The Café: Sky One

Sky One have really stepped up their output lately. Here at Camp FE, we very much enjoyed the recent new comedy ‘Trollied’ which I had intended to talk about on this blog at various points, until it became too far into the series for anyone to catch up, and now we have a new offering in the form of The Cafe.

The café in question is Cyril’s, named after the late husband of the show’s matriarchal figure Mary. The café is owned by Mary’s daughter, Carol whose own daughter, Sarah helps out whilst awaiting the publication of her books for children. So far, episodes have based off-season, so things are quiet giving us the chance to get to know the characters and I would like to see it stay that way, if I am truly honest.

I have to say I absolutely love this show! That said, I do wonder how much of the appeal for me lies in the familiarity of having lived in a tourist region and worked in plenty of cafés such as this one; I have to ponder a little over whether there is as much interest from those who have never known the drear of an off-season seaside town, the tight-knit community feeling that comes of being stuck in a place that dies once autumn hits or the impossibility of a group of people tucking into a cream tea without the inevitable creamfirst/jamfirst row*.

The show is written by and stars Ralf Little and Michelle Terry and is scripted in such a beautifully understated way. There are no big gags around the corner, no moments of slapstick or cheap jokes, no drawn-out setup for an obvious ending; simply the observations of the quirks and idiosyncrasies we see as we go about life. It is a peculiarity to me that even those characters for whom we are supposed to feel little respect have such a level of realism and humility that we are just drawn completely into their world, understanding them to such a huge extent.

This series could be based in pretty much any café in any seaside town; the characters and conversations will always be the same and it is that tone of reality that makes it a truly special comedy.

You can watch the trailer for the series here and find links to watch episodes you have missed.

In terms of adding media, I would love to link directly to the show’s theme, “Beyond the Sea” sung by the brilliant Kathryn Williams but in my hours of searching I can find only one version which has really poor sound quality, so instead I am linking to another song by the same singer. She has a truly beautiful, haunting voice and I hope having her song used for this show brings her the renown she deserves.




*Whilst being a long-standing argument, I have to state that it is actually born of pure logic that cream being the more resilient substance should come first: FACT. The pressure required to remove proper quality clotted cream from the knife would always force the jam from the scone. It’s a matter of physics… I am sure if you asked a scientist, they would give you the name for the process too. And since I am on the subject… should you be lucky enough to get the crystally bits from the top of the cream – do not send it back declaring it is ‘off’, be sodding grateful… that’s the best bit! Damned grocks!

Jimmy Carr: Being Funny

There is little Jimmy Carr says that does not have me falling about laughing, although I do judge each new offering on its own merit.

This particular DVD is as one would expect: crude, juvenile and downright offensive… so it should not surprise you in the least that I loved every moment!

If you like your comedy safe and held within clearly defined boundaries, maybe this is not the DVD for you, although I am sure we can find something suitable for you in the annals of comedy history.

If you have never seen any of Jimmy Carr’s stage shows, you should be aware that his TV persona is very much “Jimmy-lite” so if you have ever felt offended by anything he has said on television, you should possibly also avoid this… or any of his other DVD’s for that matter, but then you possibly would not be bothering to read this review anyway, so not to worry!


Were I a ‘stars and rankings’ type of reviewer, I would very much put this near the top of my chart with full stars – absolutely brilliant!

Click > Buy > Watch > Laugh
‘Tis a simple process!

Twenty Questions (Halved)

I know you will think this is another procrastination ploy, but it really isn’t. In truth, I have had such an über-productive day I have time to stop and do something I have been meaning to do for a while now.

I love that so many of you send me questions from time-to-time about the blog and other stuff, so I thought I’d take a moment or two to address some of them; I thought I’d do it publicly in order to stop the same questions being asked time and again (see, a time saver not a waster!)

Why do you opt for anonymity?

In general, I write because I love to use words not because I want people to recognise me so tend to take on more ghost-writing/pseudonym work so I can write for the sake of it. In terms of this blog itself, I like that I can be really honest and open about the things I want to write about. There are certain people in the real world who do not know quite how ill the hub-person is or how bad our life gets and I really do not need the fuss that would be generated by their knowing. I prefer to just be able to knuckle down and get on with things but still have the room to make a passing reference if it feels relevant.

For all your talk of worry about the husband, you don’t sound as if you care much…

On the contrary, I do care greatly (I think you are confusing caring for love, they are two wholly different concepts!) Firstly, detachment is a great tool for hiding from negative situations and as you should know I am a great hider! Secondly, the man with whom I live is not my husband as I knew and loved him; my husband died nine years ago, leaving someone else to use his body. I made a decision at that point to either stick around and look after this new person or to bolt and leave him to fend for himself. I signed up for “sickness and health” so waited in the hope that my husband might one day return.

What is your favourite [insert noun here]?

I have no favourite film, book, comedian, DVD, animal etc… The concept of favourites is much the same as the concept of genre; it all depends on mood. To use the word favourite suggests that you will always choose that above others and I just can’t commit to that in any context. As a for instance: I love the film “The Usual Suspects”, but if I am in the mood for a good hearty laugh, I won’t find it there, so will choose something else – therefore The Usual Suspects is not my favourite film; my most read book (ignoring the blatant over-reading of Chris Corcoran’s Random Thoughts!) would be a book of poems by T.S Eliot, but that isn’t my favourite book by a long shot because I have read far more thought-provoking ones… I could go on, but I am sure you get the point!

Describe your ideal man…

I have been asked this a few times (hence it’s peculiar inclusion here!) but it is wholly irrelevant. In fact, I am only answering at all as I have been asked more than once, and that is the point of this…
So, to be glib… um, tall (very)… stunning blue eyes… maybe a bit of a beard… um… into rugby… perhaps even just the slightest bit Welsh… NOT REALLY!!
Honestly, see the previous question; were I looking for a man (which clearly I am not – even though it has been a while!!) I wouldn’t have an ‘ideal’... next question please…

How do you relax?

Believe it or not, this is my relaxation. I spend much of my time working feverishly on various projects (I’m not sure how many projects a person should ordinarily juggle, but I am currently working on 4 larger things between writing articles and doing the little jobs I’ve picked up of late) so when I am not spending time on them, I will be burying myself in something vaguely funny and writing about it here.
I do also meditate when I have the time, but can rarely find that special place nowadays as I need to keep an ear open for the hub-person. Reading and very long baths are great for a true switch-off.

Would you consider yourself an animal lover?

I’ve always found that a peculiar phrase; it conjures up an odd image indeed! But yes, I like animals. It comes mostly of growing up in the countryside, surrounded by cows, sheep and horses. We also spent a lot of evenings as a child driving around Exmoor watching the deer and ponies and as a parent I have spent pretty much the last fifteen years or so at one zoo or another so animals are very much a part of our lives. In fact, Miss Middle so loved our local zoo that we had to buy season passes as we were there almost weekly when she was younger… but before you ask; no, I don’t have a favourite animal… or zoo for that matter… but I could tell you some I don’t like!

You once described yourself as a “perpetual learner” – explain (please)

Did I? Since leaving college I have always been taking one course or another. I had wanted to go on to Uni and become a teacher, but my father forbade it, telling me it was a waste as I would only get married and have children once I left university. But I showed him! By… erm… leaving home, getting married and having children… but I have since taken an OU course towards a degree… and once life is more settled I will take the rest I need to complete. Just so I can say “Yes, I have one!”
I have also taken home study courses in psychology, accounting, child day care, project management (ironically!) and have studied Reiki, crystal therapy and am currently studying past life therapy amongst other things.
I also devote a lot of time to learning new languages. I have been learning Polish for a long time (although it is far easier now as I have the Rosetta Stone to help me!) and have learnt Welsh and a little Vietnamese (just because I can!) and because I worked with children with autism and Down’s syndrome, learnt some basic Makaton.
I do feel it is important to be constantly updating your own skill-set, so am always looking for something new to learn.

Are you a musical person?

Not sure of the context… I don’t whistle as I walk if that is what you mean.
I do love music, yes. I have a whole philosophy pertaining to music that I won’t go into here. I had music taken away from me for a few years when we were subjected to a particularly unpleasant neighbour (the long and short being that her music was always so horrendously loud that even if we tried to listen to our own, we could not hear it above hers) It is only in the last two years or so that I have felt like listening again, so have changed my tastes immensely. I do feel, though, that whilst we have memories, they are simply thoughts and pictures, whilst adding a piece of music to the memory takes you right back into the moment with all its emotions, smells and textures.
In terms of playing music, I always wanted to play the clarinet and cello but my parents could not afford lessons, who knows, maybe that will be my next “something new”… I did play the recorder (descant, treble and tenor!) in my primary school orchestra and had a keyboard I taught myself to whack out a few tunes on.

You seem to have an opinion on most things – what is your stance on piercings/tattoos?

Hehe… do I come across as opinionated? I’d like to think not…
Piercings and tattoos, eh – my opinion is that they should be mandatory, such as to stop those whinging mopes who claim everyone with a tattoo is somehow a second class citizen.
Obviously, not really – but I do believe each to their own. I personally have my ears each pierced twice and have one tattoo, with more of both planned. I do not think tattoos or piercings reflect a person’s ability to do a job, so should not be relevant to deciding whether or not to accept an application from someone, although I would question the merit of employing someone with a number of bad tattoos, simply because either: a) they do not realise they have made a poor choice in their artist and as such clearly would not have the aptitude to work at whatever role I am trying to fill or b) they did realise their artist was no good but either returned to them for more work regardless (doesn’t care enough) or went to a different artist without figuring out how they chose badly in the first place (lacks initiative and/or has very bad problem-solving skills) This to my mind is the only level of judgment that should be allowed on the basis of body art. (Oh, except if the job is, eg, in a nursery/day care centre where certain piercings could in fact be a danger, therefore it would be acceptable to request that they be removed.) I do always find it funny when you go into, for example, a DIY store and see people with yellow tape across their eyebrow… because, yes, that looks far more acceptable. When I saw a chunk of metal in your face I wondered if you had the aptitude required to take my money in exchange for a bag of nails, but with that yellow tape instead, I am sure you can do this! Careful now, don’t stab yourself in the face with them!

Honestly!!
But apart from that, I have no stance as such…

You once mentioned “losing faith” – so are you a religious person then?

No.
I am a spiritual person, there is a difference. I personally do not believe going to church makes me a better person (I have a vague recollection from my A-level days of a quote to that effect, probably by Marx, but I can’t remember it now!) In fact, if I don’t go to church, I am happier, more rested and better able to spread joy, so in that context going to church is a bad thing! I also find that a lot of the church people I encounter are extremely judgmental and condescending.
I do believe in a God-head, but as an idea, not a person. I have read a variety of religious texts and note that they are all pretty much bringing in the same stories (for instance, many religions have a story of the son of their chosen God being born of a virgin) but in my mind these stories are metaphorical rather than factual and have simply been adapted to suit the crux of the followers of that particular religion.
I have studied the Ascended Masters and hold very much to the multi-religion ideal they represent and this multi-faith approach is very much in keeping with my general eclectic style. Either way, my belief system is a simple one: live a good life, deal with the sh!t you get dealt in the best way you can, do not mistreat people or the world in which you live and your life will pretty much work out ok…. Sounds alright, wonder if I can get that on a bumper sticker?

Anyway, that’s the ten most-asked questions. If you have more, don’t be shy. I have enjoyed the challenge of answering these, so it’ll be good to do it again sometime!


Since we closed on an ideological note, I’ll leave you with this piece of excellent philosophy from the fabulous Bill and Ted:

A Letter to Santa

Whilst Christmas trends and rituals change over time, there will always be a constant: The letter to Santa.

I remember hours spent trawling through mum’s many catalogues looking for all those treasures I so desperately wanted.

I remember it being quite difficult trying to list all the things I really wanted whilst knowing I probably would not get any of them. For my parents, Christmas was a huge financial burden. If only they had realised that the only things I really wanted were the top two items on my list; those items which had been on my list every year for as long as I could remember. Yes; all I really wanted was a Mr. Frosty and an Astro Wars. Whilst Astro Wars has long since been forgotten, passed over in favour of more modern computer games, I have been desperately awaiting the day I look at the list of one of my children and see Mr Frosty, so I can cheerfully oblige and finally get to say “Yes, I own one!”, but sadly with eighteen parenting Christmases under my belt, I am starting to suspect this may never happen.

There is something great, though, about the last child growing old enough to write her list unaided. Christmas holds little enough wonderment and surprise once a person reaches adulthood, particularly in a home such as mine where I am solely responsible for all aspects of gift-buying, wrapping and opening... so the awe with which I approach opening Santa’s letter on his behalf cannot be understated (although when asked by baby had I read her letter, I of course had to deny! “No, sweet, it was addressed to Santa; I just left it to be collected!”)

So what of her wishes for this year? Well, I have to wonder if I’m not being tested; whether she has maybe reached the stage of doubt and decided she is going to see just how magical Santa actually is; partly because something on her list is an item of clothing belonging to a television character; partly because one item is simply “An Argos catalogue”; but mostly for the bizarre entry “A hard-hat for a boiled egg”.

Having spent many hours scouring some highly bizarre web-shops, I can find absolutely nothing that constitutes a hard hat for a boiled egg, the closest being this:



Which, whilst being very cute and everything just does not seem to be what she is asking for.

So my request for today: if anyone has a hotline to Santa, please ask him just what baby means and where I can buy it from!

Ta Muchly!

John Bishop: Sunshine Tour

There is no getting away from the fact that John Bishop is every ounce comic genius. That said, I do wonder how much longevity there is in the character of “Working class scouser makes good” he portrays. Yes, this DVD was very funny and although it was one I borrowed for the purpose of this review I will be buying it myself at some point, but I do feel as though he needs to come up with something new for the coming year in order to hold on to his current position as one of the best comedians on the circuit.

But I am digressing…

Plenty of new material, mixed with a little of the stuff we have been seeing on his many television appearances throughout the year, but not so much that you have that “Seen it before” feeling.

A great offering from a brilliant entertainer; most definitely worth buying and watching many times!

Greg Davies: Firing Cheeseballs at a Dog

Pretty much as one would expect, this DVD is brilliant!

Greg Davies' delivery is brilliant; methodical, deliberate and engaging; drawing the audience completely into his world and making feel complete empathy towards him.

There are a few emotional moments within this performance which I would like to think are real, although the cynical side of me would suggest that they might simply be part of the act – I have to say I would feel incredibly cheated of my own emotional investment in his tales were I to discover this were the case, though!

I have so much more to say (as I am sure you will expect!) but I am keeping these short so as to get them all done in a timely fashion!

I know people are wanting to know what to buy and Christmas is almost upon us, so I will simply close by saying that if you appreciate a good, hearty laugh this should definitely be on your Christmas list.

It's Behind You (And other such cliches!)

With Christmas fast approaching, the subject of panto becomes almost unavoidable.

I was asked back in the summer to help fine-tune a panto script for a really small group in the heart of middle-England with the main issue being: “We need time to change between appearances since there are only four of us!” I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of this; as projects go it was something different for me and did take my work in a new direction for a while, but much as I appreciate the concept of immersion therapy it did little to cure my dislike of the pantomime concept.

I appreciate the whole issue of tradition and everything, it's just that I feel panto is more for the performers than the audience. Going to the theatre shouldn’t be so much bloody hard work; yet the pantomime audience is expected to provide all the entertainment themselves whilst the actors just dick about on the stage wearing everything the wardrobe manager procured throughout the year in order to justify their stretched budget.

Perhaps it’s just my perception that’s a little screwy – I know many people who go to our town panto every year and thoroughly enjoy every moment; I just leave exhausted, thinking about how I could have gone for a run instead and still had time to do some work before everyone returned, feeling just as hot and weary yet a little better about myself.

In any case, spending almost the entire year thinking panto really has me stone-cold at the start of the run of ours here.

Most often, there is at least the lure of a celeb or two hidden within the cast. In our case, we do not even have that. What we have is “the voice of” one; and not even a proper star, either – one of those “Who?” “You know; her off that thing!” celebrities.

I guess part of that particular problem is that I don’t buy into the whole reality TV thing and those are very much the only type of stars that come to a place like this. For years now, there has been a guy wheeled out in our town for every big event lauded as a “Local hero” … now I thought this was an ironic title, since he really doesn’t have the look of a celebrity, but I discovered just a few weeks ago he really does have celebrity status from having appeared on another reality show I don’t watch some four years or so ago.

And here’s another thing: when I choose to rise above the wave of inane ‘entertainment’ that is X-Factor, Big Brother et al and seek enrichment from other sources, why is it that it is I who is made to feel like a second-class citizen when a name is thrown at me I do not recognise?
And why is it that we are made to endure these people in one show after another in spite of their complete lack of any entertaining qualities whatsoever? Case-in-point… Amy Childs - I could launch into a huge rant here, but I will say just one thing: WHAT THE FUCK!! I was astounded to see someone so vacuous appearing on panel shows – I’ll be honest, I truly thought it was a comedy character I had not yet come across (albeit not a particularly good one!) In order to illustrate my point, I want to draw a comparison with the fictional creation Gayle Tuesday (for those who remember!) but in all honesty, she had far more personality and character than the bizarre creature we are currently having paraded across our screens. Are we really all so zombified that whatever it is she offers constitutes entertainment? We do need to realise that simply being on the television is not enough to make someone a celebrity; especially in a time when it appears pretty much anyone can get themselves on!

Is it just me, or is this in fact a huge insult to those who work bloody hard to develop their skills, build a following and truly entertain their public?

Especially given that in this case in particular, the thing which has made her a ‘celebrity’ is actually something we all learned to do at the age of three.

Yes, an actual piece of historic artwork as made by one of my loverly angel-creatures many years ago...





But anyway – she’s an easy target so I’ll leave it there I guess.

Since I mentioned her earlier, I’ve had a trawl and found this clip from Gayle Tuesday’s mid-90’s show “Gayle’s World” featuring the fabulous Sheila Hancock! Not the funniest clip on the web, but I was looking for something in particular and headed down a path that landed here, so it seems fitting...

Sarah Millican: Chatterbox Live

I have to admit to being slightly disappointed in this offering. I wondered at first if maybe my mood wasn’t right when I’d watched it, but have tried several times and it’s still not grabbing me, I have to say.

Don’t get me wrong, I find Sarah Millican very funny. I love that she punches the conventional image of a female comedian square in the face and pushes boundaries as she does. I find that on every panel show, every radio show and every television appearance she makes me laugh endlessly, but I honestly found my interest waning part way through this performance. The main problem for me was that there seemed little new material at all. In fact, some of the set we see on the DVD is the same material she was doing when we first saw her emerge on the circuit. And yes, ok, that stuff was funny – but we heard it already. Now it’s getting a little old, I’m afraid.

I don’t want it to seem like I didn’t laugh at all, because I did. There were chuckles, but mostly accompanied with the thought of “when’s she getting to some new stuff?” I couldn’t help but think that with the benefit of a section of completely new material the use of the old stuff would have been more bearable but that was not really forthcoming. There seemed far too much time dedicated to a section of audience participation, too. Performances almost solely dependant on the audience do not really fit well on a DVD simply because the audience at home do not have the investment in it. Maybe that is the problem, perhaps it just doesn’t translate to DVD well? Although you would think someone would have advised her thus before allowing her to put the effort into making this first offering.

Or maybe I missed something myself. It is possible that having watched it four times the whole point still eludes me.

Either way, this one disappointment will not colour my opinion of her; I do feel she has much to offer the comedy world, just maybe not on this occasion.

Milton Jones – Lion Whisperer

In the interests of disclosure, I should say from the outset that Milton Jones makes me fall about with laughter at every television and radio appearance. It will not surprise you, then, to hear that I loved this dvd!

His quick-fire delivery is not for all, I admit; and I do prefer to watch/listen to Jones alone… not for the reasons you might think! – but because invariably someone will make a noise, I will miss an entire joke and that is it!

I do appreciate that such a paced performance can be hard for some to keep up with; a fact of which I am hugely aware after the hub-creature sat stoically throughout, unable to process the puns and missing out on the laughs, so maybe this isn’t for anyone with any kind of diminished brain function, but for everyone else – freakin’ hilarious!

I absolutely love the way Jones is so effortless in his performance, flowing seamlessly from one subject to another with seldom a pause. There is something quite ethereal about the way he does this without creating an air of chaos and discord.

As you would expect, this performance gives nothing especially challenging, nothing contraversial and nothing unsuitable for younger kids; the laughs just roll in one after another, giving the viewer the opportunity to relax and just allow the laughter to happen.

Absolutely brilliant!!

You know the drill:

Click: Buy: Enjoy

Mark Watson: Request Stops

We were lucky enough to have Mark land in the hometown this week. I am not going to get into another rant about how so few decent shows happen here. I am fully aware that as hard as it is for us to get out of the place, it is equally difficult for others to get in… especially to come to some pipsqueak town no-one outside the county has ever heard of.

But anyway:

There was little in the show that we hadn’t seen before. Much of the material is that which is being shown all over the television at the moment. That did not detract at all, though, because as with all performances the importance is in the delivery and Watson had us all chortling away even before the performance started. I will not ruin it by going into too much detail, but will just say that you do not want to arrive late for this show… well, someone must, I guess… just make sure it isn’t you.

Mark Watson is just an incredibly likeable person all-round. He played with the audience, fully understanding and acknowledging every action. I have to say, there is truly a great skill in being able to simultaneously present an act whilst watching every member of the audience, even in a theatre as small as ours, but he managed it perfectly. It is always a fear of an audience that they will be picked out and ordered to contribute to the show, but whilst participation was invited, there was no victimisation or character assassination with opinions sought but not demanded and each response duly acknowledged.

Whilst most comedians present an onstage character, I very much get the feeling there is no act where Watson is concerned, more that he is just getting on the stage to say what he wants to say and meeting him after the show, he was very much as you see in his public persona. It is quite refreshing in a world where you never truly know a person’s motivation to meet someone who seems so genuinely at ease with themselves that they will allow the world to see them for all they are, but for the most part this does seem the case.

And yes, I am aware that this is turning into a rather gushy type of review, but what can I say – a brilliant show. Very funny, a thoroughly nice guy… and he signed daughter’s drawing, seeming to genuinely love it (and why wouldn’t he? It’s fab!!)

So if there are tickets available (and there are for some shows!) near you, go along! If not, clicky the linky and make purchase of the DVD!
I’ve not watched it, but I’m sure it’s every bit as good as the live show… maybe it’s even different material, who knows!



And for no other reason than that I LOVE it!

Here’s baby’s pic again!!

Try As I Might

I am aware that of late this blog has taken rather a turn for the serious, but life is like that sometimes.

I was reminded recently of my post regarding death in comedy and yes, there are punchlines to be found. The trouble is you have to feel inclined to look for them, secondly when you have spent the best part of ten years mourning someone yet still they are not gone you tend to use up every ounce of funny you can draw from the situation.

That said, I am trying; there are a million unfinished posts just waiting to be uploaded, mostly waiting for the timing to be right or for me to find/create some fitting media to accompany them.



In the meantime, back to task:

Seeing as Christmas is fast approaching, the whole comedy world is releasing a book or DVD. I have been lucky enough to be surrounded with people who love to laugh as much as I, so they have kindly loaned me copies of their purchases in order that I can review as much as possible without the need to buy everything; and that is very much appreciated as my home needs laughter right now!

I have to say, I have watched nothing that has disappointed me so far. Check the all new Amazon widget (to the right) for a vague idea of the things I have seen thus far.

Reviews will be forthcoming in the next few days as I re-watch some things and frantically beg for copies of others. I constantly feel the need to apologise for ads on this blog, but in all seriousness; this is my work. I write for a few agencies for free in addition to the commission stuff I do and this is just another on the list of “things I do for love” (and no, I won’t do that!) So please do use the links, even if you aren’t buying what it directs to, I still get credit for your purchases. So if you are heading to Amazon any time soon, please do it through one of my links.

And whilst you are there, buy this:




It’s only £2 and is a fab read!! Ok, I am still fangirling over Chris Corcoran in a big way.

*digression alert*

See, here’s the thing… child two was using my computer a little while ago to download more images for her drawings. One of those was the lovely Chris Corcoran. So now, whenever I download anything and the little window thing opens up to ask where you want it, there he is!



But that isn’t the only thing…

I genuinely don’t know why/how, but her other pics don’t show up on my slideshow screensaver – Chris does… don’t ask, because I can’t figure it out. They are all in the same location, and everything; but I’m not complaining. The thing is, if I leave the office for a while, when I return his is always the picture on the screen. Like he’s just there smiling back at me “I’ve been waiting for you!” … And I know, that’s just a little creepy, but that’s the kind of thing that keeps me going (and not in that way, dirty!!) in a time when everything seems so utterly pointless.

On which note, time for a coffee, as I don’t think I’ve had anywhere near enough caffeine yet today …

Oh yeah, one other thing: Following on from my rather vague (for once intentionally so!) review of Rhod Gilbert's show last week, he has now announced dates for the full tour. Check out his website : tickets are on sale next week... and YAY! there are a few shows within a couple of hours' drive of here, so I have a week to decide which road I would rather spend two hours staring at...

Acknowledging Gary Speed

You will all be perfectly aware that I have precious little knowledge of spectator sports in general, with near zero knowledge of football. That said, I do want to take a moment or two to acknowledge the suicide this weekend of Gary Speed.

His was a name with which I had a vague familiarity; that said, I did have to google him on signing into facebook to find some 30 or so of my friends had posted statuses referring to his unfortunate death… and for those who still have no idea who he was, here is a link to more information.

This is not another blog of “what a great loss to football”; there are ample tributes around the web from people to whom his passing meant a great deal more than it did to me. I want to discuss the way this has highlighted the subject of depression and mental health in general.

Living with someone with severe depression, I know how difficult a condition it is to manage on a day-to-day basis. People who have never encountered it simply cannot understand and I often find myself engaged in arguments following the line of “If he just got on with his life he would soon cheer up!” – If it were that simple, would there really be the need for such a huge amount of different medications? Surely if there were a way to make all sufferers of depression better without turning them into drug-zombies it would be used quite prolifically? Not only that, but in our case there is no life for him to get on with, so where do you begin?

I am sure it is another of those postcode-lottery issues, but mental health provision on the NHS is in our experience seriously lacking – and certainly something which needs more attention. I know that during a particularly dark phase here, the hub-person told our doctor he was feeling like ending it all and was told he could be referred to the mental health team, but that there was a waiting list of 18 months… what is the point in a system that has people waiting that long? For the most part, talking to a doctor about such things means you have already suffered quite some time; no-one just wakes one morning feeling a little down and goes straight to the doctor, do they? And in our case, the decision was “Don’t bother”; hub’s attitude at that point being by the time he was seen he’d either be over it or would have made the decision to end things.

A few years ago now a friend of my first-born discovered the body of her father after he had committed suicide. I remember at the time the hub-person spoke about how selfish an action it was; in spite of also being close to the same state of desperation himself. I remember feeling anger at that time, unable to understand how he could see how selfish the other dad had been but not how his actions were much the same. Of course, years down the line I understand that selfishness and self-involvement are as much a part of the condition, but it takes a long time to come to this realisation and few people are able to stick by the sufferer long enough to reach a point of fully understanding all the symptoms and indicators.

This is a topic I really could harp on about forever, but since this really is not the place for such seriousness I will close on this note:

I do not want my readers here to think I am setting myself up as some sort of saint, being fully accepting of hub’s condition and treating him with kindness and patience. I am a bitch. I am aware of that. Whilst I understand that his actions are a result of his symptoms, I still hold resentment for his ability to spend his life in bed; summoning food at will, demanding assistance with dressing and washing, having no responsibility for housework, childcare or finances; when he tells me to hide the key for his medications, part of me thinks “Why should I?” – although, of course, I do!

But anyway; just for a few days at least, the world is thinking about how people like the hub cope with life; about how hard it is to get through each day when you don’t know that you want to face tomorrow. People who are aware of their own condition are able to say “actually, I could be that person – maybe I need help?”

And if off the back of such tragedy, just one person is able to find their way out of the darkness or help another to manage their condition, then surely this means such a high-profile death of one so popular has not been in vain.

To All Appearances

I may just have found the perfect way of getting rid of the door-to-door religion salesmen!

I am generally far too polite for my own good and end up chatting to them for an age when they come around, but for the most part I do not mind this too much. As with my attitude towards the type of comedy which challenges our thought patterns, I view these visits as a great way to affirm my own faith; particularly when my own belief system is being as heavily challenged as right now. Spending time only with those who share your own beliefs leads to a certain complacency so I relish the opportunity to defend my opinions to those who view things differently. It is also endemic of my eclectic nature that rather than holding to a particular belief system I follow a path of my own making by taking parts of formal religions so it is nice to hear how things are viewed by certain groups of people.

Occasionally, however, I would rather not be stuck on the doorstep for almost an hour discussing my views on what the bible says about the current economic climate. This morning is one such day.

Having been through a particularly difficult phase with the hub-person yesterday, I will admit to being scared of what I might wake to this morning, so opted for the sofa. Worried about him, though, I found myself awake much of the night, heading up a few times to listen at the door to check all was well. This means I slept the sum total of about four hours to wake at around ten – a fact I am sure will offer great reassurance to my regular readers given my need for a predictable Saturday!

Then a knock at the door.

Now, we are currently being subjected to an onslaught of charity do-gooders* begging for bank details, so I contemplated ignoring it. Unfortunately, though, the knock came as I was headed past the door, so I knew I would have been seen. I answered, then, to a man I could barely recognise through my bleary eyes and with the glare of a bright winter’s morning although the magazines in his hand showed it was, in fact, my regularly visiting Jehovah’s Witness. “Sorry to have disturbed you in this state!” – ummm… ok. Not quite sure what he meant by that – I had flung a sweatshirt and leggings over my nightwear (the office is cold today!) so wasn’t especially in a state of undress or anything, but clearly was not looking great! So he just handed over the usual magazines; no reference to articles of interest, no query as to whether I agreed with the current passage of bible study, just a “here you go, I’ll leave you in peace”.

Confidence knocked for the day then. Although a glance in the mirror showed exactly what had scared him so. Only three small factors, but enough to make me seem as though I had a thoroughly enjoyable Friday night: I have a degree of ptosis which looks far worse when I have not slept well (and I haven't!); I also have the driest eyes on the planet (once had a 10-minute blot paper test and there was absolutely no moisture) so they are red and sore-looking before I apply medication; add to this the fact that I am having the worst kind of bad-hair day having opted to forego blow-drying my hair before settling down to sleep last night.

Attractive creature, eh?!
Funnily enough, as I write this Rhod and Chris are currently discussing people lying in dating ads to make themselves seem more attractive.

Before I sidetrack, then, onto something else, I will conclude what I set out to say: namely that in future if I am wanting to avoid talking to the man at the door I will simply rough up my hair, rub sand in my eyes and affect a greater droop of my eyelid.






Anyway – connected with the subject of appearance and since it fits with this morning’s intellectual debate from Messers Gilbert and Corcoran, what of the whole issue of lying to impress when signing up for internet dating sites?

Is there really any point? I mean it’s all very well, I guess if you are looking for nothing beyond exchanging a few emails; but if you are truly looking for a partner why would you make claims to be someone you are not? You are not likely to form an actual relationship if you have to start with apologising for every lie you have told on your application, are you? Surely what you would want to do is sell yourself short so when they meet you their first thought, rather than disappointment is “Not as bad as I expected!”

Or maybe it’s a sign of my current state of mind that “not as bad” sounds like quite the compliment.

*I should make it clear that I have nothing against the idea of charity, but I have huge issues with the current wave of door-knocking beggars. The smugness they respond with when you say no. “Do you not think the future of our children is important?” – of course I bloody do, but I choose to show this by actions which benefit others rather than by throwing money into a scheme which is unlikely to ever be seen in this area anyway. I also know that the person currently judging my attitude towards parting with “just enough for a daily paper” (which as it happens I do not buy anyway!) most likely does not have a monthly standing order either and is taking money from the charity for the time they are running around the streets guilting people into handing over their cash.


And since I want Amazon credit to treat myself to some new books, please clicky some of the linkies...


If you've not watched this film yet, then you really should click, buy, watch 'cos it's fabulous!

On Those Topman Tshirts

Amidst a huge campaign of faux-feminism, Topman have been forced to remove part of their new range from sale.

I’m getting on my high horse again, but really – what gives with society that we have to be so prissy about everything?!

I looked at these shirts and had a chuckle… ok, so they aren’t the funniest slogan t-shirts I have seen, but this is not a t-shirt review so that’s not the issue is it?



The claim that one shirt somehow condones domestic violence – wrong on a few counts…

Firstly, where is the suggestion that it is referring to acts of violence? To me, it’s more of a general “I’m a bloke, bound to have done something wrong, whatever it is I’m sorry” kind of thing. I really did not consider until reading further into the article linked above that there was a suggestion of battery.

Secondly, were we to assume that to be the reference, would we then also make the assumption the wearer of the shirt is in some way advertising his own violent nature? When you see a man in a superman t-shirt, do you assume he can fly? I have to say, it’s not the first thought to cross my mind…

Were I in a new relationship, meeting a friend of my new partner for the first time and he arrived in the “new girlfriend” shirt, would I really assume his shirt was a reference to me? Maybe if he whipped off for a wardrobe change once introductions were dispensed, but other than that; no. It’s just a vaguely amusing t-shirt.


I personally find the generic “They are sexist” argument really insulting. It suggests that females have no sense of humour; that we somehow take ourselves too seriously.

The main issue for me, though, is: what exactly is it about these shirts that can be construed as anti-feminist?

If anything, these are more sexist against men: women can speak out and make their thoughts known without need for a t-shirt declaring their opinions; women do not screw up often enough to warrant the necessity of a permanent reminder of their need for excuses; women, frankly, would not been seen dead in such tacky shirts. Is that not the real issue here?

So men: make a stand! Declare your interest if you feel so inclined…

But the reality?

In my usual stance of cynicism, I have to suggest once again that with reports of extremely low pre-Christmas spending and the panic businesses are going through over how to get their share of what little cash is being spent on gifts… just how many extra sales have the Topshop group gained since the commencement of this current campaign? How many have looked in to see what other “offensive” offerings the new range has? And how many have just ‘had’ to buy something whilst they were there?

So for today I ask this of you:

When you read about how offensive something is, think about why it could seem so and whether you think it a valid reason before deciding to blindly follow the crowd.

Rhod Gilbert: Flaming Battenburg Tattoo

Like many others at the moment, Rhod Gilbert is previewing new material and I was lucky enough to get hold of some tickets for a show not too far from here. It is not possible to review properly, simply because we were not given polished material, but in terms of delivering on a promise, well we were told there would be some stuff that worked and some that didn’t and I have to say there is little I felt fell short.

The evening was every bit as hilarious as you would expect; I have mentioned previously how much I actually enjoy the preview shows because I really like the raw, unrehearsed feel. I also like the way you could easily see every show of the run and never see the same thing twice, although having worked as hard as I did to get tickets to this one I do not think I could endure the process too many times to risk finding out for sure!

I will not go into any detail on the material, as this would spoil things when the show is finally cut together, but I would say little needs changing in my opinion. I was quite struck at the irony of spending two hours listening to someone rant about how they no longer feel the need to rant, but I really do not think it would be the same if he were to perform any other way, so I hope he hasn’t really mellowed as much as he claims! It is a vital part of the character we all see him as that we get to ridicule his response to things as well as recognising the nonsense of the situation he describes.

Some of what he delivered did not feel new to me, so I spent much of my time thinking “When did I hear him do that before?” – but this is more a sign of my fangirl nature than that he is not delivering on a promise of completely new material. I do make a huge effort to catch every TV and radio performance and even a writer as hard-working as Gilbert could not possibly come up with the vast amount of material needed to make every single performance unique.

So there you are; I would say your chance to see a preview show has probably passed unless new dates are announced as tickets sell quickly, but keep an eye on Rhod’s website for announcements of the main tour and definitely make the effort to go along – although if you are reading this blog, you will no doubt be doing that anyway whether I tell you to or not…

There are many of Rhod's performances to be found on youtube, but I particularly love this one!



And this is on my Christmas list, since my seperate copies have vanished!

Or you can pre-order the DVD of this new material, due for release in time for next Christmas:

Fangirling Like a Crazy

I received the brilliantly funny “Random Thoughts” by Chris Corcoran last week.

It’s an amazing book, but I can’t bring myself to review it properly here. I greatly value my integrity and feel sure that anything I write about it will at the very least seem sycophantic and to be honest if you are ordering anything from Amazon (or any other online store for that matter) it’s no big deal to add another £1.99 to your order and make up your own mind!

When it arrived, I had just poured a cup of tea: I intended to read a little of the book whilst my tea was steeping and then get back to work, but ended up reading the entire thing before doing anything else (well, I did whip the teabag out of the cup between chapters and once left the book for a couple of minutes whilst I transferred some laundry from the washer to the dryer).

Today I read it for a third time and still laughed aloud as much as the first.

There is not much more I can say than that, really; mainly because I am very much in love with Mr Corcoran right now so to start trying to review anything he has touched on would just appear gushy and insincere regardless of how hard I try to remain objective.

So buy the book. As Chris says himself: “If it’s rubbish, you’ve only wasted £1.99” …. but it isn’t, so you’ll have wasted nothing!




And because I am fangirling in such a crazy-assed way at the moment, I should admit to having watched this video starring the delicious Mr Corcoran - oh and Elis James several times over the last few months - and it doesn't get any less funny!

Flattered

Today’s picture is provided by my delightful eight-year old. She spent almost an hour working in secret, making us close our eyes for a grand reveal before asking “Well, do you know who it is?”

I should say that at this point, the picture had no title – if it did the question would have been easier to answer and possibly would not have led to the ensuing discussion.

“I don’t know, Santa maybe?”

“NO MUM!! It’s clearly you; look at it, I put the double chin in and everything!”



On the plus side I noticed that she had used blue for my hair.

I recently decided to move away from the comfort of varying degrees of red, burgundy and copper for a promising “Cosmic Blue”… what I have, however, is black. It’s a nice black rather than the dull, dry shade you tend to get with dyed hair but a bright, bold, ‘clingingtomyyouth’ blue colour it ain’t.

She knows that, though, and has clearly acknowledged my will to be seen as a funkier more youthful version of myself.

“Thank you for making my hair blue, at least!”

“Well, I didn’t really – just that it’s chalk – there isn’t a black is there!”


So here I am, warts and all. Not that I have any warts… thankfully… although you can be sure baby will be letting everyone know should I ever grow any – or acquire them – not sure how you refer to the onset of warts.


Thankfully I have now been deleted from the chalkboard in favour of a poll:

DINNER: Fry-up vs Carbonara.

Three votes each… I know you are confused now; how does a five person family make for six votes? Since I refused to choose one child over the other, baby put a vote on each side on my behalf. So carbonara with sausages, baked beans and fried eggs then.

Interesting indeed.

Scrabbling

This post comes with a warning – of sorts.

It contains language likely to offend some, in fact the entire post is based on one word – and it is not a good one!

I have warned you – there has been ample opportunity for you to stop reading.




My readers who know me will be aware of my love of word games and as such will possibly on occasion have played scrabble with me. I prefer to play online than real life. For one thing, the maths is done for you, for another you don’t need to worry about whether a word really exists; you just try it out, hit the “send” button and it goes – or more often it doesn’t; but the point is you can play words without really giving much thought to whether they really exist.

By far the worst thing when playing scrabble though, whether playing online or not, is when you see a rude word on your rack, because you know from that moment your game is thwarted.

Picture the scene, then, on making a move and looking at my new letters: C – bugger! A C is never good, because you just know you will be stuck with it for a while … but hold on, because I still have the K from before, so it’s not so bad after all, I mean a CK is 8 points right off the bat without even factoring in special squares and so on and there are far more CK words than with just a single C.

Also amongst my new letters was a U.

I already had an F.

Now, regardless of age or gender, there is a 14-yr old boy hidden somewhere in the back of everyone’s brain which will activate what I like to refer to as the ‘Beavis and Butthead Reflex’ but I am sure there is possibly some proper term for it.

“Hehe! I’ve got the word FUCK!”

And you stare at the letters for an age in the pretence of trying to think of any other word you could possibly play, but in actual fact all you are doing is staring at the word FUCK, thinking

“Should I?”

So you shuffle the letters around a bit; because if they are mixed up you won’t see the word and might stand a chance of creating something clean, right?

WRONG – We have all seen the French Connection logo, so we know how it works; your brain will do that really clever thing where it says: “You know what, those letters are all mixed up! Here, let me sort them for you!”

And no matter what order you have the letters in, still all you can see is FUCK





Now here is where we see the biggest difference between playing scrabble online vs the ‘real world’; because in the real world, you would never play the word FUCK, even with the U on a triple-word square butting up against an X (66 points, by the way!) but playing online somehow makes you feel that you can push the boundaries – so you place your letters – hit the ‘send’ button and await the “invalid word” message with that immature chuckle echoing in your mind. But it doesn’t come; because online scrabble has no moral code nor a sense of humour; and so it sends your word. And you are left needing to send an apology to the physicist with whom you had until this point been deep in intellectual recourse explaining why you felt the need to use the word FUCK in this particular game. He would understand, though, wouldn’t he? Surely as a scientist he’s familiar with the BBR?

It seems not.

Flylady : Schmylady!

Some days it is really hard to focus.

This pretty much represents how today is panning out for me:




So far, in order to avoid real work I have cleaned my kitchen and all three bathrooms, sorted a couple of boxes of stuff the kids don’t want into what is good for passing on and what is only fit for the bin, stared out of the window for a bit, contemplated cleaning the car (but it’s raining so I thought better of it), compiled some WMP playlists, prepared some stuff for an upcoming interview on a friend’s radio show (in spite of not yet even having a date for said interview!), sent out a few random BS emails about nothing in particular, written a poem and an article, completed a couple more future posts for this blog and blown out an hour on Youtube.

As for the job I am supposed to be doing: well, I have scribbled 3 pages of notes and opened somewhere in the region of several firefox tabs containing useful information and websites of interest… but I need a particular book – I know where it is, it’s in a box in the gym – might just have a run whilst I am out there!


On the plus side, look at what a productive day I’ve had!

Kicking the Flylady in the teeth; who says you need a plan and a clean sink to get anything done? All I need is a tricky topic to avoid writing about...

Argumental

The return of this show was welcomed most enthusiastically in our household, partly because we had so much enjoyed previous series and partly (of course) because of the first-born's latest comedy infatuation!


Obviously, there is always a concern when a show which seemed to have the perfect combination of personalities undergoes such an immense change, but for the most part the new cast doesn’t seem too bad; although maybe rather than just keeping the same old title, this series should be now billed as Argumental 2.0 just to distinguish it from the former.

I am still not quite sure how I feel about Sean Lock’s efforts as host. I think he is a brilliant comedian, don’t get me wrong, but that was a lot of the problem; his constant need to be heard did slightly grate at me, simply because that is not his purpose. It did quite make me think of the US version of ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway’, in which Drew Carey felt the constant need to write himself into rounds… I was half-wondering when we should expect Lock to announce a special round just for himself. This was the main reason the previous team worked well, John Sergeant was able to be funny without the egotistical need to be funnier than his co-stars. Part of me is a little annoyed, too, because with Lock now hosting, we won’t get to hear any of his rambling rants which always made him such a hilarious guest in previous series.

I did think new captains Robert Webb and Seann Walsh worked very well together. There is an obvious contrast between them in terms of age and experience but that can only help on a show with the sole focus being debate. There was obviously a lacking in the chemistry we saw from previous captains, Marcus Brigstocke and Rufus Hound but this I am sure will come as they both relax into the show. I did feel at times Webb was holding back slightly, although the softer side of me would like to think of it as an attempt to avoid taking over the show completely rather than to suggest he just was not trying; much like a father playing football with his son and clearly allowing the odd goal past just to boost his confidence slightly. Walsh performed outstandingly well in spite of being far less experienced than the others and the show was well worth watching a second time just for his brilliant impression of a women’s tennis match! I also think his stumbling, lackadaisical delivery is perfectly suited to such a format as this, lending to the ad lib nature.



Watch it – if you have access to Dave*, of course… if you don’t then I’m sorry. Unfortunately there is little I can do to remedy this, but to say that there are videos on the Dave website.

*As I have previously mentioned, there are places on the web that host TV shows for you to stream, but whilst the websites themselves claim it is perfectly legal, I still do not know for sure, so will not link to them… but you could find them if you looked I guess.

The next episode airs Thursday 11th November at 10pm with guests Jack Whitehall and Chris Ramsay.

Check here for details of the many opportunities to catch the show if you missed it!