  
  

I am not a narrow-minded person. I can appreciate that fashion changes and that things we find ridiculous are cool to today’s youths in the same way that our own fashions were beyond the comprehension of our parents … I do not need to look far for a reminder of that fact as I think back over my own teenaged years and the amount of stresses my choice caused my parents. I am reminded in particular of having a skirt purchased on my behalf at an open-air market and being made to change in the back of our three-wheeler car as my father was embarrassed by the clothes I had chosen to wear on that day – the irony of that situation was lost on me at the time! And I do admit that the low-rise jean, on the right person can look less than ridiculous; in fact, having gone off on a free-image search for a picture to accompany this post I have to say that there are some men who look mighty fine with a classy pair of hipster jeans barely clinging to their lower torso… but the lower the jeans fall, the greater the chance you look less of a hunk and more of a dick… that’s just the way it is, I’m afraid!

So if your jeans are more no-rise than low-rise, for pity’s sake
: PULL YOUR BLOODY TROUSERS UP!