I know you will think this is another procrastination ploy, but it really isn’t. In truth, I have had such an über-productive day I have time to stop and do something I have been meaning to do for a while now.
I love that so many of you send me questions from time-to-time about the blog and other stuff, so I thought I’d take a moment or two to address some of them; I thought I’d do it publicly in order to stop the same questions being asked time and again (see, a time saver not a waster!)
Why do you opt for anonymity?
In general, I write because I love to use words not because I want people to recognise me so tend to take on more ghost-writing/pseudonym work so I can write for the sake of it. In terms of this blog itself, I like that I can be really honest and open about the things I want to write about. There are certain people in the real world who do not know quite how ill the hub-person is or how bad our life gets and I really do not need the fuss that would be generated by their knowing. I prefer to just be able to knuckle down and get on with things but still have the room to make a passing reference if it feels relevant.
For all your talk of worry about the husband, you don’t sound as if you care much…
On the contrary, I do care greatly (I think you are confusing caring for love, they are two wholly different concepts!) Firstly, detachment is a great tool for hiding from negative situations and as you should know I am a great hider! Secondly, the man with whom I live is not my husband as I knew and loved him; my husband died nine years ago, leaving someone else to use his body. I made a decision at that point to either stick around and look after this new person or to bolt and leave him to fend for himself. I signed up for “sickness and health” so waited in the hope that my husband might one day return.
What is your favourite [insert noun here]?
I have no favourite film, book, comedian, DVD, animal etc… The concept of favourites is much the same as the concept of genre; it all depends on mood. To use the word favourite suggests that you will always choose that above others and I just can’t commit to that in any context. As a for instance: I love the film “The Usual Suspects”, but if I am in the mood for a good hearty laugh, I won’t find it there, so will choose something else – therefore The Usual Suspects is not my favourite film; my most read book (ignoring the blatant over-reading of Chris Corcoran’s Random Thoughts!) would be a book of poems by T.S Eliot, but that isn’t my favourite book by a long shot because I have read far more thought-provoking ones… I could go on, but I am sure you get the point!
Describe your ideal man…
I have been asked this a few times (hence it’s peculiar inclusion here!) but it is wholly irrelevant. In fact, I am only answering at all as I have been asked more than once, and that is the point of this…
So, to be glib… um, tall (very)… stunning blue eyes… maybe a bit of a beard… um… into rugby… perhaps even just the slightest bit Welsh… NOT REALLY!!
Honestly, see the previous question; were I looking for a man (which clearly I am not – even though it has been a while!!) I wouldn’t have an ‘ideal’... next question please…
How do you relax?
Believe it or not, this is my relaxation. I spend much of my time working feverishly on various projects (I’m not sure how many projects a person should ordinarily juggle, but I am currently working on 4 larger things between writing articles and doing the little jobs I’ve picked up of late) so when I am not spending time on them, I will be burying myself in something vaguely funny and writing about it here.
I do also meditate when I have the time, but can rarely find that special place nowadays as I need to keep an ear open for the hub-person. Reading and very long baths are great for a true switch-off.
Would you consider yourself an animal lover?
I’ve always found that a peculiar phrase; it conjures up an odd image indeed! But yes, I like animals. It comes mostly of growing up in the countryside, surrounded by cows, sheep and horses. We also spent a lot of evenings as a child driving around Exmoor watching the deer and ponies and as a parent I have spent pretty much the last fifteen years or so at one zoo or another so animals are very much a part of our lives. In fact, Miss Middle so loved our local zoo that we had to buy season passes as we were there almost weekly when she was younger… but before you ask; no, I don’t have a favourite animal… or zoo for that matter… but I could tell you some I don’t like!
You once described yourself as a “perpetual learner” – explain (please)
Did I? Since leaving college I have always been taking one course or another. I had wanted to go on to Uni and become a teacher, but my father forbade it, telling me it was a waste as I would only get married and have children once I left university. But I showed him! By… erm… leaving home, getting married and having children… but I have since taken an OU course towards a degree… and once life is more settled I will take the rest I need to complete. Just so I can say “Yes, I have one!”
I have also taken home study courses in psychology, accounting, child day care, project management (ironically!) and have studied Reiki, crystal therapy and am currently studying past life therapy amongst other things.
I also devote a lot of time to learning new languages. I have been learning Polish for a long time (although it is far easier now as I have the Rosetta Stone to help me!) and have learnt Welsh and a little Vietnamese (just because I can!) and because I worked with children with autism and Down’s syndrome, learnt some basic Makaton.
I do feel it is important to be constantly updating your own skill-set, so am always looking for something new to learn.
Are you a musical person?
Not sure of the context… I don’t whistle as I walk if that is what you mean.
I do love music, yes. I have a whole philosophy pertaining to music that I won’t go into here. I had music taken away from me for a few years when we were subjected to a particularly unpleasant neighbour (the long and short being that her music was always so horrendously loud that even if we tried to listen to our own, we could not hear it above hers) It is only in the last two years or so that I have felt like listening again, so have changed my tastes immensely. I do feel, though, that whilst we have memories, they are simply thoughts and pictures, whilst adding a piece of music to the memory takes you right back into the moment with all its emotions, smells and textures.
In terms of playing music, I always wanted to play the clarinet and cello but my parents could not afford lessons, who knows, maybe that will be my next “something new”… I did play the recorder (descant, treble and tenor!) in my primary school orchestra and had a keyboard I taught myself to whack out a few tunes on.
You seem to have an opinion on most things – what is your stance on piercings/tattoos?
Hehe… do I come across as opinionated? I’d like to think not…You once mentioned “losing faith” – so are you a religious person then?
Piercings and tattoos, eh – my opinion is that they should be mandatory, such as to stop those whinging mopes who claim everyone with a tattoo is somehow a second class citizen.
Obviously, not really – but I do believe each to their own. I personally have my ears each pierced twice and have one tattoo, with more of both planned. I do not think tattoos or piercings reflect a person’s ability to do a job, so should not be relevant to deciding whether or not to accept an application from someone, although I would question the merit of employing someone with a number of bad tattoos, simply because either: a) they do not realise they have made a poor choice in their artist and as such clearly would not have the aptitude to work at whatever role I am trying to fill or b) they did realise their artist was no good but either returned to them for more work regardless (doesn’t care enough) or went to a different artist without figuring out how they chose badly in the first place (lacks initiative and/or has very bad problem-solving skills) This to my mind is the only level of judgment that should be allowed on the basis of body art. (Oh, except if the job is, eg, in a nursery/day care centre where certain piercings could in fact be a danger, therefore it would be acceptable to request that they be removed.) I do always find it funny when you go into, for example, a DIY store and see people with yellow tape across their eyebrow… because, yes, that looks far more acceptable. When I saw a chunk of metal in your face I wondered if you had the aptitude required to take my money in exchange for a bag of nails, but with that yellow tape instead, I am sure you can do this! Careful now, don’t stab yourself in the face with them!
Honestly!!
But apart from that, I have no stance as such…
No.
I am a spiritual person, there is a difference. I personally do not believe going to church makes me a better person (I have a vague recollection from my A-level days of a quote to that effect, probably by Marx, but I can’t remember it now!) In fact, if I don’t go to church, I am happier, more rested and better able to spread joy, so in that context going to church is a bad thing! I also find that a lot of the church people I encounter are extremely judgmental and condescending.
I do believe in a God-head, but as an idea, not a person. I have read a variety of religious texts and note that they are all pretty much bringing in the same stories (for instance, many religions have a story of the son of their chosen God being born of a virgin) but in my mind these stories are metaphorical rather than factual and have simply been adapted to suit the crux of the followers of that particular religion.
I have studied the Ascended Masters and hold very much to the multi-religion ideal they represent and this multi-faith approach is very much in keeping with my general eclectic style. Either way, my belief system is a simple one: live a good life, deal with the sh!t you get dealt in the best way you can, do not mistreat people or the world in which you live and your life will pretty much work out ok…. Sounds alright, wonder if I can get that on a bumper sticker?
Anyway, that’s the ten most-asked questions. If you have more, don’t be shy. I have enjoyed the challenge of answering these, so it’ll be good to do it again sometime!
Since we closed on an ideological note, I’ll leave you with this piece of excellent philosophy from the fabulous Bill and Ted:
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